no one can touch me

“you think i want to be me? i don’t want to be doing this. i don’t want to teach, i don’t want to have the emotional capacity of an orange, and i don’t want to have to be the one that has to discipline you and teach you how to do this so you don’t have to go to the guard academy, but here we are.” he caught his breath, words overflowed akin to a waterfall. he had said too much, but at the same time, it might’ve been what zenix needed to hear.

dale would’ve been a better teacher. red would’ve been a better teacher. but the duty had fallen to him, when he could barely remember anything other than perfection. zenix deserved more patience, more time, and more experience doing this.

“Your emotional baggage isn’t my problem.” He wouldn’t normally say something so cold, but he was far too angry at what all had been said to care right now. He knew he would regret it later, but it didn’t stop the heartless words coming out of his mouth.

“I don’t want to do it. I didn’t from the very beginning, I just wasn’t given a choice,” he hissed, “I didn’t want to disappoint you, but you think nothing I do is okay, much less good, and I’m sick of it.”

“first try?” the words were quiet, but the man was seething. this? this was patience. this was unwavering patience that he had offered for too long, compared to his own training. “i’ve given you time to get it right, i’ve given you chances to work with it, and yet you continue to ignore what i say and act like it’s my fault you won’t work to understand a concept.” his words grew louder as he continued, balled fists clenching.

“you haven’t been punished for not getting it right, you’ve been told what you’re doing wrong, and ways you can fix it.”

“You think it’s ignoring you when I’m just bad at it!” He hated being a guard, he hated having to listen to Garroth’s every word and try to replicate what he was good at because he knew he couldn’t hold a candle to Garroth’s abilities. 

He hated he couldn’t, but he hated more that that was expected from him.

he was going to kill zenix. maybe not entirely true, but it was the first thought that popped into his head he was going to kill this child for disregarding eerything he had done, and the work he had put into creating things for him, because he didn’t want to train, or deal with the criticism he got.

a flash of blade before the sword is shoved back into its sheath. he wouldn’t be the man that had turned him into the one seeking perfection today. he could let it go.

unless his mouth got the best of him.

“if you leave it here you aren’t sleeping in the house.”

“Fine. Fine.” He retaliated, taking a step back and throwing his hands in the air. “You can come find me when you’re ready to stop demanding I do things exactly the way you want me to do them first try.”

“pick up your sword.” firm words with steeled eyes. his hands lay where they were a second ago, everything besides his lips as still as they could possibly be. it was irrational, he knew, to be this upset, this F R U S T R A T E D with  the teen, but enough had been enough.

if he was gong to leave, the least he could do was take care of the things that had been created for him. this included the sword that now lay at garroth’s feet. inhale. exhale. the knight couldn’t take this personally. 

it couldn’t be personal. it couldn’t be something that was a personal flaw on his part, it couldn’t be that zenix hated him. or hated everything about this.

“then you can leave.”

“No,” he fired back furiously, whipping around to face him. Hi eyes were blazing, angry, and his arms trembled with emotion. He was so incredibly tired of being told what to do. 

grit teeth and closed eyes were his response. the knight’s grip tightened on his sword, his posture straightened, and he knew there that if he didn’t control himself he most likely wouldn’t have a son. a deep breath. an exhale.

he stood, grip still strong on the hilt of his sword. his eyes remained closed, and he continued his mantra of needing to control himself. garroth wasn’t about to lose it for this utter lack of respect or understanding, no.

zenix would understand what he was told. and he would get right back into his position. a swift movement and garroth sheathes his sword at his side, hand settling again firmly on the hilt, free hand laying in a fist at his side.

“i dont think you understand a single thing I’ve told you. if you want to be recognized for trying, maybe you should find something else productive to do, where something that isnt perfect can’t get you killed.”

“Oh, I don’t remember asking you to train me. Or make me a guard.” The annoyed tone was gone now and replaced with snark, almost mockingly as both of his hands rested on his hips.

No, he wasn’t going to do this. Not at least for today and maybe not to tomorrow depending on how the rest of this conversation went. Garroth wasn’t in a good mood and neither was he.

the tone didnt go unnoticed by garroth, but he couldn’t acknowledge it exactly. a screaming fit wasn’t the goal, and he had already had to calm himself down. he could ignore it, for now.

the knight settled into the familiar stance, arms loose, grip firm as he unsheathed his sword. it was a comfortable weight in his hands, and eyes closed as he settled. shoulders square but not tense, arms ready for movement. zenix was focused, yes, but wasn’t anticipating things.

‘loose isn’t slouching.’ the words came out as a whip, slapping harshly against the boy’s efforts. however unintended it was, it was a painful sound. they were harsh, critical, and denying the fact that he had even tried.

Was it so hard to appreciate the fact he was trying? Anger boiling in his core, his hands trembled on the handle as red threatened to cloud his vision. When he wasn’t trying, he was yelled at and when he was trying, he was yelled at.

No more of this. Screw it.

Throwing the sword down as hard as he could, it clattered to a stop on the ground in front of Garroth’s feet. His hands were in fists at his sides, arms shaking as he balled his fingers up and grit his teeth.

"I feel like we're about to die or something."

"He's trying to make me put my hand down—do you see this right now?"

"I do actually still have feelings."

"You can't have non-binding promises."

"DO we know that Diet Pepsi exists?"

"Remember, I'm older than dirt."

"You better start loving them."

"Do dead people count?"

"You're a foolish hedonist."

"If you can't see me next week because you're dead then I get it, I understand."

"You can use them to open shit."

"Don't be fucking sexist."

"Enough of this natural crap."

"I'm not sure I'm not gonna kill you."

"You grew up differently than I did."

"Some days I'll get up and try to make you some food."

"I know you're not talking about jazz."

"I'm so sorry I ever said orgasm."

"You're still just a little kid just in big kid clothes."

"Maybe I'm not supposed to be eating apples."

"I have a high regard for myself, that's why i don't like this whole suffering thing."

"I'm just not gonna kill people."

"You wanna make meaningful eye contact and nod deceptively?"

"It either wasn't a promise or you're a crazy person."

"I can't read what I wrote."

"They don't care what we feel like—I'm scared."

"What if God just wanted to laugh at you?"

"You've been basically reliable."

"No one's ever died from a music class."

"What happens if I suck on this?"

"I'm not telling you to kill your husband."

"Are we supposed to include those in the plans for reproduction?"

I thought about not replying to this, because it’s so utterly fucking stupid, it shouldn’t be dignified with a response, but i don’t get this kind of shit often so I thought it’d be fun to poke holes in everything you’ve said.

First of all, I want to point out you said all this on anon to someone you don’t know and who doesn’t know you. Good job, you’re a fucking wimp. And calling someone a freak on the internet must make you feel like a big man.

Second, her “original characters”, when nearly everything in the series was referenced or taken from another series or game or something. Also, nowhere do I claim Zenix as my own character. Don’t assume shit.

Third, “sexualizing Zenix”. I have on my about page that his age is verse dependent. He’s only been a minor early season 1 verse in which I’ve rped nothing inappropriate. In fact, the only nsfw rps i’ve done on this blog are almost 2 years old and were done in the modern verse where zenix is 20.

If you really want to know what sexualization is, I suggest taking a hard look at all the sexual euphemisms and implications throughout MCD, which should I remind you is aimed at children? There’s literally an episode where it’s implied (and the creators confirmed) that two characters had sex. 

Not to mention, she literally made a post here on tumblr talking about what characters have had sex in the mcd canon and then encourages fans to make nsfw content. But no, i guess that’s fine because it’s the series creator, right?

And finally, what “underage kids” are you talking about me rping with? I’ve only rped with like 3 people in the last 2 years, two of which were over 18, and i haven’t written nsfw content with any of them.

             a sharp ache in his chest, and he can’t breathe. this hadn’t happened in dreams before. furrowed brows settle on his forehead until panic starts to set in, hands starting to grasp at his throat.

            black filled his vision, but he didn’t feel skin underneath his hands, instead something softer. a gasping breath, and he digs his fingers into the soft object, ripping it away. his eyes flickered open, sight settling on the intruder. this was real.

             this was real. 

             the other person was pushed across the room, a harsh shove and his panic causing him to sit back against the headboard.

He really should have seen it coming, given the other man was much bigger than him and obviously much stronger and he wouldn’t take kindly to nearly suffocating in his sleep. It was a natural reaction and he should have predicted it.

But he didn’t. There was a yelp and the young teen was thrown across the room, thankfully landing on the soft carpet, but quite harshly, scraping his hands and hissing under his breath.

           the sound had penetrated his dream, furrowed brows betraying the concern. while he lay motionless, on the bed, sleep still consuming him, his mind played tricks. 

           creaking floors, and a dark tunnel, his footsteps slowly following the walls. it continued to narrow, light beginning to dim as the creaking got louder. it was strange. the dream had occurred before, himself able to make it further and further down into the tunnel, but the creaking was new, and unexpected.

           perhaps it was a sign of something to come? he had never used dreams before as a way of revealing something, and even now he wasn’t going to, but the addition of the creaking was strange. even how the light at the end began to flicker, was strange. a frown, and he walks forward, the flickering starting to end, and his own breathing, he noted, began to stutter.

            this wasn’t right.

His movements faltered for just a moment, realizing he had gotten no real reaction and the man must be in a very deep sleep to have no been woken up. In that moment, he reconsidered his actions just for a moment, loosening his grip on the edge of the pillow.