✨certified hromádka neštěstí✨

a lot of my ritual behaviors are "checking"

self-guided ocd exposure therapy can be as simple as resisting the urge to check if your door is locked more than once and sitting with the discomfort until it passes without engaging in any reassurance rituals.

it can look like sending an email and resisting the urge to re-read it over and over again obsessing over your wording, sitting with the discomfort until it passes without engaging in any reassurance rituals.

some of my rituals are also "avoidance"

in which case it can look like checking your email inbox you've been obsessively avoiding because you're anxious about receiving a specific email you don't want to see.

and YEP! ☝️

!!!

it might be hard to believe, but learning distress tolerance for things like "checking" with emails and door locks actually prepared me for the Big Ones like harm and sexual OCD themes.

I think this article from 2007 is a good introduction to the basic concepts of exposures:

that SAID, a lot has changed since 2007! the idea that exposure therapy can (or even should) prevent fears from every happening has come into question!

now the conversation about OCD exposure has turned to training distress tolerance:

...rather than aiming for the decline of anxiety (habituation) during exposure, the inhibitory learning approach to ERP teaches people how to be open-minded toward experiencing anxiety and fear when these experiences inevitably show up. Indeed, fear and anxiety (and other emotions in OCD such as disgust or guilt) are universal and even adaptive experiences, not something that need to be “fixed” or gotten rid of. Most importantly, even if they can be unwanted, intense, and distressing, these emotions and thoughts are safe. From an inhibitory learning perspective, fear extinction (and long-term improvement in OCD) depends not only on learning that feared stimuli are safe, but that it is also safe to experience the emotional response that is triggered by these stimuli.

And remember at the end of the day I AM NOT a specialist. I am discussing my own OCD journey and referencing the available material on OCD exposures.

I'm not always right, and I can't know what's best for you.

Which is why I haven't recommended any of the old workbooks I've completed, because some of them are old enough that there are better ones to follow that I haven't gotten to trying yet!

I recommend doing your own reading from OCD-aware organizations:

aro & ace books: purple & green covers!

I know some of these books were specifically designed this colour because of the flags, some are maybe just coincidences, but hey. I will have another post for books with the flags on the cover!

Dear Wendy - YA contemporary, 2x aroaces

Olivia Gray Will Not Fade Away - middle grade speculative, aroace MC (+ 3 side aspecs)

Power To Yield - scifi, 2x aroaces

Arden Grey - YA contemporary, ace lesbian MC

Loveless - YA contemporary, aroace MC

Let's Talk About Love - contemporary romance, bi ace MC

Bloody Spade - YA urban fantasy, acespec MC, aroallo & demi SCs

Little Black Bird - YA urban fantasy, aroacespec MC & LI

Looking For Love In All The Haunted Places - contemp/paraormal romance, ace MC

The Last 8 - YA scifi, aro bi MC

Compound Fracture - YA thriller, arospec MC

Common Bonds - aromantic sff anthology

Graven trilogy - scifi, acespec MC

Beautyland - litfic, aroace MC

The Sound of Stars - YA scifi, demisexual MC

#aspec books / aspec database / tumblr masterpost

Catching up on art posts, very honored and proud to share this oil painting which went live this past Friday, a work created for Elliot Lang's 'Character In Context' show at the A.R. Mitchell Museum in Trinidad, Colorado. Opening is June 5th (sorry, I will not be there) Link to the on line catalog with the few dozen talented artist's contributions with preliminary studies and final paintings in the comments below.

Precipice

20" x 16" Oil on Panel, framed, 2026

A part of my series of works in dialog with our mythological fascination with space travel and our place in the universe.

Character in Context

A.R. Mitchell Museum of Western Art

150 E. Main St.

Trinidad, CO 81082

aro & ace book database

"I am obscene to you, but to myself, I simply am."

As a queer, neurodivergent, and non-cisgender person, this fucking resonates. Trans people, drag queens, and queer people are demonized by politics and the media, accused of being pedophiles, or straight up murdered. But we're not trying to "groom" children or "impose" our beleifs onto anyone. We're just trying to survive and live our lives.

We are obscene to them, but to ourselves, we simply are.

In summary: Frankenstein (2025) really said, "You thought you were just getting another reimagining/adaption of Frankenstein's monster? WRONG. We are going to bring up all of your internalized emotions about being someone different in a society that will never fully, truly, understand or accept you for who you are and drag them to the surface, along with some of the most gorgeous cinematography and incredible acting performances you've ever seen."

1. borrowing misery from future

2. carrying grief of the past