Split my writing/supernatural sideblog (captainangua - still the same on Ao3) to have a blog just (or at least mostly) about Sam Winchester, who always needs more love and attention and angry rants flung into the internet on his behalf.
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yeah, that fuckin cunt, uh, Snowbell, tried to fuckin eat me. what? no, no im not- im not driving that fucking dumbass boat for your stupid little race George, what am i, a- a- a- fucking, action figure? im a living breathing mouse, dude
Okay Iâm back. If youâve read this post of mine, youâll very quickly see where Iâm about to go. If you havenât then strap in. Iâve got Thoughtsâ˘
Not to be clichĂŠ, but I was laying in bed thinking about how Sam Wilson flies so well. His hovering capabilities and how he can get so much of the wings to twist and bend at his will when his arms only cover such a small amount of them, that kind of stuff.
And then I thought, âwhat if Sam had some sort of spinal dock/haptic link embedded in his spine that allowed him to control his wings as if they were other limbs?â
Imagine it. The U.S. and the army have a habit of testing shit on their people - especially black people. Take a look at syphilis research. So, Sam becomes one of those people. Heâs half into it, he thinks that heâs gonna get to test out new aircraft and become some sort of hero (which, he is, just not how he intended). Fast forward six months and heâs walking out of the medbay with what might as well be a second spine. Heâs got a big ass scar down the middle of his back, and silver knobs peek through his skin at every vertebra.
He feels used at first, and he still does later, but what changes is the fact that he owns it. They swear that heâs their very own piece of machinery, fit to bend at their will. But heâs the one that controls those wings, heâs the one that does those amazing things, those maneuvers.
He tells them as much when he leaves. Heâs lucky they donât throw him in jail for that time he went off grid with the EXO-7. The only reason they donât is because they lost Riley, and they need Sam.
He still keeps an eye on those wings though. As soon as Cap gives him a reason to go after them again he does, because with that extra spine, heâs got a case of ghost limb in the shape of two big ass wings.
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Sometimes Dean has imagined what the words would sound like in Casâ mouth.
Cas is blunt, taciturn at the best of timesâif he and Cas ever made it to a point where they could be honest with each other, maybe he would just bite it out like something annoying, like the way he complains about having hiccups or being unable to stop laughing several minutesâ after the joke has been made. Then again, there are those moments when Cas treats him gently, when he crowds into Deanâs space to murmur truths that Dean isnât ready to hear yet. Maybe it would be like that. Maybe Cas would speak softly. Maybe his voice would crack.
When Cas whispers, âI love you,â it doesnât sound like anything Dean imagined. It sounds awful. It sounds like goodbye.
#I liked this #I liked it a lot #because Sam IS encouraging #he wants to be able to talk to Dean about stuff #but no chick flick moments #so he takes care of everyone in little ways #he tells the chick who is heavy and sweaty that he knows she is working hard #he smiles at these people and is happy #He is a recovering addict #WHO HAS BEEN POSSESSED #of COURSE sam is careful about his body #he is going to exercise as much control over it as he can #and lovely human that he is #he probably wants that for âhis classâ (via @winchestersandwordprocessors)
Hey so I signed up under captainangua for the fandomtrumpshate auction so if anyone would like a Sam related fic that will bring money to places the dumb orange fascist does not want it to go to, go bid for me :) I'm not a big wincest fan, but I'm pretty open on all ship and au ideas, and I love finding ways to give Sam a dog.
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Ridiculous as it seemed, Dean really did show up the next night. When he hadnât seen any sign of him all day as Jess tried to tell him that Brady had gone and disappeared again, Sam started to wonder if the timetraveller had missed a trick and that his brother wasnât coming. It would make a lot more sense â Dean surely didnât have any more reason to drop in visiting now anymore than he had at any point over the last few years thereâd been no word for him.
Donât let Dean keep hunting on his own for long. Bring him back, bring him home, whatever you have to do. He wonât survive out there alone for long and if he does it wonât be as anything worth saving.
Sam had tried his best for so long not to think about the horror of his old life, the same horror his family were still out there facing every day. If Sam hadnât learned to block out thinking about it too much heâd have gone insane years ago. For all he knew either or both his father and brother could be dead by now. They didnât live a forgiving lifestyle, even when they werenât hunting â which was one more reason Sam had had for leaving. The last thing he wanted in life was to never quit looking over his shoulder and worrying about himself or the people he cared about.
But here he was now, sitting up not sleeping with a gun in his hand, with one apparently demonic friend dead and some vague and terrifying prophecies handing over his head, waiting for what he hoped would be his brother.
Continue on Ao3
And how was he supposed to react even if Dean did walk through that door? If he hadnât known he might be coming, without any warning, any invitation, Sam might have been angry with him. But this waiting time to think about was only making him increasingly nervous. Assumedly if Dean was coming it meant he wanted to see him, butâŚ
The hand that wasnât holding his gun gripped his phone a little tighter. He wanted to try calling him, or at least try calling the last number he had for him, but it was probably ridiculous. Dean probably wasnât even coming and if he saw the caller ID he wouldnât even bother picking up.
Sam had asked him to come with him, to get out too, and Dean hadnât given him so much as an email in four years.
Sam sighed and gave a sidelong glance to his bedroom door where he knew Jess would be sleeping by now. Sheâd made a cute Halloween nurse, and one day she was going to make a cuter doctor.
He should be in there beside her already â or else start doing something beside waiting⌠But where did you even start on lore for timetravel, or demons? Especially when Sam was trying very hard to stop dwelling on the implications of a timetraveller apparently trying to stop his life following one trajectory. It was the sort of thing people talked over in philosophy class about Hitler.
Or maybe it was some kind of Sarah Conner deal and the guy was trying to stop Sam doing something good â but then why wouldnât he have just killed him?
A scratching noise at the door had Sam sitting bolt up to attention again. He definitely wasnât imagining things â that was someone trying to pick through all the locks on the door.
Sam had told Jess he wanted to get the chair fixed and she said he worried too much.  Ha. He should go wake her up just to â wait, what was he thinking? He didnât want her involved in this. Whatever this wasâŚ
Sam cocked the gun quietly as he waited. If this was Dean heâd gotten a lot faster at this than he used to beâŚ
When Sam finally watched his brotherâs shoe step out into the dark hallway with a childishly wide grin spreading over his face, Sam had to shake his head. Sam knew that smile. Dean was clearly so proud of himself that heâd done so well in getting in without anyone there to catch him. He never allowed himself to break any of their Dadâs big rules, so any small acts of rebellion in a general sense always put him back to a place of glee.
âYâcould have just knocked,â Sam said, trying to force his voice up from a low croak.
Dean blinked and turned to look to where Sam was standing behind the door, gun still in hand and starting to smile despite himself.
âJesus, fuck, when dâyou get so tall, Sammy?â
âItâs Sam,â Sam corrected, not able to muster up any heat behind the words. For a moment all they did was stare at each other, more awkward that Sam could ever remember either of them being, before finally Dean said something.
âI had this whole plan worked out about, yâknow, getting in late and breaking in to surprise you.â
âI guessed. Well, that -â
âDidnât work, yeah, I know.â For a moment Sam was worried his brotherâs face was about to shut down and turn hard and cold on him when instead Dean broke out into another smile and let his hands fall relaxed at his sided. âGuess you ainât as rusty as I figured youâd be. And câmere already.â
Starting to smile along too despite himself, Sam ruefully walked into his older brotherâs open arms and clutch tight onto the familiar leather of that jacket.
Nothing left worth savingâŚ
No, not that, never that.
And Sam wasnât sure if heâd stopped worrying about the strange prophecies or if heâd just become certain that he wouldnât let them come true but Sam suddenly felt more relaxed than he had in almost two days.
âHey, nice place by the wayâŚâ Dean said, pulling away to glance around him.
âThanks,â Jess said, stepping out behind Dean and managing to look deeply wary in her sleepiness, her ruffled hair still framing her face as though sheâd planned it. She looked at Sam, half shrugging as she asked, âWho?â
âBrother,â said Sam.
âHis brother,â Dean tried to answer at the same time.
âAnd he couldnât have⌠called first? Oh wait,â added, clicking her fingers slightly as she leant her head back on the doorframe. âI forget. This is the family that hasnât called once in uh, how many years?â
âOh, trust me sister that went more than one way, and Iâm here myself because I like bringing bad news in person,â Dean told her, shifting slightly as he stood and added slightly more bite to his smile.
âBad news? What king of bad news?â Sam thought he could guess, but he still had to ask.
âWell, the kind where Dadâs on a hunting trip, and -â
*
It was harder to say no than Sam had expected. Heâd wondered sometimes as a kid how it made sense that on some levels theyâd always understood each other personally, when at other times Sam felt as though he might as well talk in a foreign language for all the good it did trying to talk to Dean about something important. That night as Dean got back in his car felt like that, not helped, Sam knew, by the fact that he couldnât tell Dean the real reason he didnât want to go anywhere.
For Dean, he just couldnât understand why Sam wouldnât even bother giving the man whoâd raised them a weekend at least of time, or say anything but babbling reasons of why Dean should stay.
âCâmon, youâve barely ever been to California-â
âAnd howâd you figure that? Timeâs been passing while youâve been here-â
â-And youâve never met Jess-â
âI got the subtle hint that she didnât like me much, Sammy-â
â-And Dadâs been gone longer than he said heâd be hundreds of times before -â
âNot like this he hasnât,â Dean looked Sam hard in the eye from the other side of the Impalaâs familiar gleaming hood, his jaw set. There was that look Sam had been afraid of turning up. âHe was getting close this time, he was -â
Close. Close to the creature that had apparently started everything in making Sam â what?
Why couldnât Sam have gotten five more minutes to ask questions?
âJust come with me to follow this one lead, Sam. Help me track him down, find out what happened to him.â
âIâm not -â Sam hesitated, surprised at how much Deanâs words were affecting him, at the part of him that wanted to leave with him. âIâm not leaving Jess, Dean. Sheâs been⌠threatened.â
âThreatened? Like human threatened or like our kind of threatened?â Dean asked, suddenly focused. There was a more confident air to the way he asked a question, too. He sounded like he was a professional and believed that.
âIâm not sure,â Sam said slowly. âBut I know Iâm not leaving her alone up there.â
âWell bring her with us then.â
âYouâre not seriousâŚâ
âWhy not? If sheâs in danger she should start learning how to defend herself on her own. And if you want this to go long term she deserves to know who you are, and you deserve to know what she thinks of that.â
The sudden passion in Deanâs voice shocked Sam and for a moment he wasnât sure how to react, could even see himself imagining a scenario with Jess getting into the Impala with them, to drive off with a gun in her handâŚ
âNo,â Sam said, finally certain. âI wonât do to her what Dad did to us. I canât be that selfish.â
âWhat, itâs selfish to help out your family now?â
Sam didnât answer. âYou could do this alone, Dean.â
âYeah, well. Maybe I donât want to.â
The vulnerability in his brotherâs eyes was so jarring Sam almost got into the car beside him on that alone.
âIâm sorry, Dean.â
*
Dean had been right, it was a strangely nice feeling that Jess knew a little more about his life, even if it was only the basics of his father being missing and that his brother was still pissed off at him. But it helped him get through sending texts and calls after Dean to no response, demanding to know what was going on, what had happened with the lead, that if he was driving this far west any time soon they had a spare bed and a party coming upâŚ
Sam got one response after a week of his aggressive campaign.
Still alive, no word on Dad. Found his journal. You get to that interview?
It was almost nothing, but it was more than Sam had been expecting, and Jess had to tease him for the rest of the day that she had literally never seen him write a reply so quickly to anything in his life.
It wasnât like they talked all the time after that, but they kept in contact, which was better than the radio silence of before, and it made Sam start to hope that maybe one day he really would be able to Bring him homeâŚ
Then one day he actually got a call from his brother.
âDean?â
âYou have a laptop, right?â
âUh, sure. Dean what -â
âI need you to some light digging for meâŚâ
Out of habit Sam wanted to start saying no, but he could recognize the mild panic in Deanâs voice. Dean was in trouble, and Sam was currently all the cavalry he had to call on.
And besides, he wasnât doing a lot of sleeping currently, not with his dreams getting so much worse.
âWhat do you need, Dean?â
âYâgot anything on the internet there about wendigos?â
âWendigos.â
âI know you heard me right, donât give me that.â
*
For months they kept on like that, talking when they needed each other, and, as time went on, that seemed to get more frequent. It was clear that Dean was lonely, and liked having someone there to be able to call on, especially when heâd still heard nothing from their Dad. Occasionally heâd try asking Sam to join him on a case â and occasionally, as happened with Samâs friend framed for murder by a shapeshifter, Sam would actually give him cases to work on.
But Sam never left â heâd made his decision and heâd stuck to it, though Sam had no proof now no matter how hard he searched to suggest that the stranger whoâd warned him not to had even existed. And Sam never stopped needling at his brother to come back and visit, properly this time.
âCome have Christmas in a home for once,â Sam begged. Now that Jess knew what questions to ask he was opening up more, about Dean, at least, and even she was starting to like the idea of actually getting to know him. But Dean always brushed off those suggestions, sometimes even becoming actively hostile and hanging up the phone on Sam whenever he brought it up.
But when Sam let him know that heâd finally asked Jess to marry him Dean called him immediately and promised to start drinking on Samâs behalf.
âI want you at that wedding, Dean,â Sam admitted to him, hearing the line go quiet. âAnd⌠and Iâd like you to be best man.â
Dean stayed quiet a few moments before whistling out. âMan, you did not make many friends in college, didja?â
âDean.â
âIâll think about it, Sammy.â
Sam didnât hear from Dean again for three weeks, when he unceremoniously buzzed at their apartment door on Christmas Eve and looked a little surprised that anyone had even answered, but covered it well.
âI, uh⌠I figured Iâd announce myself this time,â Dean said, scratching at the back of his head with the hand not holding a large green wreath.
It was a little awkward at first, having their first Christmas alone together with Samâs brother whoâd mostly only ever been a story to Jess, but the alcohol Dean had ran out to get as Christmas presents that morning helped smooth things along, to the point where Sam started to be afraid to leave his brother and fiancĂŠ in a room together for fear of what they might tell each other.
âAnd Sam had this imaginary friend as a kidâŚâ Dean started as the doorbell rang again.
âOk, ok, weâre not going here.â
Jess grinned, looking between the brothers with an expression Sam wasnât sure how to name. âI mean, much as I wanna hear this, I also wanna go pick up Samâs present.â
âThatâs it here?â
Jess smirked in a way that had Sam squirming.
âNot gonna lie, Iâm worried,â Sam admitted to Dean the moment she left the room.
Dean shrugged and retook his seat beside him slumped on their living room floor. âEh, she seems to have ok judgement, from what Iâve seen so far. Great cook. And smart girl letting you nowhere near that kitchen.â
Sam shoved at him. âLook⌠thanks for coming, man.â
Dean waved his look away with a hand. âPlease. Cut the Hallmark card short, you know Iâm not here for that. But⌠you were right, I didnât exactly have any better place to be.â
Watching the suddenly somber look on his brotherâs face Sam struggled to think of something to say to him when he heard the door open again, and moments later he was covered in something fluffy that was jumping at his back.
âYour face!â Dean shouted with a bark of laughter as Jess came in with a big smile.
âI know youâve been wanting one since we got our own place, and Amyâs dog had some puppies a few months back, soâŚâ
Sam finally managed to get a grip on what looked like a small black lab puppy and held him up to get a look at her face, only to have his face licked all over as she wriggled in his hands.
âJessâŚâ he breathed not taking his eyes off the little dog.
âI know I acted like I didnât want one, and I wasnât sure for years butâŚâ She shrugged and folded her arms around herself tightly. âFuck it, weâre getting married, right? Weâre like adults now, we can probably manage to not kill a dog.â
Something strange passed over Deanâs face then as Sam spared a glance away from the puppy to him, but it wasnât until later that night when they were saying goodbye that he understood what it had meant.
âI guessâŚâ Dean explained, he hands buried deep into his pockets as Sam walked him down the stairs and out. âI guess part of me still wasnât taking it seriously that this was like, your life.â
âDean, you knew I was getting marriedâŚâ
âWell sure, but now youâve likeâŚâ Dean glanced up at the apartment door theyâd just left behind them. âNow youâre like⌠building something. Iâm almost twenty-seven. What the hell am I building?â
Sam felt his face soften. âDean, youâve saved so many people.â
âYeah, I know.â
ââŚBut any time you wanna take a break from that? You know we got a spare bed here, Dean.â
Something of Deanâs cocky smile managed to return to his eyes as they made it outside and Dean looked back at him. âThanks. But uh, Iâm getting close now, I think.â
âWith Dad?â
âYeah, he called, not long before Christmas.â
Sam stiffened and moved a little closer. âWhatâd he say? Is he alright?â
Dean snorted and didnât look round. âOh, yâknow, he seemed fine. Gave me another case.â
Samâs jaw dropped open. âAfter all this time youâve been -â
âLeave it, Sammy,â Dean ordered, a growl to his voice. âAnd⌠Iâll call you some point in the New Year, alright?â
Dean called a lot sooner than Sam had been expecting. It wasnât even two weeks later that Sam picked up his phone at work only to hear his brother croaking out a â âHey, man, about that spare bedâŚâ
Both of Deanâs legs had been broken chasing a Rawhead, and apparently it was only by a miracle he hadnât been electrocuted within an inch of his life.
âI was this close, Sammy,â Dean insisted, as Sam and Jess helped haul him up their apartment block stairs.
âSo wait, how were you ending up in the position to be the only one to chase down a serial rapist again?â Jess asked, and Sam had to suppress a sigh as his brother started enthusiastically embellishing on his invented heroic adventure.
He was laid up for a few weeks in their spare room, getting antsy at not being able to move around while also clearly enjoying the novel experience of staying in one place and being looked after. Sam even came in one day from class and found Dean scratching at Sadieâs head, and despite his continued insistence he wasnât sure of dogs he seemed happy and uninterested in moving,
Which seemed to be the case in a more general sense too. Even after Dean started back on his feet again and started talking about leaving again he never quite managed it. And since Jess didnât seem to mind the extended stay, Sam decided not to mention it.
Not until he caught Dean on the phone to who he assumed could only be their Dad, having an increasingly angry conversation with him which ended in Dean storming out on his still unsteady legs and making Sam wonder if he was coming back at all.
But two days later, Dean told him he had a job interview and after that he stopped muttering about hitting the road again soon.
Two months later, he bought a guitar.
*
When Sam accepted tenure at Stanford Jess turned their house into something resembling the set-up of a small carnival. Hand-made banners their three small but industrious children had clearly helped her on adorned every room, and Sam examined all of them, smiling to himself as he walked in alone, listening to the very loud sounds of his family and the few friends whoâd arrived already in the kitchen. Since they still hadnât noticed his entrance above the din, Sam decided to take his time regarding the wobbling font on the largest banner hanging across the kitchen door.
Congratulations Professor Dad the inscription read, followed by the drawing of a book, and then a ghost emoji.
âLike the banner?â Dean asked as he walked over to him, holding out a champagne flute with an overemphasized flourish.
âI think literally the only thing sheâs used knowing about us for since she found out is making small and really bad cryptic jokes,â Sam said, taking the glass without looking away from the banner.
It had been difficult for Dean, as it had been for Sam, to give up hunting altogether, and the resulting fallout of one of Deanâs less successful ventures had been Jessâs rude introduction to the supernatural when a vampire followed Dean home back when they were all still crammed into the small student apartment together. After taking some adjustment time Jess, to Samâs relief, had been surprised he thought sheâd somehow blame him, and was grateful to be able to understand the men in her life a little better.
But she did enjoy making bad jokes out of knowing theyâd lived most of their young lives as ghostbusters.
âWell if she didnât take at least a small break from being gushy and proud of you thingsâd get boring, right? But hey, man, weâre all feeling pretty proud today. Cheers,â Dean finished, clinking his beer can up against Samâs glass.
Sam blinked. âIâm sorry, was that you just saying you were proud of me?â
âDonât startâŚâ
Sam suppressed a smile and took a drink. âSo did you bring your meatloaf?â
Dean shrugged. âI heard it was supposed to be a party.â
âDid you also bringâŚâ
âYeah?â
âThe⌠date you said you were gonna?â
Dean shifted his feet and fixed his eyes on the far corner of the ceiling. âHe said he might swing by later.â
While his brother was looking away from him Sam allowed himself a grin. âWell cool, itâll be good to meet him.â
âDonât be weird.â
âWhat?â
âDonât be⌠yâknow, you when you meet my dates.â
âIâm sorry, but the first time you met Jess youâd just broken into our apartment, I think I can -â
âAre you ever gonna let that go?â
As they stepped into the kitchen together, Sam was attacked by several small pairs of hands clinging to his legs, just as he registered that the dog was in the slow cunning process of running off with Deanâs meatloaf.
âUh â Jess? Jess the dog sheâs got -â
Holding up a wooden spoon like a lecturerâs pointer Jess spun around, her tied hair whipping around her as she turned on their old dog with fury.
âSadie!â
At Samâs feet his youngest, Gemma, started giggling. âMommyâs got her scary voice on.â
Dean laughed as he brought his beer can back up to his lips. âYeah, your Daddy got lucky there, he loves that kind of thing.â
Sam bit down on his lip to stop himself laughing, but as he looked around at the happy scene of his family around him he wondered for the millionth time how much luck had anything to do with it.
And he never could decide if that thought was unsettling or comforting.
*
Outside the Winchesterâs home, lit up with light in the winter darkness from the tenure party still continuing inside, the stranger whoâd once spoke to Sam about changing fate while mentioning nothing of luck watched from outside. Though it helped to be this close to see clearer, he didnât actually need to be there â he could see everything just from closing his eyes and focusing for a moment.
Heâd become very good at focusing his powers since his visions had first started, what felt like a different lifetime ago.
He always felt a strange mixture of emotions coming back here â a sort of strong second-hand happiness, while also feeling pride in himself for a project well-realised, but that mixed in just as equally with resentment. What had this Sam done to deserve anything he had gathered lovingly around him? Heâd never had to fight for what he had on anything greater than in an emotional, or academic sense.
But then maybe that was the point.
They had lived very different lives â maybe they werenât meant to understand each otherâs achievements.
âSo this is what youâve been working on out here. Cute, I guess, but⌠wow, getting a little creepy involved, donâtcha think?â
Pulling himself from the golden glow of his vision of the kitchen scene the stranger opened his eyes and then narrowed them at his brother, who was wearing his familiar knowing grin that tended to make his victims nervous long before he touched them.
âThis is my business, Dean,â Sam told his brother wearily, letting his eyes flash black a moment. It was more of a reflex now than an intimidation tactic, built from long hard years of keeping control of Hellâs throne.
Dean nodded his head slightly as he appeared to consider this and looked down at the house across from them. They were sitting in a neighbourâs garden, but Sam had ensured no oneâs eyes would focus there for long.
Suburbia tended to notice anomalies quickly, in Samâs limited experience of it.
âIs it?â Dean scratched at the back of his head thoughtfully. âOnly that guy in there looks an awful lot like me.â
Sam rolled his eyes but said nothing immediately. From no one else would he allow such blatant disrespect: the Boy King of Hell, they still called him, and they still said it with hushed respect in their voices - but the rules had always been different for Dean.
Thatâs why heâd dragged Dean down, or rather, along with him in the first place.
âDonât get me wrong,â Dean continued when Sam remained quiet. âI get it. Lemme guess, you went after Brady, right?â
Sam nodded slightly, then smiled up. âDonât you ever wonder about⌠how things might have ended differently?â
âNope,â Dean said, over pronouncing his âPâ. âNothing good comes that way. Or nothing simple anyway. Like, dude, time and space youâre messing with here â  just so you could go and create a whole happy pocket universe for yourself. It wasnât exactly a picnic following you back here I can tell you⌠So you gotta know all this is messed up. Like what is this to you, a petri dish experiment to come look in through the microscope at? Or did you just wanna know what your dead girlfriend would end up looking like as she pushed into her thirties?â
âLeave it, Dean.â
âAnd if this is about the kids, well, man, they have apps for your phone for that now if youâd just been trying to see what theyâd look like -â
âDean.â
Dean looked moodily off in the direction of the house. He usually listened to Sam, but he could be something of a law unto himself if Sam wasnât careful enough in his directions, and sometimes the demon had whims as strange as any of them.
âWhat made alternate me give up so easy, anyway? Like Iâve been watching this guy all day, and fuck, I think Iâm happier with my death and demonhood plotline. He plays guitar in hipster cafes on his nights off. He holds off swearing in front of the kids. Can we talk about that?â
Sam smiled slightly and still made no move to stand up. âYou got tired of waiting on Dad and being on your own.â
Dean scrunched his face into a scowl as he continued to stare down the house his other self was living in.
âYou thought it would turn out like that?â
Sam shrugged. âPretty much. Took longer than I thought actually.â
Dean continued staring. âAnd the old man?â
âDead,â Sam said. âThey donât know for sure, but they suspected when he quit trying to call them.â
âWas it yellow-eyes?â
Pushing his hands down into the cold grass, Sam got to his feet. âNo, werewolf actually. I got Azazel.â
Dean snorted. âHowâd it feel being the hero again?â
âHonestly? Not all that different. Speaking of which, since youâre hereâŚâ
Deanâs face flatlined. âWhat?â
â...From what I understand, there might be some angels coming in soon to mess things up here. Iâd appreciate your help in dealing with them. Or persuading them.â
Dean grinned slowly. âAngels, huh?â
âI thought it might be aâŚ. different kinda way to let off steam.â
âYou could call it that.â Dean smirked. âSure. Letâs go keep saving your bizarro science experiment.â
âThanks.â
Dean looked back again at the house that would still be showing him nothing more insightful than the inane walls outside, and Sam wondered where his brother would start, if he ever decided to make experiments of his own.
Multifandom Challenge  ||  13/100 Characters  ||  Sam Winchester
âł Â âListen to me. Youâve got this dark pit inside you. I know. Believe me, I know. But that doesnât mean you have to fall into it. You donât have to be a monster. It doesnât matter what you are. It only matters what you do. Itâs your choice.â
For romelwen in the BSGCâs secret santa - sorry itâs getting late! Especially since thereâs more coming because I am no good at quick payoff .
Hope everyoneâs having a good Christmas!
It was a two nights before Halloween of 2005 that Sam saw the stranger for the first time. The nights were starting to get as cool as they ever reached in California and he was out walking. Heâd spent the afternoon looking at rings again.
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It was strange, now he thought on it, that there was no one heâd told yet. But then in other ways⌠heâd always not told people what he was feeling. That had been drilled into him from a young age as surely as the idea he didnât tell the school what was really keeping his Dad busy most every Parentâs night.
He might tell Brady when he saw him the next day, but that still felt⌠wrong, somehow. Sam was closer to Brady than he was with any of his other friends up here, but mostly the person Sam wanted to tell was Jess⌠which, well, defeated the point.
Another night though, after heâd asked her, after sheâd, well, hopefully, said yes, then Sam would be happy to talk to Brady about it, maybe even ask him to be Best Man. But part of Sam still squirmed away from the idea of that too â some part of him had always assumed heâd have his brother back in his life by then to ask instead. It had been a very long time since Sam had seen Dean, or their Dad. He really was tragically alone in the world, as Jess so often put it, before sheâd grin and pull him closer.
It was one of the reasons he loved her so much â she noticed the things about him that were strange or sad and loved him for them.
Sam had almost made it home to her when he noticed the man following him and started to tense up slightly. He might have only taken on the very, very occasional hunt in his time alone, but the learned responses and training of his childhood still never really went away, even without the regular practice. It was a vigilance Sam remembered noticing in Dean for as long as he could remember, that now apparently he replicated to the extent that Jess referred to him as âtwitchyâ when they were out in public sometimes â âlike a lookout meerkatâ.
Tonight he felt like he had valid reasons for being twitchy. Being tailed for three deliberate detours was one too many. Even as he walked and focused on his breathing, Sam started mentally itinerating his pockets. On a good, or bad day depending on how you looked on it, Sam could be carrying a gun, a silver knife and a small bag of rock salt. Today had been a bad, or maybe a good kinda day, in that today his lined inside pocket was only holding his small knife, but Sam started clutching to it through the fabric like it was prayer beads as he risked a glance back and saw that his stalker was still walking at an unchanging 20ft behind him.
There was something oddly familiar in the way he was walking too and it bothered Sam almost as much as the stalking itself.
Sam was still only a ten minute walk from home, even with all of his detours, and the last thing he wanted to do was lead this guy back to Jess. Especially with all the dreams heâd been having lately⌠but then again maybe they were what was tricking him into paranoia of walking home alone.
Either way, he knew he wouldnât feel right about going home without finding out now, without knowing for sure.
Taking a quick steadying breath, Sam stopped walking and glanced back to see that his follower had done the same. Fuck, this was horrible. He wasnât used to feeling endangered and having no one there beside him to share that with.
After fumbling about his jacket pockets as though he was worried heâd forgotten something, Sam turned around and started speedwalking towards the stranger. He smiled briefly in the manâs direction â and the man was tall, maybe even taller than him â but got no response. So after feinting back slightly and checking again that there was no one else in the area Sam pushed his stalker into the wall.
âWhy are you following me?â Sam growled and got a low laugh in return from inside the large hood the stranger hadnât lifted yet. Keeping one arm pinning the strangerâs unresisting chest to the wall, Sam used his other hand to pull down the hood, only to find that he was wearing a balaclava which covered most of his face.
Feeling unimpressed, Sam rolled his eyes and made no move to attempt to remove this. âWho are you?â he pressed, injecting less of a growl into his voice this time.
âI could be a friend.â
âThatâs unhelpful.â
The stranger shrugged as well as he could while still restrained. âYes. Now would you mind telling me where it is you were going to meet your friend Tyson Brady for dinner tomorrow?â
Sam blinked rapidly before narrowing his eyes and pressing down a little harder. âHow do you know that and why would you think Iâd tell you?â
Sam couldnât see the strangerâs mouth under the balaclava but he felt sure that he was grinning at him. âBecause Iâm Asking You To.â
Sam blinked. He could⌠feel something behind the manâs word, and it was almost as frustrating as being followed by a buzzing noise without being able to see the fly, because Sam had no idea what the stranger was trying to do, or what he was to be trying something.
âWas that supposed to be significant?â
The stranger laughed again, but it sounded more like the proud grunt youâd give your dog that had learned a new trick rather than a mocking one this time.
âI didnât think that would work, but it seemed like worth a try. So Iâll guess Iâll do this the hard way and see you tomorrow.â
âOh yeah?â Sam didnât actually have a plan of what he was going to do, only that he didnât like the idea of this man who seemed to know so much about him get away. He was too solid to be a ghost, and a shifter wouldnât go to the effort of hiding their face. He would recognize Dean up this close, and he couldnât think of anyone else whoâd enjoy messing with him like this. Except maybe Brady himself, but this guy was too tall for that.
âYeah. But Iâll see you tomorrow,â the stranger said, and, much quicker than Sam had expected, managed to twist his way out of Samâs grip.
âHey!â
But the stranger only kept running, almost casually, before disappearing. Sam didnât know of anything able to do that, and he glared at the empty street for a few moments longer, frustrated at the melodrama of the exit.
Though he was sure now that he was alone, and that he might as well get home immediately, Sam took another few minutes to feel like he had his bearings, before walking around the block a few more times. It was almost another hour before he made it back, and Jess only murmured slightly in her sleep when he climbed into the bed next to her, breathing in deep the scent of her shampoo until he felt settled again. He wasnât certain why he hadnât raced home immediately to make sure the stranger hadnât come after her, but for some reason his gut told him he hadnât meant any harm to the girl Sam was finally holding in his arms again, or to him.
But that didnât mean he was able to sleep and let himself stop thinking about how he was going to handle the next day.
In the end he went over to Bradyâs house, after deciding that the stranger seemed to know too much about Sam already, or at least the area he was living. And Sam wasnât risking them going out in public together, but the last thing he wanted to do was leave his friend alone that night.
âMan, I know you had a⌠weird, childhood, right? But do you uh, need to talk about that? I mean Iâm just saying some of this shit was expensive, yâknow?â
Sam ignored Brady as he continued to line the familiar apartment with salt. He didnât think it would actually have any effect on the stalker he was becoming increasingly worried heâd dreamed, but it felt better to be safe than a dead idiot, as his Dad might have said once. It sounded like the sort of thing John Winchester would have said at least once anyway.
âAnd â I mean you said you didnât wanna go out because you wanted to watch the game indoors. But, Iâm sorry, when have you ever taken an interest in football?â
Sam shrugged and sat down on the couch, forcing his lips up into a smile as he regarded his friend carefully. âItâs a weird childhood thing,â he explained passively, wondering what was wrong with Brady.
Because that was always the flipside of the coin, wasnât it? If something was coming after a person specifically, there was going to have to be a reason for it, something theyâd done to deserve it. And, loyal as Sam wanted to be feeling as he awaited a potential attack on his friend, he didnât doubt that Brady had done something.
Sam was one of the only ones of their friends who even still spoke to him anymore: Brady had changed over the last few years, and Sam had always wondered if it had been something to do with the family he longer mentioned. But then sometimes⌠Brady was still himself, and Sam had a small enough group of friends he was able to think of as something like a found family to be determined not to lose any of them.
As it was they made it to half time of the game Sam was only half paying attention to when a strange jagged-edged knife lodged itself into Bradyâs chest, having flown into him from great force from across the room. Before Sam even had a chance to process that his best friend was dying on him, that heâd let this happen, that after everything he hadnât been good enough to save just this one person who mattered â he was going soft, just like theyâd said he would, just like heâd thought he wanted andâŚ
He started to notice that Tyson wasnât dying the way you expected a human being stabbed would.
Samâs eyes widened as he watched his friendâs body convulse horribly as it almost seemed to light up from the inside â like electrocution, only⌠there was an unmistakably supernatural level of weird in there too that made Sam want to roll his eyes even as he felt grief hit him.
Grabbing for the gun in his pocket Sam whirled around to see the stranger from the day before, still wearing the ridiculous balaclava, and under it, Sam was sure, a smile as well.
âYou donât want to use that, Sam. It wouldnât do you any good, anyway,â the man said, almost fondly as Sam felt his fingers pried off the handle of his gun and was forced to watch it falling to the floor against his will.
âWhat are you - some kind of witch? What the hell was Brady to you?â
The man sighed behind his mask, and his shoulders drooped heavily before he moved to take a seat in the armchair across from the couch and beckoned for Sam to sit down again as well.
âItâs more what he might have been to you, Sam.â
There was something about the way this guy said his name, Sam thought, he especially didnât like that. It was said with such familiarity, but no one he knew said his name like that.
âWell he was my friend, and you -â
âHe was going to kill Jess the night after tomorrow.â
Sam closed his mouth, and forced himself not to look back at the corpse still sitting up next to him.
âThatâs ridiculous. He -â
âIntroduced you to her, I know. Because he wanted to give you a weakness to exploit. A good plan, and not his. This was a lucky demon having a chance at doing a real favour for the lower downs to get their plan rolling for them.â
âA⌠a demon? Brady?â
The stranger put his face down in both of his waiting palms for a few moments, saying through them, âI almost canât stand listening to you even this much. Itâs like⌠ugh,â the man finished, shuddering his way back into a better posture.
âLook. Youâve guessed at it in bits and pieces already, because youâre not a complete idiot.â
Samâs scowled deepened by another small degree but he said nothing.
âYouâre dangerous. Your mother made a deal to let that happen, which is why you never got to know her. And now youâre starting to get the feeling that youâre several pickets short of a white fence, and youâre right â youâre never going to be normal. And not in the never had a hometown, donât speak to your family kinda sense - in the not human and a danger to the future of the world sense.â
Sam only clenched his jaw a little tighter, but he was thinking about his visions; thinking about the day heâd spent trying to work out if he really was hearing Deanâs voice when he concentrated hard.
Across from him, the stranger shrugged again. âYes, Iâm talking about the visions, but thatâs just the tip of the iceberg of what could be, of why all of hellâs going to be on campaign for your soul pretty soon. And it all starts with Jess dying, or⌠maybe Dean,â the stranger said, nodding to himself strangely as though trying to calculate something.
Sam didnât like the stranger saying any more names of people he cared about.
âYouâve got to keep them both close to you, and safe,â the stranger said slowly.
âAnd how am I meant to be doing that if Dean wonât talk to me?â Sam asked scathingly before he could think to stop himself. âAnd what am I meant to be exactly? If Iâm some sort of antichrist why arenât you going full terminator on me already?â
The strangerâs eyes lit up a little. âI am from the future.â
Sam shook his head. âI knew thatâs where you were going with this. Thatâs⌠going beyond dumb now, man.â
âYou donât believe me?â
âI donât know what I should be believing.â
âWell, believe this.â In that impossibly quick way of moving heâd used against Sam the day before he moved forwards and pushed Sam down into what was left of Brady. âIâll deal with this mess for you. Iâll make sure nothing else ever comes near you or your family. But you have to do some things for me. When your brother turns up tomorrow, you canât go with him. Heâs wrong, you wonât be able to find your father until he wants to be found, you might as well make your interview. Itâs probably important.â
Every time the stranger revealed he knew something else about Samâs life it made his skin crawl more than the touch of him pushing Sam down did.
âBut. Donât let Dean keep hunting on his own for long. Bring him back, bring him home, whatever you have to do. He wonât survive out there alone for long and if he does it wonât be as anything worth saving. And lastly, donât go darkside. Itâs dumb, and it wonât suit you.â
Sam tried to think of a response that would actually be able to sum up his feelings and somehow be simultaneously a good comeback but came up with nothing.
âDo you think Iâll manage all that?â was all he eventually asked.
âI think⌠You have a good shot. Take it. And if I catch you on some kind of insane hunterâs vengeance quest after me? Know that youâre giving up that good shot. Your choice.â
Sam hated it. Even if Brady hadnât been human, even if he had been trying to hurt Jess, this guy had still just killed his best friend in front of him, and all Sam wanted to do was believe his ridiculous pitch.
âIf youâre from the future and youâve come her to warn meâŚâ
âYes?â
âAre youâŚâ
âWhat?â
Sam held the otherâs gaze for a moment, focusing on the eyes a moment. It was tricky for eyes to lie, but these were still, and staring him down, and in⌠a familiar mix of colours that seemed to switch even as he stared up at them.
âNothing.â
âGood.â
Wordlessly, the stranger released Sam and let him get back to his feet and away from Bradyâs corpse. Sam knew it would still be days though before he felt like he didnât still need a shower.
Okay so my recipient for @bittersamgirlclub Secret Santa was the amazing and lovely @heavenlysams.
This isnât 100% in keeping with any of the specific prompts I was given, but I noticed a theme within the prompts that gave me this idea. I hope you enjoy it, Julia!!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
PS. Brevity is not a skill I have. 3832 words follow.
Soulmates: A Happy Sam Story
At first, Sam thought he was imagining it. The sense of something there. It wasnât like heâd never experienced that before. It had been like that with Lucifer, at first. After the wall had come down, and Cas cured his hallucinations⌠thereâd still been flashes of Hell. Then the vague feeling that he was being watched, like Lucifer was somewhere nearby, in his blind spot, but gone when he turned to look.
This was a lot like that, and it worried him. Heâd been getting better. It had been years since he looked over his shoulder every thirty seconds, expecting to see something. He felt calmer. But now here it was again⌠something there. Something watching.
He felt it every morning, on his usual route. Sometimes it was a jog, other times a run. For a while, he was dealing with a nasty scratch a wendigo had left on his thigh. He kept it to a walk for two weeks. But regardless of the speed, he always took that same route. Out of the bunker through the garage, out along the highway and then the little dirt track that cut across the park.
The trees on the edge of the park. Thatâs where it was. He felt it there, every time he passed. Sometimes he stopped and peered into the undergrowth. A couple of times he was sure he saw something, but then it would be gone. Heâd considered mentioning it to Dean, but what would he even say? Something is watching me but I donât know what or why or even if there is anything and actually, Dean, I think I might be going crazy again and Iâm terrifiedâŚ
No.
He hadnât been keeping track, but it was probably a little less than two months when he saw it. Heâd felt the eyes again, and then heâd stopped. And he looked. And he finally saw.
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