Peanut happy and healthy

I have every reason to not post this photo. In fact it’s so programmed in my mind that I should be ashamed for exposing my body fat to the world. But I am SO sick of having conditional love for my body. For only accepting it if it reaches Xkg or X body fat percentage. Over the last few years my body has been at so many different weights and never once was I happy with it! In fact, the more weight I lost, the unhappier I became because it was NEVER ENOUGH.

You might have noticed your therapist, dietician, group leader or whomever mention the term weight redistribution more than a couple of times by now. For those of you who might not be familiar with the term yet, weight redistribution refers to two things:

— THE FIRST —

Gaining weight unevenly in recovery. So if prior to your ED you carried more weight in your hips for example and this was your normal body shape, post-ED you might notice yourself carrying a bit more in your tummy area than you were used to.

Overshooting your ‘ideal’ weight. Basically gaining more than you weighed pre-ED and looking softer than you might have pre-ED.

— THE SECOND —

The idea is that IF you continue nourishing your body properly, then over a period of several months (usually 6mo. to 1 yr.) your weight will redistribute properly, that ‘softness’ you might notice at first will convert partially into muscle and your body will return to it’s pre-ED shape.

I’m sure many of you, especially if you’re early in the recovery process, are more than a little skeptical at the idea of this. I’m sure your ED has whispered in your ear on more than one occasion that “they’re just telling you that to trick you into being okay with getting fat…” After all, having an ED drives you to completely lose trust in your body because you have this ‘other voice’ poisoning your mind. That’s why I decided to write this article as someone who has been exactly where you are, struggling for a looooong time before finally resolving to test the waters and see for myself whether ‘that voice’ was right or wrong. Here’s the deal…

Weight redistribution IS a real thing! As someone who’s fully recovered and stayed that way for the past 3 years, I am telling you that voice in your head is dead wrong, guys! Here’s how you can expect weight restoration to go in recovery (provided you follow your MP and take the correct steps as prescribed by your treatment team).  

You MIGHT gain more weight than your ‘ideal’ weight BUT it won’t be by much. You might gain 5 lbs. more than you weighed pre-ED (if you’re not bingeing in recovery). After a point, the weight gain WILL stop. You won’t gain forever, your body is a smart machine and only takes what it needs, you’re going to have to trust in this to fully recover.

You MIGHT look ‘softer’ than you did pre-ED but You can’t honestly expect to starve away all of your muscle and then look ‘toned’ after weight restoration. Building up muscle takes time. Your body can only work so fast. You’re going to need to be patient here. It’ll take at least 6 months for your body to restore the muscle you’ve lost but it WILL happen. Once your body restores the muscle you’ve lost, that ‘softness’ will go away and you’ll look like your old self again.

DON’T MAKE THE PROCESS LONGER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE What can make the process longer?

Freaking out and restricting or bingeing and purging instead of continuing to follow your MP. This will throw your body out of whack and cause you to gain more unnecessarily which will then prolong the process for you.

Obsessing over your body to the point of keeping your body constantly under stress and pressure. Stress affects your body physically just like actual starvation or b/ping does. Stress causes the body to become less efficient, induces cravings and sabotages the process. So relax, cover up the mirrors if you have to (I did that!), toss your scale and let your body do it’s thing. You’ll be happier for it, trust me!

Following an inadequate Meal Plan. Meaning you’re technically following a ‘plan’ but it’s not sufficient enough and leaves you in a constant state of hunger after meals and snacks. This is just as counterproductive as full-on restricting and b/ping and is basically throwing sticks into your recovery wheels. You shouldn’t be hungry right after a meal so if you are, your MP is not sufficient enough for you.

Stop listening to that voice inside your head - it’s never once told you the truth!

Trust in your body, it has YOUR best interests in mind.

Trust in the process and follow the motions, you WILL emerge on the other side a happier you for it.

Your weight WILL return to normal, all it takes is time.

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