Watch Me Soar

i was so naive in thinking that spirk shippers were exaggerating. what the fuck is wrong with these two.

SPOCK HAS A MATING CYCLE?????

when you use love as an ingredient it's really important to use a contrasting flavor like hate or malice to cut the monotony of the dish and balance the profile so it doesn't overpower the palate

my love language is the same as a crow. if you’re nice to me i’ll bring you useless little trinkets from my travels that made me think of you

girl will suffer unearthly tragedies and still run errands the same day with a smile on their face but if a mans parents divorce when he is 12 he will unleash his wrath on the world for the rest of his life

imagine you work at a luxury car dealership. two college kids show up in a shitty rental car one day. one is has facial tattoos and the haughty attitude of a famous person. the other is a dead-faced goth the size of an elf. tattoo boy says they’re here to buy so you humor them and show some cars. elf man doesn’t say a word the whole time but clearly is calling the shots. he points at a Maserati and says he’ll be paying for the whole thing, no financing necessary. then he goes back over to the rental car, where evidently there has been a whole person asleep in the backseat the entire time. this man is about the same height as the goth pixie and dressed like a homeless person. he listens to the goth say something, pulls out several wads of cash, hands them over and goes back to sleep. your boss spends the next hour walking these freaks through the paperwork while you count through what turns out to be nearly 100k in cold hard cash. no one explains a goddamn thing and they leave with the nicest car on the lot

Writing prompt? No. Writing much delayed.