oh no!!!

wanting is deeply humiliating so ive decided that i dont need anything ever again

ao3′s orphaning option is cool and a good idea but mostly very fucking funny. i posted this work for fun when i was younger and i still want people to be able to come back to it if they liked it, but now im an adult professional and i dont want it attached to my name. whats the word for that? umm, anonymously posting? no. i want something that indicates i murdered this story’s parents 

technically the story’s parents faked their own death and disappeared to go have an office job, and that’s even funnier

I’ve been playing so much sudoku. You have no idea how much sudoku I’m playing. Every time I close my eyes I see the grid. I’m making moves in my sleep. 179432568. 653897124. 824516937. 915683742. 246175893. 387249615. 561724389. 498351276. 732968451. This morning before I was fully awake I was playing sudoku in my head. I rise with the dawn. I’m a warrior of numbers. You’re nothing to me.

The iron fortress of my mind is like the torment nexus for Arabic numerals 1 through 9. No puzzle forged against me shall prosper. I’m the square’s strongest soldier. You can’t even count, bitch. If sudoku was a drug I’d be in rehab, except I wouldn’t, because I never quit. There are 81 squares in the sudoku board and that means there are at least 81 things that are more important than you. Now get the fuck out of my sight.

I wasn't finished yet. I'm scribing numbers you haven't even heard of. I play so much sudoku in my brain I can't tell if I actually played sudoku this morning, or if I just thought about it really hard. I asked the lady at the checkout counter if she had any more sudoku puzzles. She said "i'll check in the back." She went to the back, and she never came back. I'm like a cave fish. I'm losing senses I don't need. I'm adapted to my environment. I don't know who I am anymore

Kill me once, shame on you. Kill me twice, how did you did that.

kill me three times, this time loop fucking sucks

Die temu ad die

Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.

why does my caladium act like she is starving for light. hang on

You will not use AI to get ideas for your story. You will lie on the floor and have wretched visions like god intended

"We can't help homeless people. That costs money. Instead, we'll spend even more money to make them suffer more."

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"

AGAB (Assigned Gay At Billing)

Fascinated by the fact that his first question was about if he'd have to prove it. I wanna know how far that man would go to save less than a dollar

Sorry, do you think 87 euros is less than a dollar