hand on my stupid heart

once i read everything on earth then i think ill be prepared to write

I'm sorry WHAT

'lazy people don't feel guilty about not doing anything' is insane to me and I have been trying to make my brain believe it for a long time, it shocked me to my core when I first heard it

An important corollary to "if you were faking your mental illness, you could stop whenever you wanted."

the biggest spider in north america just sent you a friend request on steam

I basically find crap like this hard to believe

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

one hundred and seventy dollars

NYT Connections puzzles suck cuz it will be something like "sit" "pop" "cap" "efecate" and the answer will be like WORDS USED TO MEAN TAKING A SHIT MINUS ONE LETTER

Its so sad there isnt a jorking it equivilent for food

bro just take my fucking job application without a cover letter. we're literally gonna be in a mega economic collapse, you're not gonna fucking read it anyways. do you really need some fucking fanfic about me working at your business?? what the fuck are we even doing right now??

i need to get dry humped more than i need air or water i think