"That's So Metal"

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE

when you save alarms for specific things but then you just keep reusing them. like sure wake me up at the chocolate milk alarm, what do i care

"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

Funny how depending on who's saying it and where, the words "dark fantasy" could mean that the work contains a hardcore questionably ethical kink scenario, or it could mean that at some point there might be some kind of a Skeleton King.

I really wish the overused sentence “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” was less relevant but here we are

you know how when you go out in the middle of the woods, your phone loses internet service? that is because the trees naturally protect you from the evil dark energy rays generated by influencers and twitter opinions. follow for more information about the beauty of nature

truly nothing funnier than having an archive of when you first started getting into a media that has since consumed your entire life

rereading dracula after reading carmilla for the first time really makes me appreciate carmilla's efficiency in securing a place. dracula had to deal with all the logistics of the housing market meanwhile carmilla just crashed her car on someone's lawn and she got a cushy guest room and a girlfriend out of it. carmilla the woman you are

all i want is a historic biopic about the lesbian who was alive circa sheridan le fanu time who lesbianed so hard and so wild that when he walked in on her lesbianing he just went “omg vampires” and wrote carmilla

the best part of the conclave was watching that mama seagull throw up into her baby's mouth on the livestream. also, the two gulls with the baby were both female, and it was feeding from both of them. all this to say the whole world sat and watched vatican lesbian seagulls raising their baby while waiting for a pope