oops I made it gay

Can you say something about fat people that doesn’t involve the phrase “tummy squish” or any variants thereof. Quickly

I know a couple fat guys and they're good electricians

if christopher nolan was really the visionary and ground-breaking director everyone claims he is he would have cast ben affleck as penelope

you dislike ice cream that tastes like fruit because you're a broken person

one must imagine sisyphus in margaritaville

my takeaway from the new spider man movie is that mass surveillance is cool when spider man does it for his bffs at the nypd

like the moral dilemma being presented is using the mutant muzzle 9000 that he invents in his “golly gee I’m just a boy genius that wants to save the world” kind of way but I’m supposed to gloss over that he’s on the phone with a cop promising prompt delivery of a suspect because he has facial scans of everyone who has ever sneezed in his vicinity

Sometimes I think about how institutional church sponsored misogyny permanently altered the course of my life then I have to stop before I ruin my day being pissed off

my mom believed in gender segregated education and social activities run by the Roman Catholic Church and everything about these experiences, the resources I had access to, what I was being taught about myself and the world, the agency I was allowed was a second rate compared to what my brother was getting in every way that mattered and sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to pretend this was okay or just “the way things are”

when people talk bad about cargo shorts i feel so unsafe

like sorry you hate my boxy silhouette and practical pockets