Reasons why American Ninja Warrior is 100% Good and Pure
No fighting involved, despite the name
Everybody cheers for everybody
Men and women compete on the same course on equal footing
Even the best competitors fail, and take it in stride
“Akbar Gbaja-Biamila” rolls off the tongue in a pleasant way
You’re only competing against the course and yourself
Holy shit how are these people doing any of this
The way Matt Iseman says “A-MER-i-can NINjaaaa WAAAAARrior.”
When you wipe out the worst that happens is you get wet
Adorable parents, kids and SOs in matching t-shirts on the sidelines, cheering
Many ripped and bare-chested men
Many ripped and goddess-like women
Badass competitors with day jobs like weatherman, flight attendant, and FedEx delivery driver
All the other athletes are SUPER PSYCHED when someone does awesomely
Kids with sparkly signs in the bleachers
The hosts shouting semi-incoherently when someone’s Killing It on the course
Successful competitors using their notoriety to start up foundations and help kids
So many long-haired hippie rock climbing types
Akbar’s infinite well of Dad Jokes
People who DIY up Ninja obstacle courses in their backyards or gyms
Only one sponsor, and they just want you to drink some pomegranate juice