Paintedblaze-Dapplegreys

british people: none of you know how huge england is! it takes so long to get anywhere. it takes me 5 minutes to get to work everyday! i haven’t seen my wife and children in 30 years because it takes 10 whole minutes to drive to them.

So I know somebody who initially moved to the UK from New York to do a postgraduate degree at Cambridge. When she first flew out, her mother came along for a week to help her move in and get settled. While my friend was attending a programme meeting, the mother went to out to find a housewarming gift for her daughter. She ended up at a little boutique, and started chatting with the owner, explaining that her daughter had just made this big transatlantic move and that she was going to miss her dearly. The owner said to her “Oh, I know exactly how you feel. When my daughter moved away I cried and cried, and the distance has been so hard for me.” “Oh, I’m sorry,” replied my friend’s mother. “Where did your daughter move to?” “London,” the owner replied, with a 100% straight face.

God: Now listen to me Gabriel, these are going to be really fun because some go on pizzas.

Bonus: