Pls Do Not Hit Me I Have Only 5 HP

Thank you divorce for all you've done for music

goddddd and i just UGH but also UGHHHHH and aughhhh.... oughhhhhhhhh...... ACK !!! and.... aghhhhhhhh. ughhhhh ! UGH !!!!! and i can't even because AGHHHHHHH. UGHHH

weary and wary are not the same word and have very different meanings and if i see one more person use wearily when they mean warily I’m gonna combust

thank you for this reply you get the funny crown today with bonus points for accuracy

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

what about average naturals huh? some real home grown staple crop type of titty. it aint all trying to blue ribbon at the fair you know

As far as I’m concerned, all titties get the blue ribbon

that s not how the fair works

Oh yeah? Then I’m gonna make my OWN fair! With titty ribbons, and beautiful women

can i come to your fair it sounds cooler

mine just has all these fucking lettus andf carrots

i know medical reports have to write things this way, but when i see "dull mood, denies smoking" on my doctor's visit summary i can't help but hear "boring bitch and a croaking liar"

one of the medical reports for my broken leg called me attractive and pleasant, and I haven't let myself read another medical report since because I want to maintain a Schrödinger's cat type situation where the reports might say 'still attractive, would fuck' or they might say 'ugly now, aged poorly' and I'll never know because I refuse to let the wave function collapse into a single reality

swifties always going on the "you just hate women" defense like first of all Taylor Swift is not a woman she's an unskippable ad

I’ve watched this over and over again and I laugh every time

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.