pearlnet

"Gold Star Lesbian" is an outdated gatekeeping term within the lesbian community that I have not encountered in the wild in over a decade by anyone still using it in good faith, because the purity culture that it formed during is mercifully dead and buried. It is a relic of the past. It imposes weird goddamn chastity expectations on queer women to "hold out" into adulthood and punishes exploration of sexuality before you come out publicly, carries a lot of added baggage for women who've been abused or assaulted (because grossly, people have included that in the metric), and more recently has been picked up by TERFs and gone from 'useless term' to 'big damn red flag'.

In a social setting where compulsory heterosexuality is expected of all people, and where self-reflection and the existence of queer people is seen as inherently Adult, it is not a useful or realistic expectation to judge people on whether they have ever, or might ever, 'slipped up' on a one-misstep issue. This is asinine in the same way as asking if someone in their 40s is a virgin. Not only is it something that doesn't matter, but it's a stupid question.