ifyoudo (mrbusinessman)

Here’s my Achilles’ heel

For a second Ilya pauses, then he opens the door and steps inside. Yuna is sitting on the hospital bed with her leg wrapped in a cast. Besides her lifted leg, there are no obvious signs indicating anything even happened. They barely look at each other before wheezing laughter echoes throughout the room.

Five times Yuna needs Ilya’s help and one time he needs hers.

7.2k (5+1 things, domestic fluff)

The sun’s golden edge

Realization dawns over Ilya. He stares back whilst everything clicks in his head, connecting the dots. Then he starts laughing. “You are wrong,” he grins, shaking his head. It gets answered by a solid punch to his jaw.

or: the talk between Ilya and Scott during the MLH awards.

1.2k (miscommunication, humor)

Thought I had it right, once, twice (but I did not)

About three minutes ago Shane had smacked his phone down on the bed with too much force. It had tumbled off, landing screen up next to Hayden’s bed. A picture of Ilya Rozanov’s dick taking up half of the screen. Shane had to watch in horror how his best friend picked up the phone, barely glanced at it and then almost dropped it after a second look.

So he had blurted out the first excuse that came to mind, which was ‘I think I’m gay but I’m not sure’. That had made Hayden disregard the picture completely. Instead of asking whose dick it was, he had told Shane to kiss him.

1.7k (au where Hayden saw the dickpic, humor)

Leave a divot for your eye

“So you’re saying Hollander would’ve beaten Haller fucking unconscious or some shit?” Bood laughs, clearly amused by Ilya’s dramatics. He looks at Chouinard like it’s the funniest joke the evening has brought them so far and then looks back at Ilya. His voice dies down when he gets a wink as an answer, making Chouinard choke on his beer. “Oh, fuck, seriously? Are we actually talking about Holly?”

Ilya Rozanov regularly gets called out on fighting his husband’s battles. He thinks people should be glad it’s him they’re facing.

5.9k (in which Shane has MMA training, humor, violence)

Let me tell you who I am (I’m your biggest fan)

All in all, it might be annoying and agitating but Rozanov knows not to take it too far. He will never go out of his way to make Scott’s life miserable. It’s all in good fun, mostly private, nothing to lose any sleep over. Until Scott makes the mistake of saying yes to a series of press events in which newly graduated sports journalists get a chance to write a piece about the MLH.

Five times Scott gets harassed by a brand-new reporter and one time he tries to get him back.

4.7k (5+1 things, crack treated seriously, ilya rozanov is a menace)

Don’t you hear the branches cry?

“Not because of Ilya. Shane, they’re scared as fuck of you. Have you not seen the replies to that video? Bro, I have never seen you like that.”

Suddenly it all seems to click for Shane. Minnesota and Chicago didn’t ignore his teammates but Montreal does. They are known to indirectly target him through nearly terrorizing his team. If they chirp at anyone of the Centaurs, Shane will assume it’s to get to him. So they don’t. “Wait, what video? The bar fight one?” His thoughts come to a halt there. “You’re kidding, right? That’s ages ago.”

Hayden gets called back but makes sure to shove Shane lightly with a breathy laugh. “Fuck no! The arcade one!” He shouts as he skates towards the bench.

Months after the video of Shane Hollander in a bar fight came out, people have finally stopped talking about it. Then a new video pops up.

5.9k (in which Shane has MMA training, humor, violence)

I’m not gay (but if I was)

“Nah, Roz wouldn’t hold that against him. The guy’s a dick but he’s fair. Glad he doesn’t have to hide anymore now, they seem like a good couple. Both hot as fuck too. That wedding is gonna be fucking insane, I can’t wait.” It isn’t until Cliff finishes tying his skates and looks up, he realises that the entire locker room has fallen silent and is looking at him. “What’s up?” He asks with a confused frown.

Cliff Marlow is a proud ally. And maybe not entirely straight.

4k (humor, friendship, oblivious Cliff Marlow)

An ode to Shane Hollander’s masculinity

“He’s such a jock,” Cassie says with a chuckle. She puts her glass of dark liquor on the bar so she can fold her arms. When she sees Ilya looking at Bood, she laughs and shakes her head. “Oh no, I’m talking about your man. That guy is hockey if it was a person. And thank god for that, I’ve seen those Reebok ads.”

“He’s such a jock,” Cassie says with a chuckle. She puts her glass of dark liquor on the bar so she can fold her arms. When she sees Ilya looking at Bood, she laughs and shakes her head. “Oh no, I’m talking about your man. That guy is hockey if it was a person. And thank god for that, I’ve seen those Reebok ads.”

“Nah, Roz wouldn’t hold that against him. The guy’s a dick but he’s fair. Glad he doesn’t have to hide anymore now, they seem like a good couple. Both hot as fuck too. That wedding is gonna be fucking insane, I can’t wait.” It isn’t until Cliff finishes tying his skates and looks up, he realises that the entire locker room has fallen silent and is looking at him. “What’s up?” He asks with a confused frown.

Cliff Marlow is a proud ally. And maybe not entirely straight.

“Not because of Ilya. Shane, they’re scared as fuck of you. Have you not seen the replies to that video? Bro, I have never seen you like that.”

Suddenly it all seems to click for Shane. Minnesota and Chicago didn’t ignore his teammates but Montreal does. They are known to indirectly target him through nearly terrorizing his team. If they chirp at anyone of the Centaurs, Shane will assume it’s to get to him. So they don’t. “Wait, what video? The bar fight one?” His thoughts come to a halt there. “You’re kidding, right? That’s ages ago.”

Hayden gets called back but makes sure to shove Shane lightly with a breathy laugh. “Fuck no! The arcade one!” He shouts as he skates towards the bench.

Months after the video of Shane Hollander in a bar fight came out, people have finally stopped talking about it. Then a new video pops up.

All in all, it might be annoying and agitating but Rozanov knows not to take it too far. He will never go out of his way to make Scott’s life miserable. It’s all in good fun, mostly private, nothing to lose any sleep over. Until Scott makes the mistake of saying yes to a series of press events in which newly graduated sports journalists get a chance to write a piece about the MLH.

Five times Scott gets harassed by a brand-new reporter and one time he tries to get him back.

Leave a divot for your eye

“So you’re saying Hollander would’ve beaten Haller fucking unconscious or some shit?” Bood laughs, clearly amused by Ilya’s dramatics. He looks at Chouinard like it’s the funniest joke the evening has brought them so far and then looks back at Ilya. His voice dies down when he gets a wink as an answer, making Chouinard choke on his beer. “Oh, fuck, seriously? Are we actually talking about Holly?”

Ilya Rozanov regularly gets called out on fighting his husband’s battles. He thinks people should be glad it’s him they’re facing.