Happiness

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When trying new coping strategies or learning a new habit, you’ll fail. Possibly many many times.

But that’s alright! No one just PICKS it up immediately. 

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You’re trying to learn to do it sometimes, and then occasionally, and then more often than not, and finally every time!

Similarly, you might fail in any plan or timetable you’re trying to use.

But that’s alright! 

As OP’s therapist said, it doesn’t have to be perfect! In fact, no one can pick it up immediately. 

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Doing things OCCASIONALLY is better than not doing it at all.

Doing things LATE is better than not doing it at all.

Let me also post OP’s tags cause it had another good point.

You control your timetable, it doesn’t control you!

You can follow it and stop following it as you want. 

It doesn’t control you. You control it.

Aweful thing about adhd is the sheer emptiness when you havent done anything for a while that gets the dopamine flowing. Its not numbness like depression, it’s pure emptiness.

From my experience, it seems to be more common in people with more inattentive symptoms and the more severe the symptoms, the more empty you feel.

The emptiness is probably the worst things I’ve ever felt; at my worst I have found myself wishing I was heartbroken or that my depression was back, just so the sheer emptiness would go away.

I’m usually quite optimistic so you can see from my words how much I hate it. My suicidal idealization stemmed from this feeling when I was a teen. 

I know that isn’t possible for everyone - that’s okay. There are many of us out there that are willing to share the things that we have learned that work for us (or don’t).

And sometimes I think, “Well, two hundred is technically less than four hundred.” And I have to stop myself, because - I am writing half as much as Terry Pratchett. Terry fucking Pratchett, who not only published regularly up until his death, but published books that were consistently good. 

And this has also been an immense help as a writer with ADHD, because I don’t feel bad when I take a break from writing - two hundred words works up quick, after all. If I take a break at 150, I have a whole day to write 50 more words, and I’ve rarely written less than 200 words and not felt the need to keep writing because I need to tie up a loose end anyways. 

someone’s AGAB is not your fucking business

someone’s deadname is not your fucking business

someone’s transition is not your fucking business

someone’s gender dysphoria is not your fucking business

someone’s previous labels and identities are none of your fucking business

if you know someone’s deadname, just fucking ignore it. do NOT EVER introduce a trans person or talk about them like “this is steve but he used to be sarah” or “my friend steve whose deadname is sarah” or anything like that. just shut the fuck up if you don’t think you could possibly NOT do that.

9/10 depictions of trans people in media especially film/shows is wrong and stereotypical.

transphobia is a wildly different experience than homophobia

maybe? look up? transgender labels? and identities? so you aren’t constantly asking someone what their label means? or just use? logic and common sense? like oh i wonder what genderfluid means oh maybe it means a FLUID GENDER oh gee could it be?

trans people never ever NEED to disclose that they are trans, and if someone doesn’t tell you that they’re trans but you later find out? don’t confront them!! they did not “lie to you”, you just assume that everyone is cis, which is weird and transphobic!!

Play a game together, maybe dick around on a Minecraft server or do some dumb shit on Gmod

Just send ‘em a picture of your surroundings, take a picture of that cool lizard you saw and show them.

Send them a song you think they’d like

Stream a game you’re playing over discord

Take a picture of your pet and send it to them.

But adaptations often don’t understand why he’s bad, and make him bad for the wrong reasons.

In the book, Javert is bad because he’s a cop. He is the Best Cop It is Possible to Be, he’s honest and completely obedient to the law, and he’s TERRIBLE, because you can’t be “good” when you’re enforcing a system that is inherently cruel.

But like... in Les Mis 1998 Javert is portrayed as being an unusually evil person who just has a weird obsession with Valjean, unlike other cops, who are Good. Les Mis 1998 even adds a Good Cop side character who lets Valjean go free in Montreuil-sur-Mer, while joking with Valjean about how Javert is unusually evil and none of the other cops like him.

???????

And as I’ve ranted about a lot, BBC Les Mis Javert’s desire to enforce the law is portrayed as a good honorable quality, and there’s an entire precinct of “good cop” side characters who help him.....while BBC Javert’s actual “moral failing” is what Andrew Davies calls his “twisted love” for Valjean.

and I’m just like...eh? Javert is bad, yes!! But that’s noT WHY he’s bad. He’s not bad because he’s gay, he’s bad because he’s a cop. He’s not bad because he’s an usually evil cop, he’s actually an unusually “good” cop— and being a “good cop” is why he’s bad!

"So long as there shall exist, by reason of law and custom, a social condemnation, which, in the face of civilisation, artificially creates hells on earth, and complicates a destiny that is divine, with human fatality; so long as the three problems of the age — the degradation of man by poverty, the ruin of woman by starvation, and the dwarfing of childhood by physical and spiritual night — are not solved; so long as, in certain regions, social asphyxia shall be possible; in other words, and from a yet more extended point of view, so long as ignorance and misery remain on earth, books like this cannot be useless"

Generalizing and simplifying your identity and using as few labels as possible to define it is good.

Choosing not to label yourself at all or using a very general macro label like queer or mogai is good.

Mom: I don’t think u have ADHD,,, I just think you’re anxious and lazy