✿ i keep myself to myself

“I hope so,” she chuckled a little sheepishly - worst comes to worse, she’d have to consult her home base, which was the last thing she wanted to do. “Yeah I don’t exactly get on people’s bad side,” Casper shrugged, thinking a bit, “At most they’d know me from Emerald - and I have a friend, apparently she’s gotten into this mess as well.” Daphne, who was a lot more enthusiastic about this, was probably more likely to be targeted, but considering the scale of it Casper began to piece together how this wasn’t a direct attack.

“Honestly, that’s exactly my mindset,” she chuckled as she turned to pick up a couple of the many black and grey sports bras she had in the drawers, “It’s a lot more practical too.” Just like that, she felt a little better, a lot calmer. Having a friendly presence to share this problem turned out to be a lot more helpful that she expected it to be. “I think I’m just lacking on the bottoms department right now so honestly pants that would fit would be nice,” Casper replied, suddenly very aware of the overexposure of her legs, trying to casually pull the hem of her shorts down. “Oh yeah, Noah’s stuff might be usable. Beau abandoned ship so I can’t hope for help from him right now, but I think I’ll ask around now since you mentioned it.” She smiled right back, nodding at Pat before handing her the bras.

The reminder that Cas worked at Emerald made Pat realize that there might be a complication. “Damn... I didn’t even think about work. I guess I can call in sick if this lasts too long, but they’re pretty casual about me over at the park--- could be if I just show up to do work, they’ll let me be, no matter who I look like. Or don’t look like.” She chewed her lip a minute, but then decided there was nothing to be done, really, just have to show up sometime and see what she could improvise.

Pat glanced down at her own skinny legs, and Cas’s longer ones, and smiled. “Yeah, pants are a problem. I don’t mind having a jacket the size of a tent, but these will definitely help. Thank you, again,” she added, gathering the clothes together. “I think I’m gonna go home and, uh... wash up and change, before I go find out what’s going on with anyone else. But, uh, text me if you find out anything about it? And I’ll come by later with some better clothes to tide you over, okay?” It sounded like a good plan in her head---with everything being completely bat-shit, sticking to simple things was probably what she’d be best at, for dealing with it.

“I hope so,” she chuckled a little sheepishly - worst comes to worse, she’d have to consult her home base, which was the last thing she wanted to do. “Yeah I don’t exactly get on people’s bad side,” Casper shrugged, thinking a bit, “At most they’d know me from Emerald - and I have a friend, apparently she’s gotten into this mess as well.” Daphne, who was a lot more enthusiastic about this, was probably more likely to be targeted, but considering the scale of it Casper began to piece together how this wasn’t a direct attack.

“Honestly, that’s exactly my mindset,” she chuckled as she turned to pick up a couple of the many black and grey sports bras she had in the drawers, “It’s a lot more practical too.” Just like that, she felt a little better, a lot calmer. Having a friendly presence to share this problem turned out to be a lot more helpful that she expected it to be. “I think I’m just lacking on the bottoms department right now so honestly pants that would fit would be nice,” Casper replied, suddenly very aware of the overexposure of her legs, trying to casually pull the hem of her shorts down. “Oh yeah, Noah’s stuff might be usable. Beau abandoned ship so I can’t hope for help from him right now, but I think I’ll ask around now since you mentioned it.” She smiled right back, nodding at Pat before handing her the bras.

Pat nodded---it was as she’d expected, because who could hate Cas or want to curse her or something, after knowing her for five minutes or less? “That’s good, your friend---well, not good, obviously. None of this is particularly good, just... weird.” But if it was really happening all over the place, it meant it wasn’t just down to Pat to figure out what to do about it. Which was undeniably better for all of them.

She took the sports bras, and the rest of the clothes. They all seemed acceptable---as in, intact, since Pat could give a rat’s ass about fashion, in any circumstance. Hearing Beau abandoned ship, or whatever, she was curious---since he’d seemed kind of like the sort to be all bro-y, rise-and-support the pack in a crisis. But it wasn’t any of her business. “You’re a friggin’ life saver. I’ll bring by pants later, after I check in with... some other people I should make sure are okay.” Pat was struck, again, by how well Cas was taking the whole magic thing. She returned the smile, though, as she said, “You sure you’re okay? I mean... with all of this... witchy stuff, and so on... I know it’s probably a lot to process.” 

Beau wasn’t used to a lack of confidence and being uncertain about his place here, but Pat seemed to really show forthcoming here. She moved with real deliberation and Beau’s eyes followed her, trying to step out of her way. At the mention of the spice, Beau glanced down at said object he was still holding and put place it back down. “Okay,” he said finally getting a word in edgewise and stepped behind Pat to follow her. He didn’t really know what she was doing at the river, but she didn’t have a terrible reaction to his appearance and maybe she was buying this Phil schtick. It was just nice not to be alone or judged.

Pat grabbed the bag she’d gotten from Cas up from where she’d dropped it outside, and slung it over her shoulder. She really didn’t know Beau well enough to make any sort of judgement on whether this was him, or he was telling the truth and was Beau’s cousin Phil---though that seemed tragic and unlikely, given everything going on, and he looked nothing like Beau. Either way, he was still a wolf in town, and he was acting... lost. He followed her out of the dark, and as she led the way to the river she glanced back at him. “So, Phil---” she asked after a moment’s pause. “What brings you to my neck of the actual woods? Just out for a stroll-and-hide-and-lurk in someone’s house?”

They got to the riverbank, and she added, dropping her belongings on the shore. “No one ever comes to this part of the river but me, so you can chill if you’re actually hiding from anyone.” Then she shucked off her borrowed shoes, her jeans, and her hoodie and tshirt, and waded in to her knees with the bucket in only the sports bra and her boxers, fastened a few inches tighter at the hip with a safety pin. The current was weak, and it was sheltered by surrounding trees---this really was just her place, and she wasn’t self-conscious at all here, even with the stranger present.

“Hey! You-Yeah, you!” Daphne called over the next table to a brunette that looked as though she hated her life. “How does this look? Can I pull off a stash or nah?” Puffing her lips out, she posed a little with a fry between her nose and lips before it tumbled free and ended up falling to the ground. “So, what do you think? Should I consider the change?” Honestly, the female was just bored and looking for something to entertain herself, looks like this chick would have to do. “Aye, are you hungry though? Cause I ordered a shit ton of wings and cheese fries.” And she’d eaten a good half of it. “All yours if you want it.” She waved a hand across her table as if she was presenting her with a new car or something. @patrick–wood

All she’d wanted was to go and get a normal cup of normal tea. And the--the dicktool behind the counter had flirted with her, and made it weird. Not because she was a she now, but because he’d been actually cute. And Pat’d stared at him at a complete loss, before saying absolutely nothing, glaring icy daggers at him for having the nerve to be all dopey and nice, and paying full price for her beverage out of confusion and spite. “Smooth” wasn’t the word, not even remotely. So when another person---another cute person, even---made faces at her and tried to get her attention, even offering food---Pat was fairly sure she was going to handle this situation with as much tact as ever, and resented everyone who was trying to talk to her at all today. 

“No thank you,” she replied evenly, though her eyes drifted to the wings. With all the excitement and strangeness, eating had kind of escaped her, so far. Her stomach grumbled loudly and she averted her gaze, angry. Fucking traitor, in her own body.

She looked back at the girl. “Actually... I’m kinda... maybe starving a little... and might’ve said no out of reflex,” she admitted grudgingly.

“Thank you, Pat,” she nodded, “I don’t really know how to go about this.” Which at least, was true. She couldn’t - or didn’t really want to reach out to her family in San Francisco. Not even her sisters. To have herself end up in such a situation would’ve thrown her into more of negative light within the circle of her elders. And she really hated that idea.

Casper nodded at her explanation, quick to go about searching for things - she eventually produced a couple of t-shirts adorned with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Marvel graphic, and a grey sweater, paired with track pants and dark wash jeans - laying them down on her bed. “I don’t know your stance on bras, but all I use are sports bras,” she said with a sheepish smile, noting what she said about being rough on clothes. Pat’s words worried her a but she decided not to address it - if she wanted to talk about it, Casper would be all ears but she wasn’t going to push anything. “Oh,” she raised her eyebrows, and paused for a moment but felt her smile grow a little more, “Really?” She turned fully to Pat. “I think if it feels right to you that’s really cool,” she replied. She wasn’t all to surprised by this idea - after all gender really wasn’t anything but a construct. Casper felt slightly glad she felt comfortable enough to tell her this. “If anything I support you.”

“It’ll sort itself out, I think. Or someone will fix it---I bet it’s not just us, ‘cause I dunno about you, but I haven’t really been on anyone’s radar, magical or otherwise.” At least, she had to hope that’d be the case. Anyone going out of their way to target both her and Cas---they’d have to really hate quiet people who weren’t causing anyone trouble, wouldn’t they? Cas, at least, was way too nice to ever deserve someone messing with her on purpose like this.

“Sports bras are exactly my speed, I think---anything dressier and I don’t know what I’d do with myself---” she said, with a small smile. “Honestly, this is all great. Is... I mean, I don’t know if you want my crappy clothes in return, but I can run home and get them, if you need.” Crappy was being generous, probably. “Or, actually... I have a few guy friends now,” she added, sizing up Casper’s new form and thinking aloud. “I think you’re about as tall as I was, now, but maybe some of Noah’s stuff would fit you, too?” She ducked her head, smiling at Casper’s reaction to the whole gender thing. “Thanks. I appreciate that, more than you know.”

“A witch,” she nodded in response and wondered who did he meet exactly, “I mean if you’d have told me without this happening I probably wouldn’t take it as well. But that’s comforting.” The tiny guilt did snap at her a little with those words but she really didn’t feel like it was appropriate to admit that she came from a whole line of hunters when they were faced with much more pressing matters.  “Oh! Yeah.  of course.” she raised her eyebrows, promptly closing the door behind her and motioning for Pat to follow her, “I think most of my jeans could fit you.” As much as the physiological change did fuck up her sense of normalcy in movement Casper didn’t really mind the aesthetic change of a masculine body. She had enough hoodies and oversized shirts to go around, though pants seemed to be a bit of a problem as they were all a little too tight for her longer legs. Even the shorts she wore which were usually loose were pretty short on her now. Casper opened up her closet and looked at her friend. “Um, anything in particular you’re looking for? I don’t have a very expansive style.”

“Yeah... comforting,” she said, nodding. Now wasn’t the time to mention that the one time she’d seen Lina use magic, it had fried a squirrel to a crisp. Following Cas back through to the bedroom, she felt a little more at ease about everything that was happening. “I mean, there’s others who probably know stuff, I’ll check in with them, too. Do you want me to---” Of course she would. “I’ll text you if I hear anything,” Pat amended her previous thought.

With the question of clothes, she just shrugged. “Anything that fits. I mean, maybe a change or two---that’s mostly what I have, anyway. I was pretty skinny as a dude, so a lot of stuff is just, uh, a little long.” The jeans kicking around her ankles emphasized it. “Comfy, probably, and easy to wash? Anything you don’t mind getting destroyed, actually. I’m kind of... uh, rough on clothes. But I’ll take care of anything you can lend me,” she added quickly. “This is new, but it’s not, like... upsetting to me...” she confessed. “I was actually playing around with the idea of using gender-neutral pronouns... but I didn’t have anyone who’d, uh, use them, like, at me... until recently, so it seemed pointless to speculate...” Why did that make her feel nervous, to admit? Cas was cool, wasn’t she? And now was clearly a pertinent time to bring it up with someone, right?

New pack? Beau squinted at the girl, while still trying to simultaneously avoid eye contact. Then he finally placed the scent of the homeless girl as Pat the Noodle, since they hadn’t had any new recruits lately…Well, no noodle now. Still, at least Pat was good-looking. Beau was filled with shame. “No,” he replied defensively. “It’s Phil.” The name came to mind having fallen asleep last night to Modern Family. “Anyways, I don’t know what question you’re talking about. You’re the one who lives in a hole. Why do you live in a hole? Have you been living like this this entire time?”

Pat rolled her eyes, and snorted at the name he gave. Whether it was Beau, or his cousin Phil, as he put it, he wasn’t in charge here. “It’s not a hole, you heathen. It’s a den. Which is perfectly normal in some parts of the world,” she said archly, not adding that she’d never been to said parts or that this probably wasn’t one of them. Yes, technically she was homeless. But she did get to call her own shots, and that was worth something. “And no, not the entire time, just since I’ve been in Castor. Obviously. Now, you’re in the way.” He clearly wasn’t a threat, so she elbowed her way past him and picked up her bath supplies---bucket, soap, scrubby bit of cloth. “I’m gonna get some water.” She paused, then glanced at him. “You can keep hiding out here, if you want. Or come to the river, I don’t really care---as long as you stop kicking my spices around.” Yeah, she’d noticed the oregano got knocked over. And she was still being relatively polite to him---how was that for socialized?

“None taken,” she said with a small smile, scratching the side of her head. It felt comforting that she was just there honestly, “I’ve been better - but that’s no surprise.” Her whole morning had been focused on trying to calm herself down alone but having a friendly presence around grounded her. “What?” Oh. Oh- Casper tended to momentarily forget that some people she considered friends had yet to know of her supernatural knowing, hunter all her life self. It’s not like she planned to keep it a secret for long; they’d find out eventually. But with what was going on which also made her forget about the whole Pat not knowing thing left her in a little predicament for a few moments as she tried to explain the magic situation to her. “I-” she shook her head. The floppy brown hair flopped with the motion of her head, “Magic. That- That kind of makes sense.” There wasn’t anything logical to this after all. And her distress probably masked the hesitance in her words. 

Pat waited, but the news that magic was real seemed to hit Cas like a sack of extra-light feathers, and she breathed easier with that. She nodded. “Yeah, I mean... I only met a witch for the first time a little while ago. A nice witch, though. She might be able to help us, if... if you want.” Pat had never been particularly attached to her gender---his gender, their gender, she really didn’t feel like one thing or the next regarding her human form, or like it mattered too much to her what other people saw her as. And she could still shift to wolf just fine, so. But Casper might be struggling, and Pat was aware of that.  It did bring her attention back to why she was here, though. “I actually was wondering, though... if you might have some clothes I could borrow? For however long this lasts? Specifically, uh, like a sports bra or something, maybe some shoes? My feet shrunk,” she finished, feeling a little pathetic. “I don’t have much, on my end, but we could do like, a swap or something, temporarily if you’d be...okay with that...?”

She was quick to pick up on how Pat didn’t sound like Pat, much like how she herself didn’t either. “Uh, yeah I am,” she replied as she stood up, shifting over to her apartment window to peek outside through the shades. She wasn’t even questioning how Pat knew where she lived. With the situation at the moment, she just needed someone, anyone whom she trusted to  be around. Casper let Pat talk on and she listened. “Of course, yeah.” she walked over to her door and opened it slowly. 

She peeked out the crack to see who she assumed was Pat, a woman with dark hair instead of the lanky form she was used to. “Come in,” Casper said softly as she stepped back to open the door further to let her in, making sure she was behind it as she came in. “Hey,” she greeted, unsure of what to make of this.

The front door opened, and a face peeked out. Not Casper’s. But the eyes were the same, Pat thought. Or maybe just the look of them. She breathed a sigh of relief, and nodded as Cas moved out of the way. “Hey.” She paused, arms crossed, and looked Casper up and down. “Well, I’m kinda glad to know it’s not just happening to me, no offense meant...” And then looked closer, more carefully, at Cas’s new face. “You okay?” she asked softly. “I mean... right, so.” Taking a beat, she tried and failed to find a good way to put it. “So, magic is... is real, just so you know... Witches, stuff like that... and I think that’s what’s happened here.” Cas just looked so down. Pat had to say something. “But I know... some people, I can talk to them. It’ll probably be okay?”

The last thing Beau expected was for the homeless person to come back at the same time he appeared. He didn’t even sense them, too preoccupied with his own misery. But when the girl addressed him by name, Beau sniffed the air himself, catching a familiar whiff. He couldn’t actually place it though. “I’m not– Not Beau,” he stuttered out speaking, shoulders hunched forward, shamefully. That wasn’t a good enough excuse. “I’m his cousin…How do you know him?” He retorted accusingly, hoping to get the girl off his back.

“Uh huh.” Pat totally bought the stuttering mess as not Beau-like at all, so that wasn’t a problem. They’d only crossed paths occasionally and talked once, but she still doubted she was wrong about the scent. Maybe a cousin was believable, though. “He’s part of my new pack. No wonder I was so confused---plus, there’s this thing happening today where everyone looks like people they’re not, so. Thought you might be him, hiding out in a hole for some weird reason.” She arched an eyebrow at him. “So what’s your name, then. Something equally pretentious as Beauregard?” Yeah, she’d asked what Beau was short for, out of curiosity, and been a little disgusted as well as pleased when she found out. “And you still didn’t answer my question.”

Beau was in France. That was the official story anyways. No one could see him as this ugly Quasimodo person. He was literally living the story of Beauty and the Beast. He’d been an asshole to some witch probably and was cursed to live like this. He couldn’t stay home– They’d find him there. He scoured the woods, trying to find a place he could think without anyone finding him. He had to plan out his life for as long as he looked like this. He couldn’t even transform into a wolf and live his life out like that. It was in the midst of these thoughts that he tripped over some spices. “What the fuck?” He swore, lifting the oregano. Glancing down, it seemed like he wandered into some homeless person’s den. Maybe they were gone now. Maybe he could live here. It was just about his only choice.

Pat came home to gather some supplies---she was slightly better outfitted, now, but still overwhelmed. Next stop would be Elizabeth’s---it was getting overdue, and she should really, really check in with the pack some way that was more than a text messaged hey which she’d sent earlier, not knowing what else to add.

The den had a guest. Not again, she thought wearily, before she came in, ready at the slightest hint of blonde hair or intrusive attitude to go full wolf again. But the scent seemed familiar, somehow---not overly so, but recognizable. And the person it belonged to really, really needed a shower---alcohol and panic. Eyes narrowed, she entered the cave, spotting him immediately in the shadows. For a moment she was taken aback though. “Beau?” she asked, incredulously. Then, pausing. “You smell terrible. Like... a walking distillery of sad. What the fuck are you doing in here?”

Her mind had wandered after a bit, thankfully. Leaving her body to relax a little and the pounding of her heart finally to calm down to a healthy pace. She considered having a nap, maybe one that would last until whatever this was - probably a result of magic or something - wore off. Casper couldn’t leave the house like this, could she? She was lucky that she had her day off today but she couldn’t just show up to work as a different person could she?

She didn’t know how long she had been staring down when her phone rang from the coffee table. She overreached for the phone, huffing quietly in frustration before actually getting it to see Pat’s name on it. Casper felt a little relief wash over her and she answered the call, but was suddenly hesitant and she put the phone to her ear. After a moments pause, she began quietly, “Hello?” The stark difference in timbre of her new voice was unmistakable even if she tried to speak softly. “Pat?”

Finally, she picked up. “Hey,” said Pat, in a totally normal voice---no point in hiding this. “It’s Pat, I mean... you probably can’t tell. It’s a long story.” Well, not that long. She’d woken up like this. “Are you home? I need your help, um... I’m kinda... kinda outside your house.” Another long-but-not-so-long story. Probably easiest to say the cafe just told her where Cas lived, wasn’t it? But... “Look, uh. Yeah... it’s really hard to explain over the phone... I think something happened to me, at that party we were at last night...” 

Just the fact that magic was real might come as a huge shock to Casper, she realized. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea after all, she didn’t know if she was up to breaking open that nutshell, or like, what kind of responsibility she might feel afterwards, for telling Cas about what was really going on in this town. Then again, she’d always been cool and laid back, and Pat was feeling quite anxious. She’d already come this far. “Look, I’m just hanging out outside, if you open the door, I’ll explain,” she said in a rush, and hung up. Moving from behind the tree, she went to the front door and waited, shifting back and forth in her bare (and chilly) feet.

Okay, so it wasn’t a dream. Nor was it some illusion. Casper was now stuck in a body - a new body totally separate from hers. Taller, longer, heavier. Of course, the first couple hours of the morning was spent freaking out about it: calling her friends with her deeper, different voice; having a pretty prolonged anxiety attack about it. Everything felt weird. The physics of her body shifted and it felt wrong.

She eventually reached a calm, sitting on her couch and trying to clear her head before she could formulate a kind of plan to help herself get through this. (Which turned out to be harder than she thought when she nearly kneed herself in the chin because her legs didn’t fit comfortably to her chest when pulled up)

@patrick–wood

Waking up in wolf-form, Pat had quickly realized he was different---or, she, she supposed. She felt virtually the same as ever inside, but the world seemed to have shrunk around her, and quick self-study revealed the change. Shifting carefully to her human form, the wolf frowned, inspected her smaller limbs, her strange but not objectionable new female bits, and thought briefly about the whole situation---deciding it was probably witchy bullshit. Finally she shrugged to herself, and decided to make do. Pulling on her old hoodie, she wondered where to go---obviously Elizabeth’s, first. Or Lina’s? But those were kinda far, and she noticed as she pulled on her smallest pair of jeans and cuffed the hems a few times, that her phone showed a missed call from Casper---who was very close, in fact.

Partly out of concern, and partly just to see if Cas might have a sports bra or two she was willing to part with until whatever this was got sorted out---not to mention some shoes and maybe a belt or two---she wandered past the Emerald and followed her friend’s scent to what must be her house---even though she’d never been there before. Tentatively, she called Cas’s phone, from behind a tree outside as she anxiously listened for the ring inside the house. “Pick up, Cas... Life’s fuckin’ weird today, pick up...” she chanted quietly to herself.