On Stranger Tides

If you expect disappointment,

then you can never really get disappointed.

The heavy sedatives were finally wearing off from his blood streams as he attempted to move a couple of broken fingers. Yet, they were trapped in a cast and metal. His handsome face was barely recognizable because of the heavy bruises and swelling. He difficultly opened his good eye and looked at his former mentor, who apparently was as amused. There would finally be someone his age joining him on the tribute podium.

“ That’s often where I find my friends..” Finnick uttered under his breath. Several of the people he cared about had ended up dead, good people. People who had families. “If you keep it up, you’ll end up there too.” This kid was going to get himself killed. He sat in the chair next to Jason’s bed in the hospital wing, he had been instructed by the capitol to talk some sense into young Jason Todd. “Kid, take some advice from someone whose seen his fair share of death. Comply. Comply with their demands. Being a martyr only hurts those you care about...”

The abnormal presence of hundred of books contrasted with the outlandish amount of luxuries and goods in the wagon. Jason found it odd that someone had decided to put such a peculiar object in the train where the tributes were going.

He made his way silently to the cabinet to see them better and to find out what it was. His surprise was big when he found out it was a vast collection of analyses of what the Hunger Games had been for the last decades. Jason found that none of the other tributes had looked at this. He didn’t want to be too arrogant to assume he had ever been the first to see this. His imposing, muscular image contrasted with his intellectual pose. By how Jason turned the pages, it was more obvious he was a long-practitioner reading.

Another year, another round of tributes to coach and possibly send to their death. To say that Finnick had become a bit nihilistic was an understatement. The hope of change slowly fading into a distant memory. He currently found himself enveloped in a rather superficial conversation with the capitol stylists. They were already talking about costumes for the entrance ceremony. Finnick’s mind was elsewhere, he was worried about the latest tributes from four. The girl...she wouldn’t make out alive. Meek little thing, scared and uncertain. The young boy though, he had potential. 

“They hate us because they ain’t us!”

“ You know what’s more destructive than a nuclear bomb?… words.”

“ Holy fuckamole. Is that real?” 

“ Haters gonna hate, and ain'ters gonna ain’t! “

“This whole time I thought you were Samwise to my Frodo. But you’re just… Boromir!” 

“ I don’t know who the FUCK that is!”

 “ ‘I don’t know who Boromir is’, that’s such a Boromir thing to say!” 

“ Let’s just say I’m going to give him/her a little something extra with my hand.”

“ S/He’s motherfucking peanut butter and jealous! 

“ You’re hairy! You’re so hairy like a bear! Your nipples are so pink! “

“  Maybe 'the media’ is manipulating you! “

“That bitch is as blind as a bat! “

“ I have no comment on Margaritas.”

“ Welcome to the jungle, baby, welcome to the jungle. Na na na knees.”

🔱 Do you want a 

S U G A R  C  U B E ? 🔱

I haven't dealt in anything as common as money in years...

(  an  assortment  of  dialogue  prompts  that  are  a  mix  of  horror,  humor,  and  happy  hauntings!  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ you say beetlejuice three times. and i’ll say candyman five times. then we get them to fight. ❜

❛ that’s your face? oh, i thought it was a mask. ❜

❛ if you ever get scared, you can hold my hand. ❜

❛ how late do you think the blood bank stays open? ❜

❛ what slasher do you think you could take? in a fight, i mean. ❜

❛ and the walls will ooze green slime?! wait, they always do that. ❜

❛ holy shit, you should have seen the look on your face! ❜

❛ these pumpkins may be tiny, but they give so much serotonin. ❜

❛ on halloween we dress as skeletons. but in reality, skeletons dress as us. ❜

❛ do you believe in ghosts? ❜

❛ i think we’re being followed. ❜

❛ well, one of us is going to have to change. ❜

❛ don’t tell me you’re afraid of the dark. ❜

❛ we’re not alone. ❜

❛ i see dead people. ❜

❛ i said, look behind you. ❜

❛ do you think ghosts ask if they believe in humans? ❜

❛ i heard the houses here give out huge candy bars. ❜

❛ it’s like we’re too old to trick or treat and too young to die. ❜

❛ hey you need a… hand? ❜

❛ halloween is the perfect day to hide a body in plain sight. ❜

❛ it’s just a mask, don’t worry! ❜

❛ have you picked out a costume yet? ❜

❛ i can read your fortune. it says you’re a nerd. ❜

❛ get in loser, we’re going to spirit halloween. ❜

❛ did that ghost just spell ‘get out’ wrong? ❜

❛ if you can’t summon the flames directly from hell, store bought is fine. ❜

❛ if a zombie apocalypse started on halloween, it would take a while to realize. ❜

❛ you frightened me. do it again. ❜

❛ wanna see something scary? ❜

❛ i came here expecting a trick, but you’re a real treat. ❜

❛ i don’t think we should be here. ❜

❛ maybe i’ll summon a demon so i can hang out with someone. ❜

❛ what i want to be for halloween is loved. ❜

❛ what’s your favorite scary movie? ❜

❛ i’ve seen enough horror movies to know where this is going. ❜

❛ some people have swimming pools, other people have private cemeteries. ❜

❛ they really need to add bloopers at the end of horror movies. ❜

❛ you alright? you look like you’ve seen a ghost. ❜

❛ that’s fake blood, right? ❜

❛ i could have sworn we were just here. ❜

❛ do not say we should split up. ❜

❛ did the eyes in that painting just move? ❜

❛ i think it’s found us. ❜

❛ scared? i’m not scared. ❜

❛ you can’t help the dead. they’re beyond help. ❜

❛ whatever you do, don’t look behind you. ❜

❛ i think i’m getting pretty good at this pumpkin carving business. ❜

❛ the scariest thing about halloween is that rent is due the next day. ❜

❛ …and they were never heard from again. ❜

❛ i know this isn’t your area of expertise, but is this guy dead? ❜

❛ why does that grave have your name on it? ❜

as requested by a powerfully patient and endlessly lovely nonnie!! there will be more lists like this, because frankly, parenthood is a whole theme park of roller coasters with unique challenges and milestones in each of them! but these are for parents who have recently become parents to a newborn! i also have requests for prompts based on foster families and adopted children, but i'd like to do my own research before i dive too deeply into those, because obviously the rules vary from country to country, but i digress! i sincerely hope you all enjoy these! unclench your jaw, drink some water, roll back your shoulders! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST PLEASE!!

" if you waken that baby, so help me god, there won't be a corner of the universe that will protect you from my wrath. "

" do you wanna hold him/her/them? here, it's okay! just support the neck like... yeah, there you go! you got it! "

" no, no, it's okay, i'm not going anywhere. the baby spit up on everything i own except this sparkly little number, so i'm waiting for the washing cycle to end until i can change out of this! come on in. "

" i don't think i've had a full night's sleep since the baby came along. "

" i'm gonna train this kid, night and day, until they say my name before yours. that's my goal. my name is gonna be their first word. "

" i love my baby. more than i ever dreamed possible! but they've kept me awake since the second they were born! i seriously need a nap... could you keep an eye on them until i wake up? just twenty minutes, i promise you! "

" it kinda feels like every single person in the world suddenly has a PhD in parenting to make me feel incompetent with. "

" i think our sweet angel's gonna be a rock star with that set of lungs! "

" we need a new babysitter. preferably one who won't read rosemary's baby to our newborn. "

" god, they're so precious when they're asleep... can you believe we're that kid's parents?! "

" how can something so tiny go through a billion diapers every single day?! "

" they smiled at me today! actually smiled, i swear! that baby is a genius! and no, it wasn't trapped gas, before you say it. "

" that darling child ripped a fistful of my hair out today, so if you see a bald spot, now you know why it's there. "

" shh... shh, honey, it's okay. the baby woke up, but i'm handling it. you just go back to sleep now, okay? "

" i was thinking... if, for whatever reason, i'm not able to take care of the baby, i was wondering if you might be okay with being their legal guardian? "

" so pre-schools aren't only super competitive, they've also got some insanely high standards now, too! one of them won't even let me bring my car in unless it's completely emission-free! "

" the baby has a remarkably dark sense of humour. they only seem to laugh when i stub my damn toe on the crib at 4 in the morning. "

" we had a somewhat violent reaction at the diaper station this morning. so that meant i had to bathe and change the little cherub twice in ten minutes, and then go take another shower and find new clothes unscathed by infant vandals again. "

" he/she/they have your eyes. and your batshit insane sleep schedule. "

" you know what really pisses me off? when people act as though new parents have it easy. like a newborn is the easiest thing in the world to handle. i'd like to see them make coffee, change a diaper and fold a onesie one-handed! "

" isn't it so crazy that this tiny little human, who can't even hold their own head up yet, might be like, a president or something one day? "

" i'm really sorry, i know we had plans tonight, but i literally just got the baby to sleep and all i wanna do is lie down and eat the leftovers of a bag of potato chips until i fall asleep. i haven't showered all week, i can't remember the last time i wore clean clothes, and... it's just not gonna work out tonight. "

" i figured you wouldn't have much time to cook, what with the baby and all. so i decided i'd bring a lasagna and some groceries over to you, and i can keep an eye on the little one while you take a nice hot shower and eat your dinner in peace! "

" hey... relax. i promise you, the babysitter can handle it for a few hours! and if they need you, they've got your phone number, right? so just... take a night off. sit back. enjoy yourself. the baby is fine, i promise you! "

" you know, if you guys wanted a date night, i could mind the baby for you? "

" i swear, this baby is the freaking jackpot of excuses to not attend all those events! all the times i wanted to throw sharon's awful hummus at her face during those dinner parties, and now i don't even have to go anymore, all because of this beautiful, wonderful little baby! "

" i mean, sure, sometimes i'm crying 24/7 and i don't know what the hell i'm doing! but then i'll tickle the baby's little foot and they'll laugh for thirty minutes, and it just makes me so insanely, immeasurably happy! "

" what do you think? will we try for baby number two? make this little angel a big brother/sister/sibling? "

" i need a night out. please. i'm begging you. i cannot sing another single note of baby shark! please, even a trip to the grocery store would do! "

" god, couldn't you just sit and watch them sleep forever? "

" oh god, he/she/they're crying! the baby's crying! oh man, is that a hungry cry or a diaper cry?! talk to me, little baby! "

" i cannot believe we just paid four figures for a cradle when the baby won't even sleep unless they're in our arms... "

" you know, that little baby is so freaking lucky to have you as their mom/dad/parent. "

" a-actually, maybe you better keep holding them. i mean, what if i hurt them by accident? or what if i scare them? babies don't like me, they never have! "

" you know, i always thought newborn babies looked like potatoes. but this kid is pretty darn cute! "

" i believe congratulations are in order. where's the new addition? "

" i never realized how expensive diapers were until now... "

" mm... honey, the baby... the baby's crying. wake up, baby, go help the baby... "

" nice try, but i got the baby the last time. it's your turn now. probably a diaper change, too, by the sound of it. "

" how can someone so tiny drink so much freaking milk?! "

" i wish people would quit acting like parenting experts every single time they see me. believe it or not, i do know what i'm doing! "

" some stranger on the bus decided to let me know i was a terrible mother/father/parent for not choosing to raise the baby on a vegan diet. "

" did you think of any baby names yet? or is this sweet little angel still anonymous? "

" i'm thinking we should decorate the nursery while the baby's still napping. i got the paint in my car; what do you think? "

" this baby is officially more extroverted than me! every single person we met in the park, this socializing star was waving and smiling at them like crazy! "

" oh my god, remember that little blanket you gave us when the baby was born? yeah! they refuse to go to sleep without it now, it's the cutest thing ever! "

" oh, i took the most adorable photo of the baby yesterday while they were sleeping! wanna see? "

" i don't think you need to worry about your parenting skills. 'cause that little baby in there is the happiest, luckiest kid in the whole world just by having you in their life. they might not know it yet. but they are. "

" well, according to the principal at the last pre-school, we should have been booking placements before the baby was even conceived. "

" i wonder what kind of life this baby will grow up to live? "

" you're such a natural with the baby! he/she/they love you so much already; look how they're gazing up at you! "

" i'm so sorry, but we're gonna have to leave early; the bottle leaked all over my bag, and it's feeding time now, so it's either leave early or unleash a screaming infant on you! "

" would you mind holding the baby for a minute while i go grab my stuff? "

" don't judge, but we were out of clean onesies, so i dressed the baby in that huge old t-shirt you got at that concert five years ago. if i'm being honest, it suits them! "