~ take aim & reload

please hurry up and overthrow capitalism so that i don’t have to fill out any more job applications where i have to retype the contents of my resume into an application form after i already attached my resume

I’m a simple woman. I find a song I like, I listen to it for three weeks uninterrupted until I find another one.

When you run out of your activia

I was trying to explain to my grandma what being bisexual meant and saying that I looked at ladies butts and she was all “You’re not GAY everyone checks out ladies rear ends” and my sister was like “I have never wanted to look at a ladies butt” Later my grandma called me and was like “I THINK I MIGHT BE A LITTLE GAY”

BEST GRANDMA STORY

ONE OF MY FAVORITE COLD OPENS EVER

I laughed out loud in Starbucks because of this

This is a masterwork of storytelling which is also a rollercoaster from beginning to end.

girls don’t like boys, girls like the pastoral escapist fantasy of living in a large house with many friends and several pets on a beautiful chunk of land with no financial, political, or medical anxieties. also, bread.