and the wolves still howl and the light still glowing red

Exterlien (D.O. - PC98 - 1990) 

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

good god when the roast beast hits..

cool little factoid I made this post as I was having a genuine panic attack on 600 micrograms of lsd in the middle of downtown Denver because I lost my wallet. like this was me operating at peak efficiency

pussy understander so they call me cliterate

In the novelizations of the original two Resident Evil games, which came out before the series left Raccoon City or Umbrella corp, the author's own justification for all this was that the puzzles were commissioned by the same paranoid rich CEO who gave bored company engineers and scientists limitless budget and creative control to protect his evil secrets as obtusely as possible. So basically a delusional billionaire gathered a bunch of amoral computer nerds and told them "while you're farming artisinal lizard demons for the army, I need you to make it as confusing and difficult as you possibly can for anyone to get in and out of my office alive" and I guess their autism lit up like a blazing star with a free ticket to design a real world lucasarts adventure game. This is implied later in the book to be exactly the reason why none of them made it out alive.

Never let a job stop you from reading books like you're unemployed