Pensword Press

the reactionary white slogan "all lives matter". ideologically, it signifies not a universalism, but the eradication of the particular within another. It's not about "all lives" but the consumption of any difference by the ideology of whiteness. It's a call to keep 'blackness' within the bounds of Amerikkkan ideology, where the 'blackness' of "black lives matter" a declaration of subjectivity, is being treated like what it is: a slave escaping. By negating this subjectivity, whiteness is declaring, "no, you are NOT black. You are just a life. And ALL lives matter. You do not have the right to break away from this project. You are a part of it. We don't give you permission." It's like a shark trying to keep food in it's belly.

"All lives matter", it's a painting of the world in a grey. It betrays the assumption of whiteness itself as a universality, in this way mirroring the drab false globalism of 21st century capitalism, a capitalism that transforms the world into Mcdonalds and Walmart. "All lives matter" is the chant of TNCorporations.

For better or worse, im reading Thomas Ligotti’s “Conspiracy Against the Human Race”, the purpose of which so far has to legitimately try to argue the validity for the proposition that not only is consciousness an accident, but that the reproduction of our species should cease..

The writing is pithe and jocular. The ideas are those of a lunatic’s but the writing is superb, forming a pretty nice contrast. Acknowledging the absurdity of pessimism, the book nonetheless does not fail to affect a spiritual disquiet and general mind-fuckery. I’m wounded as I read it. My political grounding is not shattered, but I do see a few tiny cracks emerge, perhaps even persuaded to an alarming degree at the logic of the author.

I accept it all with humor, because this malaise feels empowering in a sort of sick way. Is this a fire that melts steel only to make a sword? Any cracks I might observe from reading the book were weak ground.

I’ll consider pessimism’s arguments out of a sense of duty. We should have a clear understanding of what the human experience entails. I don’t think it leads you to a black hole. I think it informs you, through sardonic prose, that we’re already in one.

That said, I think a weakness of pessimism is that it’s logic necessitates an emotional response to its propositions. “life is drab” so what? “we should all let it die” why? “consciousness is a mistake and we’re only here to suffer a meaningless existence”  ok, so what? All of these propositions at some point require a kind of giving-up that can only be rooted in an emotional take over of the brain. One has to give-up to continue their logical path. In this way, it reminds me of people on their first day of work, or their first work out, who complain about the pain. We’re left saying to them, “yeah, get the fuck over it dude. Get cut or gtfo”

people tend towards two poles: boring or crazy. take your pic

if you’re bad at sex, don’t seek human relationships. Like Mao says, “only right battles you can win”

avoid being somebody else’s identity crisis. 

Machiavelli says women like young blood that enjoys life, not old phlegmatic somber people. A dour outlook might be attractive at first, but when a woman sees that you actually do hate life, the gimic gets old quick.

Don’t fuck people that don’t read.

If you can only date radicals, prepare for incestuous social circles

if one night stands are sleazy to you, that because they are. 

Get ready for loneliness

there is no perfect form, and looking for one will end in misery. Selling yourself short lends towards resentment. Both apply in attempts at love.

Porn is what the end of the world looks likes

Some people have an apocalyptic fetish. Others are prudish. See point #1

at some point you may being to see the general, shared aspects all people have in common. Physically, psychologically, etc. This is helpful to prevent yourself from becoming too  into somebody. Soon you wont get interested at all. Nothing will peak your desire. That is because at the end of the day, bodies are just bodies.

Being the one that still cares in the end is the more honest role, but honestly the worse one.

Don't trust Georgian women. Medea killed her own kids out of spite from Jason’s adultery. Admit it: an angry text or broken glass is much easier to deal with. This has been confirmed to me by multiple people without prompting them.

Orgy-porgy-cuddle-pudles might be fun but are fucking weird quick.

Polyamory is a way for men to be sexist in an ‘understanding environment’. “Free sex? OK!” In a sexist environment, it’s a rhetorical defense for sexism.

Shallow relationships are considered radical now and mirror a lack of commitment to politics.

Sure, all relationships are political. But like war, love has its own rules to follow. Not all late night visits from ex boyfriends are stalking. Not all manic email storms is sexism. People do crazy shit when they care about somebody.

Attraction. Lust. Disillusionment. Resentment. This is the path relationships usually take. Bail at lust. The last two suck, badly.

The worst feeling in the world is when you give it all you’ve got and it’s still not enough. Either they cannot be pleased or your best isn’t very good. 

Sex is meant to be a place “beyond language”. If you aren’t acting like an animal, figure out why. This is also the worst possible place to evoke shame on somebody.

Kissing should always be the most intimate thing possible. If you don’t think so, you probably aren’t doing it right.

Men: replace masturbation with exercise. Porn is addictive. 

Pushing somebody’s boundary can be a very good and necessary thing. Sometimes that might mean making somebody uncomfortable. This can build trust, not detract from it.

Few things are as unattractive as bad taste in music

Take showers together. Grooming one another can be fun and kinky.

of inhibiting insecurities

perniciously ingenuous

doubts and a

voracious drive

of self-destruction