and perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.
- madeline miller, the song of achilles
Today's Document
Xuebing Du

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins
KIROKAZE
dirt enthusiast
RMH
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement
Not today Justin

titsay

⁂

Kaledo Art
Game of Thrones Daily
d e v o n
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Misplaced Lens Cap

if i look back, i am lost
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@paragayyy
and perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.
- madeline miller, the song of achilles

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my clematis
ivan’s birthday art this year was definitely a bit of a surprise, and of course the fandom’s reaction was to go insane over this, because ivan is one of the most popular (and covered up) characters and so you get a lot of posts thirsting over him. (i am not immune to this. you can see his belly button actually)
the fact that he’s presented this way at all is super interesting to me though. it’s a subtle 4th wall break and i really like that it’s been consistent throughout the entire series: you, the viewer, are part of the audience. the segyein are objectifying and dehumanizing them, and so are you. YOU ARE PART OF THE AUDIENCE.
it is also extremely telling that they do this the MOST with ivan. he’s the fan favorite for a reason, both in-universe and in fandom. we like his aesthetic beauty, but the allure is part of his persona. and what i mean by “this” are the glamour magazine shots. because sua and luka are both pretty and have their own fanbases, but neither of them have art like this. sua doesn’t have any like this, even though we know she did advertisements while in anakt garden. luka has glamour shots of his own, but they’re much more detached/artistically oriented than ivan’s, with logos displayed both on the magazine and on himself too. ivan's a commodity, as it were. a lot more accessible than the lofty “prince of the stage” luka.
and ivan knows he’s hot and knows exactly how to wield that to his advantage. the short one page comic in the bday post & the anakt garden kit show him as seemingly a playboy type.
what makes this more interesting though, is that while he may be aware of how other people perceive him and how to use that to his advantage, he doesn’t actually believe himself to be all that attractive. like he knows objectively that people find him attractive but he personally doesn’t think that he is… which is probably one of the most human insecurities one could have, but he doesn’t have the words to understand that feeling.
but also… he has to. in this cutthroat world, he must play his role perfectly or else be discarded. he’s not like till, with his raw musical genius, or luka, who’s already won a season and the fanbase to support him. so of course he has to sell himself.
also, given everything about the karaoke scene, and also knowing that ivan has had r18 fantasies about till, i wonder how much he resents that 1) he allows this to happen to himself but also 2) the fact that he has desires towards till at all. like he just submits to the segyein, but he knows till wouldn't. and they don't understand what kissing is and their sex ed is basically only as far as a biological function, so i think this would just reinforce his warped perception of himself and his desires as perverse or disgusting. in his eyes, these desires make him no better than a segyein.
genuinely i don’t think it’s possible to easily explain the explicit part of online friendships to people who don’t Understand. i don’t mean like, explicit in the sense of “oh you’re sexting” or whatever. no. i mean when you and your friend start gleefully making up explicit sexual scenarios for your shared blorbos and you get giddier and giddier as you add more detail and you’ll be grinning at your screen as you type away at mach speeds. and it’s entirely nonsexual in an interpersonal sense, you’re not really getting Into it, but ohhhhh it’s soooooo fun and satisfying. and you can NEVER tell someone who doesn’t also do this that your mood is actively improved like fivefold because you and your friend played Sexual Tuoys together because they’ll go “what the FUCK.”

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I could swear we had one but is there any official art that's like. Right Before this
or am I just mixing it up with the illust of Ivan dropping one on Till
the only one i can really think of is the one of ivan dropping one on till, but there is also this one you might be thinking of ?
Ueue my ivti mind imagined it I think... Thank you though !!
i think MAYBE this scene??? from r2. also you might be interested in this thread which is all the ivantill moments in chronological order?? and they do talk abt the flower scene and i rly like their interpretation of it
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
#what the fuck happened here
This is my favorite post in all of tumblr
reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia
reblog it, because Russia can´t
Thanks Obama
When Russia makes this post illegal
I HAVE ONLY SEEN THIS IN SCREENSHOTS
Not enough people talking about how well broccoli holds a sauce
Helping families in Gaza
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a bit of an experimental piece, inspired by anumone_7's etymology series (10/10 would recommend). best read on a computer bc otherwise the music symbols won't load on mobile
ivantill // 2k, rated T, character study, 2nd POV
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

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insert cool caption here
rereading ao3 comments people left out of love on my fics that i wrote out of love lol we’re all gonna make it. It’s gonna be ok!!
been working on a piano arrangement of black sorrow for a while and did u guys know that the drums at the beginning of black sorrow are inverted from the drum pattern at the end of unknown (till the end) ahaha i really really want to do a musical analysis of the characters but there's too many other thoughts occupying my head
i wish i had more coherent analyses of alnst but tbh most of my thoughts are just *bleep* incoherent yelling so i dont have anything to post. actually ok maybe i stop being a perfectionist about it
I wanted to make a longer post but I lost the motivation, I just love how hard Ivan projects on Sua and how fucking MEAN HE IS ABOUT IT both to her face and in his internal monologue.
Something I find interesting is how naturally it comes to him. It's not like the intentional teasing he does to get Till's attention, it's something he genuinely feels and thinks, and throws her way pretty much unfiltered (which is very rare for him!!!). It's a direct expression of his self-hatred projected onto Sua because How Dare She (who I have coded in my mind to be in my bubble of Freaks Like Me) be loved when clearly, people like us are not meant to be.
I know the social standing of humans amongst each other is not the same as in real life but this kind of sentiment is not uncommon for real life gay men about lesbians. Girls being affectionate with each other can be brushed off by the majority of people, homophobic or not, especially at the age at which Ivan is expressing these thoughts about mzsa, but men get teased about being gay for quite less than that.

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🦁CONTRIBUTOR APPS OPEN🦁
“My past enemies are either dead or captured, and my past friends are scattered to the winds. Now that I think about it, I am indeed an old man…”
Contributor Apps for Ephemera and Perihelion are open until June 2nd!
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Apps open now!! Come join our dead wifeism gang~
it still makes me go insane that somehow no social media site bothers to implement interleaved text and images. Fediverse cannot support it broadly, Bluesky can't handle it, Facebook can't do it, Twitter can't do it, fucking, LinkedIn doesn't do this, somehow only Tumblr has this, and it barely even counts as a popular social media site.
well you see we're the new pdf