Graveyard Flowers

POV: you open tumblr this what you see. You close tumblr.

Yesterday was such a set back for me. And I’m devastated. Two years ago I tried to end my own life and got diagnosed with bpd afterwards. It explained so much about everything in my life. I spent so much time sh and just constantly wanting to not be here. But half way through last year things seemed to be turning around I felt like I had some things under control and I was losing weight and I felt so happy. So far this year has just been one kick in the gut after the other and it’s been horrible. Everything came to a head yesterday and I had to take myself to a safe space where I could get help and I just feel like such a let down and a failure and it sucks. I want so bad to be like everyone else to not constantly struggle with my mental health my physical health and everything in between but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to and it hurts. So bad. I’ve hurt myself I’ve gained back all the weight I lost and plus some. Im back to being jobless and I’ve lost nearly all of my friends.

It’s been so long since I’ve been able to do this mainly because of family or stress/emotional eating but I’m so proud of myself.