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you used to call me on my saul phone

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catcrumb

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pennysfitzgerald-deactivated201

sometimes i like to look at local pet adoption listings to see what weird names people give to the cats and somehow they never fail to disappoint

jabroni-in-law

Tag urself I’m spaceman

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shiftythrifting

ah yes i was looking for a soap dispenser labeled “ketchup” with a picture of grapes

ironpour

i love being insane on the internet with you homosexuals

markvomit

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serpentwife-deactivated20200820

why are we still here? just to suffer? every day i get emails

#me too and im honestly fukcing sick of it

valtsv

me online: i want to live in the FOREST i want to COMMUNE WITH THE OLD GODS i want to SLEEP IN THE COOL SOFT DIRT and BE ONE WITH NATURE and PARTAKE IN RITUALISTIC REVELRY WITH THE FAE

me when i see a bug irl:

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starwlkers

Y’all

goblinfvckr

anxietyproblem

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eenuttings

california? you mean the place in the red hot chili peppers songs? you know that’s not real right?

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officialsnakeplissken

Neighbor boy knocked on my door. Often he needs his soccer ball inflated and asks me to use my air compressor. He’s holding a giant ass jar of minced garlic. And I’m like “So uh…what’s going on? We have Italian or what?”

“Umm. Umm. Grandma can’t open the jar and I’m not strong enough. Can you?”

So I open the jar. He runs back and spills the entire jar on the sidewalk.

trashcanbees-deactivated2019120

I’m the kid

brandonsgame-deactivated2019051

@xubbs

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