Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 2 Part 8
Dr. Gregory House (House MD)
Aaravos (The Dragon Prince)
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Not today Justin
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Andulka
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@ovloppy
Tumblr Sexyman Contest 2026 Round 2 Part 8
Dr. Gregory House (House MD)
Aaravos (The Dragon Prince)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
meow
Was this you
Do you like my chem cheat sheet so far lol
Btw we get two of these cards. Front and back. I might lowkey not need the other card this might already be half of what I need—
oh my gods i might be slightly insane
anyways dont underestimate my ability to write rlly fucking tiny lmao
GOOOD LUCK RAINBOW YOU GOT THIS
Love not having a ”””fandom””” specific blog. Something new will just consume my mind and everyone has to accept it. My house
Imagine Eva Stratt years after sending her favorite guy to boss around to space. Getting the logs and recordings and finding out that her guy made first contact with sapient alien life and it IMMEDIATELY started bossing him around too. Like what if you surrendered your dog and it got adopted by an alien instantly. Happened to my girl Eva Stratt

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
We went to a confectionary earlier. You can all eat my ice cream through the screen
you would think with the decade-long common perception of tumblr as the “piss on the poor” website that maybe tumblr users would be somewhat cognizant of this tendency and make an actual effort to read what youre actually saying instead of responding to the argument that they made up in their head. but unfortunately many keep joking about pissing on the poor and just assuming its something other people do while theyre still doing it without an ounce of shame or self-awareness
no i didnt use the wrong blog ehat do you mean
NO I DONT LIKE PIRATINF cough STUFF ON THE INTERNET WHAT ARE YOU SCCUSING ME OF cough cough choking noises
You hate my accent??!!!!?? Well i dont have one so you must sound weird
YOU ARE PIRATING ON THE INTERNET?!?!
You speak with an irish accent?
Thats not what it expextdd
I AM SURFING THE INTERNET YES
Uh yes i have a russian accent didnt we all know this
YOU ARE SURFING IN THE NORTHERN GREAT PROVIENCE OF GREENLAND?!?!
I AM SNOWBOARDING IN ICELAND??!!
YOU ARE CHUCKING ICE AT CHILDREN LEARNING TO SNOWBOARD!!?
I’m not THROWING SNOWBALLS AT CHILDREN OF THE SNOW PEOPLE THAT’S WHAT GETS YOU KILLED
YOU ARE THE HIT LIST OF THE GREAT SNOWMAN AND NOW IT IS COMING FOR YOU
THE GREATEST SHOWMEN ARE GOING TO FIND YOU ARE YOU READY
SNOW MEN ARE GOIKG TO HUG ME?!?
i need hugs so im fine with this
YOU ARE GOINF TO MUG THE SNOW MEN
Dont we all
YOU GOINF TO TURN THE SNOW MEN INTO LIFE SIZE MUGS?!?!
I GET SNOW MAN MUGS!???? HOORAY
YOU GETTING MUGGED BY THE EVIL SNOW MEN
YOU ARE AN EVIL MAN WHO DUG HIS OWN GRAVE?
I AM DR. EVIL?!?!
He has henchman to do that tho
HELLO DOCTOR EVIL CAN YOU UPDATE MY ANTIBIOTICS PRESCRIPTION
YOU NEED A SUBSCRIPTION FOR DRUGS
I NEED A SUBSCRIPTION FOR TUMBLR??? IM BROKE PLEASE DONATE TO MY GOFUNDME
YOU NEED A SUBSCRIPTION FOR A GOFUNDME?!?
YES YOU HAVE TO PRESCRIBE THE GARLIC KNOTS
US ASEXUALS DIE WITHOUT GARLIC IN OUR DIETS didn’t you know that what kind of doctor are you
YOU ARE ROBBING THR WORLD GARLIC BANK?!?
Who ever said i was a doctor?
IM A GARLIC BANK!!???
Hmm i think doctors are supposed to not do malpractice
THE GARLIC IS ROBBING EVERY BANK TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD?!?
THE GARLIC BREAD CULT IS TAKING OVER THR BANKING INDUSTRY?
THE BANKERS ARE BUYING ALL THE GARILIC BREAD?!?
OMYGOD PRIVATE EQUITY IN GARLIC BREAD!!!!
THE GARLIC BREAD ARE PRIVATES IN THE BREAD ARMY?!
GARLIC BREAD HAS ITS OWN PRIVATE ARMY?!!? Whats next, a linkedin account
THE GARLIC CHEIF OF GARLICNESS HAS ITS OWN POTATO FARM IN TOMATOVILLE?!
nooo FLAT STANLEY DONT FORGET TO PAY OTHERWISE YOUR DREAMS OF BEING A MAYOR OF BEANTON WILL BE CRUSHED like your body under that bulletin board
FLAT STANLEY IS COMMITING TAX EVASION!!?
FLAT STANLEY IS GOING TO JAIL FOR ARSON
THE GOD OF FIRE HAS BLESSED MR. STANLEH?!
op or spectre PLEASE explain I’m dying to know how you guys got here
Well due to @ovloppy accidently deleting the whole chain when reblogging you cant see all of them sadly but its due to the both of being too stubborn
For context this chain has been going on since like decemeber 16th i think
I dont know if it will ever end
But i refuse to yield!
yeah lol we all know spectre will yield first but hes too stubborn to admit that
I DIDNT KNOW THST I COULD DELETE THE REBLOGS 😭 AAAAAAAAA but its probably for the best lol my tumblr kept crashing
IT IS NOT FOR THE BEST
I WANT TO BE ONE OF THE LONG ASS TEXTS THAT TAKE A DAY TO SCROLL THROUGH
HAHAHA SHOULD WE MOVE BACK
ITS TOO LATE NOW
ITS NEVER TOO LATE AHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAJAJAJAJJAJAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHA
WE ALREASY HAVE POSTS ON HERE NOW
IT IS TOO LATE
ALRIGHT WE HAVE TO COMMIT
LOL ILL STOP DELETING ALL THE REBLOGS
GOOD
OR YOU’LL GET STEEL CHAIRED
YOUR FOOD IS STEEL CHAIRED!???
THE TINY MANIACAL TODDLER ARMED WITH TWO STEEL CHAIRS IS COMING FOR MY SPAGHETTi?!?!
YOU ARE A TINY MANIACAL TODDLER AND YOU ARE GETTING CRUSHED BY THE TWO STEEL CHAIRS?!!?
THE TODDLER IS MANIACALLY LAUGHING WHILE REPEATING SMACKING UOU WITH A STEEL CHAIR like THEY DID TO THE POTATO GOD NAMED GREG
DARN HOW ARE THEY LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE CARRYING FIFTEEN STEEL CHAIRS??!??
OMYGOD GREG THE POTATO GOD IS IN THE TODDLER!?
THE POTATO GOD IS POSSESSING A TODDLR WHO CAN lift 20 STEEL CHAIRES!?!??!
GREG THE FIVE YEAR OLD IS 20 CHAIRS TALL?!
maybe donate some of that
GGREG THE FIFTY YEAR OLD IS STANDIJG ON 30 STEEL CHAIRS AT THE SAME TIME?!
thats not safe
GGREG IS FIFTY BY THIRTY STEEL CHAIRS SQUARED IN AREA???
How does he get through tsa
GREG IS THE SIZE OD THE GIANT STEEL CHAIR SATELLITE?!?!
GREG THE STEEL CHAIR IS IN THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION
THE ISS IS MAKING GREG A NATIONAL MONUMENT
GREG HAS BEEN ON THE ISS SINCE THE COMPLETION OF MOUNT RUSHMORE
GREG PUT THE ISS IN MOUNT RUSHMORE?!?!
THE HOLY MOUNT RUSHMORE IS NOW IN SPACE WITH GREG
MOUNT RUSHMORE IS OWNED BY THE VATICAN?!
THE POPE FROM CHICAGO (?) ATE MOUNT RUSHMORE
THE POPE IS RUNNING CHICAGO?!,?
CHICAGO IS RUINING THE POPE???
THE MOP IS RUNNING THE MOB?!?
THE CLOROX WIPES ARE MAFIA BOSSES??
THE MAFIA IS BUYING ALLL THE CLOROZ WIPES
THE MAFIA HAS EATEN ALL OF OUR CLOROX
THE ITAILIANS ARE TURING THE OCEAN INTO A GIANT OCEAN OF BLEACh?!?!
OMYGOD THE SWEDISH MAFIA IS BLEACHING THE OCEAN
how does that work
THE SWEDISH IS THROWING ALL OF THEIR MEATBALLS INTO THE OCEAN?!??
IKEA DOESNT HAVE MEATBALLS ANYMORE!!!??? So they still have the veggieballs right
IKEA IS HOARDING ALL RHE MEATBALLS?!
THE MEATBALLS HAVE TAKEN OVER THE SEMOLINA INDUSTRY
THE MEATBALLS HAVE SALMONELLA?!?
YOU ARE SALMONELLA INDUCING
THE SALMON ARE DANCING?!
THE SOY SAUCE AND SALMON AND CUCUMBER ALL GO IN A BLENDER TO CREATE SLUDGE
THE TURNING ALL THE FOOD INTO SLUDGE?!?
MY SEWER SLUDGE IS IN MY FOOD
THE SEWER LIZARDS ARE STARTING A REVOLUTION?!?!
THE REVOLUTIONARY LIZARD JOSE RIZAL IS ALIVE AGAIN
THE WIZARD IS STSRTING A RESISTANCE AGANIST LIZARDS?!!?!
THE WIZARD NEEDS A LIZARD SACRIFICE TO END THE RESISTANCE!
THE LIZARD MUST SACRIFE THE POTATO WIZARD TO STARR A REVOULTOKN
DARN IT THE POTATOES ARE REBELLING AGAINST THE WIZARD-LIZARD ALLIANCE WHAT DO WE DO
THE TOMATOS ARE FIGHTING THE POTATOS BECAUSE THE PICKLES ARE FIGHTING THE TOMATOS??!!
WHAT
ARE THE PICKLES AND POTATOES ALLIES OR SOMETHING
ANYWAYS THE FROG ATE THEM ALL so
THE PICKLES AND POTATOS ARE FIGHTING EACH ITHER?!!!
THE FROGS DIGESTIVE SYSTEM IS FULL OF PICKLED POTATOES
THE PICKLES ARE EATING FROGS?!
OH NO PICKLES THE FROG IS A REAL MENACE
THE FROG IS A COMMUNIST?!
THE COMMUNE IS FULL OF FROGS
THE FROGS ARE RAIDING THE COMMUNE FOR FLYS?!?
FLEUR DE LYS IS BALLET FOR FLIES??
THEY BALLET IS POURING FLOUR ON PEOPLE?!
FLOUR INFESTATION IN THE OPERA HALL WATCH OUT
THE FLOOR IS INFESTED BY MICE
YOUR HEAD IS INFESTED WITH LICE???? dont come over here
YOURE HEAD IS MADE OF RICE???
YOUR BALD HEAD LOOKS LIKE A GRAIN OF RICE?!!!!????
YOU ARE SO BALD THAT THE SUN REFLEXTS OFF IT LIKE A MIRROR AND BURNS EVERYTHING?!?!
YOU ARE SO BALD AND YOUR HEAD IS SO ROUND THAT I COULD DETACH YOUR HEAD AND USE IT AS A BOWLING BALL
YOU ARE SO BALD THAT IT LOOKS THE MOON?
ITS TIME TO STEAL THE MOON?????
YOU ARE GERMAN AND BALD WITH A LONG NOSE WITH THREE AFOPTED CHILDREN AND LIKE A HELLA TON OF TINY DUMB and FOREIGN WORKERS WHO ARE ALSO KINDA LIKE YOUR FAMILY AND ARE A SUPER SPY AND IS MARRIED TO AN EXTREMLY TALL AND LONG NOSED GINGER WIFE?!?!!
YOU ARE ONE OF THE TINY AND DUMB FOREIGN WORKERS IN MY EMPLOYMENT WHO ALSO FOR SOME REASON ARE OBSESSED WITH THEIR UKELELE AND YOU CANNOT PLAY IT WELL!????? AND YOUR BROTHER-THING GOT THE MONARCHY WHEN YOU DIDNT!??? HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL
YOURE AN ELF THAT WORKS FOR SANTA?
YOU ARE A LARGR FAT MAN WITH A WHITE BEATD AND A REINDEER FOR SOME READON
YOU ARE ELMOS
YOU ARE SLOWMO??? Whos that
YOU ARE WALKING IN SLOW MOTION!?
Thats so lame
HAHA YOU ARE AN XRAY AHAH
YOU ARE RADIOACTIVE!?!?
thats not safe, you should get that checked out
YOU ARE INSIDE THE RADIO!?!???!? Like the radio station building or the radio itself??? Or the waves!!??!??!?!!! What!!?!??
YOU ARE RIDING THE WAVES LIKE A PRO SURFERS?!??
oH NO IM A PROBIOTIC?!!?
YOU A EURKARITOC organism?!
IM A DEAD PROKARYOTW?
Noo
YOURE FROM PRIPYAT, UKRAINE?!?
IM COMING FOR YOUR PROPERTY TAX?!!!
YOU ARE RAISINING TAXS 500%?!!
I AM TAXING THE POOR MORE THAN THE ULTRA SUPER RICH??
YOU WAXING THE RICH WITH TAR LIKE WE DID TO TAX COLLECTERS?
THE RICH GO TO WAXING SALONS WITH THEIR TAX COLLECTORS?!!?!
THE DITCH JS GETTING FILLED IN FKR A NEW HAIR SALON
TWITCH IS FILLING IN FOR INSTAGRAM THIS WEEK?????
THE WEELEND OD SWITCHING OFF INSTAGFAM
THE WHEEL IS ON THE FAMILY OF INSTANT RAMEN
YOUR FAMILY WAS TURNED INTO INSTANT RAMAN?!!?
YOUR FAMILY WAS INSTANT RAMEN BUT NOW IT HAS BECOME A SHAMAN?!??? like one single shaman or multiple
YOU’RE FAMILY MOVED TO THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODs AND IS PRACTICING MAGIC NOW?!!?
OMYGID MY MOM TURNED YOU INTO A FROG!??!
YOURE MOM IS A WIZARD WHO TURNED THE CROWN PRINCE INTO A TOAD?!
YOU ARE THE CROWN PRINCE OF POTATOVILLE??!!!!!
POTATOVILLE IS GOING TO WAR WITH THE PRINCE OF BEANVILKE?!
THE PRICE OF LATKES ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD
THE LAKES AEE FHARGING MOEE TO EBEN BE ABLE TO GO OHT ON THE WATER?!!
WHAT CRATER LAKE IS CLOSING BECAUSE IT GOT TOO EXPENSIVE TO MAINTAIN OR SOMETHING SO THEY HAVE TO RENOVATE THE LAKE?!?!
THE LAKE EXPLODD AND NOTHING BUT A CRATER THE SIZE OF A PENNY IS LEFT?
THE WIZARD ISLAND IN THE LAKE BECAME A PENNY SO THAT GUYS WIZARD GF HAD TO BECOME A DIME??
THE WIZARD SHRUNK THE EARTH TO THE SIZE OF A PENNY?!??
YOUR BRAIN IS THE SIZE OF THE WIZARDS PENNY???!!
THE WIZARDS MADE A PENNY THAT IS THE SIZE OF ONE OF THOSE REALLY LONG BANANANANANAS
YOU WORK IN EXTREMELY HARD CONDITIONS TO MAKE BANANAS?
BANANANAS ARE UNDER SO MUCH PRESSURE THST THEY ARE GOIMG TO TURN TO DIAMOMDS
BANANAS ARE NOT VERY GOOD AND I DONT LIKE THEM VERY MUCH BUT SOMETIMES MAYBE THEY ARE OKAY BUT NEVer COMPARE THEM TO FIAMONFS I THINK THAT WAS A BLUNDER FOR YOU
DONT KEEP BLUNDERING
SALMON ARE EATIMG BANANANA WHILE THE PIRATES ARE FAILING TO CATCH THEM?
THE PIRATES ARE A CATCH BUT THE BANANAS KEEP BLUNDERING SO THEY DONT SEE THAT THE DIAMOND OF THE SEASON IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM
THE PIRATES ARE VERY HANDSOME AND SpECIAL
WHAT NO THE PRIVATE RESTROOMS ARE DIRTY WHY WOULD YOU GO THERE
TGE RESTROOMS ARE HAVING A PIRATE PART?!?!
YOUR TOILET GOT STEEL CHAIRED BY PIRATE SHIP!!!?????
THE SHIP TRANSFORMED INTO A GIANT ROBO PIRATE WIELDING A STEEL CHAIR AND A FLINTLOCK?!
THE ROBOT SHIP KNOWS HOW TO USE FLINT AND STEE EL BUT IT GOT BASHED IN THE HEAD WITH A STEEL CHAIR??!!
THE SHIP WAS CRUSHED BY A GIANT ROBOT MADE OF FLINT AND STEEL CHSIRS?!
MY FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ARE MADE OF STEEL CHAIRS
THE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ARE WHACKING EACH OTHER WITH STEEL CHAIRS?!!?!!
THE FICTION ALL GOT BRAIN DAMAGE BECAUSE THEY WERE SLEDDING KN STEEL CHAIRS AND THEN RAN INTO THE WALLS?!
THE CHARACTER HAS A MILD CASE OF SEVERE BRAIN DAMAGE DUE TO GETTING STEEL CHAIRED?!??
YOUR CHARACTER HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY THE SEVERITY OF YOUR BURNS!!?
DANIEL IS COVERED IN SCARS FROM BURNS!!?!!?!,
NOO DONT DIE FOR NO REASON DANIEL WE HAVE TO AVENGE THE FALLEN
DANIEL AND EVERYONE IS DYING?!??
YOU ARE LILLING WVERYOENE AGAIN!!!!!????????? NOOO I CANT HOLD THAT MANY FUNERALS
HAHA SPECTRE IS A FUNERAL HOME DIRECTOR
YOURE HOLDING A FUNERAL FOR YOUR PET GHOSY?
MY PET GHOST ATE YOUR CAR!!?!??
YOU HAVE A GHOST CAR?!
MY CAR IS SUPERNATURAL?!!
YOU DEIVE A BLACK CHEVROLET 1967 IMPALA?!
#now im on episode 20
Both you and @witchesgetstitches-18 are slow watchers lol
MY LICENSE PLATE IS FROM KANSAS ?!! No are you stupid its from new hampshire
:/ i guess we are BUT NO I AM GOING REALLY FAST ACTUALLY BECAUSE IT takes me too long to finish a season :( it took me a full two weeks to finish two episodes once 😔
YOU Ate the ENTIRE STATE OF KANSAS?!??!?? AND NEW HAMPHIRE TOO
UHH NO YOU DEFENESTRATED THE WHOLE COUNTRY OF NEW ZEALAND AND EXPECTED NOBODY TO SEE?!!!!
I STEEL CHAIRED THE ENITR CONTIENERNT OF NEW ZEALAND?!!?!
OMYGOD YOUR HEAD IS THE SIZE OF NEW ZEALAND!!????
YOUR HEAD ID THR ZICE PF CANADA
WELL YOUR HEAD IS THE SIZE OF NORTH AMERICA
YOURE HEAD IS SHAPWD LIKE THE AMERICAS?!!
YOUR hEAD HAS FALLEN OFF DUE TO GANGRENE !????
YOU GOT PELTED WITH ORANGES?!,
YOU WERE FORCEFED ORANGES LAST WEEK BUT STILL HAVE SCURVY??
YOU ARE A PIRSTE?!?!
I AM A PARASITE?!?
YOU ARE A POTATOA?!!?
YOU ARE A PERESSURE COOKER!??!!
YOU ARE AN AIRFRIER
YOU ATE A MICROWAVE!??
YOU BECAME A SENTIENT ROBOT WITH A MICROWAVE FOR A HEAD?!??
SENTIENCE IN ROBOTS IS WHAT YOU RESEARCH WHEN YOU DONT MICROWAVE YOUR COMPUTER
THE ROBOTS ARE MAKING SENTENCES?!?
THE ROBOT GAVE YOU A PRISON SENTENCE OF UP TO TWELVE YEARS WITH THE POSSIBILITY OF PAROLE?!!!!!!
I ROBBED EVERY ROBOT BANK?!
YOU ATE A WHOLE BANK?!!!??
YOU ATE A WHALE?!?
Rude
YOUR WHALE ATE MY HOUSE?!!??
YOU HAVE A HOUSE ON THE BACK OF A FLYING SKY WHALE NAMED LORD GREG GREGORIAN WHALE-FACE THE XXV?!?!!?!!
THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR FORBADE YOUR DONKEY NAMED GREG FROM POOPING ON ME?!??
YOU HAVE A HORSE THAT IS FIGHTING EVERYONE?!!?
YOU ARE FIGHTING YOUR HORSE IN A VACUUM CHAMBER
?!!!?????
I AM VACCUUM MY HORSE?!?,
YOU HAVE A HORSE VACUUM?!!? where do they sell this
YOU HAVE A HORSE THE SIZE IF A VACUUM?!?
THE VACUUM AND THE HORSE ARE AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD?!?
A VACUUM WEILDING HORSE SHRUNK YOUR HEAD WITH A MAGIC VACUUM?
MY MAGIC CUCUMBER IS MAD AT THE SKUNK BECAUSE IT WAS IN THE WAY OF THE CUCMBERS CAR
THE SKUNK ATE THE CUCUMBER THAT BELONG TO THE WIZARD?!!
THE CUCUMBER THOUGHT YOU SMELLED LIKE SKUNK SPRAY WHICH IS WHY IT NEVER ALLOWED ITSELF TO BE EATEN BY YOU!!???
THE CUCUMBER THOUGHT I SMELT LIKE YOU AND RAN AWAY TO NANTUCKET?!!!!!
YOU SMELL SO BAD EVERYONE RELOCATED TO THE MARIANA TRENCH TO ESCAPE YOUR STENCH?!!!?
YOUR STENCH SO FAR DOWN INTO TGE OCEAN THAR THE ANGLER FISH CAN SMELL YOy?!??
THE ANGLER FISH THOUGHT YOU WERE THAT LIGHT THING ON THEIR HEADS!!!?
YOU LOOK LIKE AN ANGLER FISH
WELL YOU LOOK LIKE AN ANGLE
YOU LOOK LIKE A SQUARE
YOU ARE A SQUIRE??!
YOU LIVE IN A WIZARDS TOWER?!?!!
MY HAIR IS GOLDEN AND HEALING MAGIC LIVES IN IT AND ITS REALLY LONG FOR SOME REASON!???
YOU HAVE CURLY BLACK HAIR AND IS NORMAL HAIR AND KIDNAPPED A BABY WITH GOLDEN, MAGICAL HAIR??!!
I HAVE EXCCUISITE BROWNISH HAIR WITH AN AMAZING JAWLINE AND ALSO AM RUNNING AWAY FROM THE THIRVES WHO I STIOLE FROM?
YOURE SEVERELY BALDING WITH GREY fake HAIR WITH A LONG NOSE AND GLASSES WHO DANCES LIKE A PEACOCK?!!
I HAVE WONDERFUL BLUE SKIN AND ALSO A TAIL THAT HAS WEIRD THREAD THIGNS TO CONNEXT TO THE PLANTS!???
YOURE SHORT!?!
I AM FIVE TEN????
YOURE HALF A FOOT TALL
YOU ARE SHORTER THAN A PENNY???!!!!?????
YOU HAVE A BEARD AND A TOP HAT AND HUNT VAMPIRES?!?
YOU ARE ARE A YELLOW THING WITH OVERALLS !!??
YOU ARE A TINY MANICAL TODDLER WITH A STEEL CHAIR?!?
YOU ARE A TODDLER’S PLASTIC CHAIR!!??????
YOU ARE THE HEIGHT OF A PLASTIC CHAIR AND ACT LIKE A TODDLER?!!
YOU JUST GOT DECKCED AFTER THE TODDLER ATE YOUR KNEES ?!?
YOU GOT HIT IN THE FACE BY A PAIR KNEES THAT A TODDLR STOLE
YOU GOT HIT BY A PAIR OF CHEESES THAT YOU STOLE??!!
YOURE HOUSE GOT KRAFT SINGLEd?!?!
YOU WERE FORCED TO EAT ONLY KRAFT SINGLES NOT EVEN MELTED FOR THREE DAYS ?!!!?
YOU ARE AN IDIOT SANDWHICH,??!
YOU ARE A SUBWAY SANDWICH WITH TERIYAKI SAUCE??!
YOU BROUGHT A SANDWHICH ON YHE TRAIN AND THE SAUCE EXPLODED EVERYWHERE
YOUR TRAIN RAN OVER A KETCHUP PACKET AND THEN IT EXPLODED ON YOU??
YOUR WERE IN A TRAIN MADE IF KETUCp?!?!
YOU ARE A CONDUCTOR IN THOMAS THE TRAIN ?!! WHY ARE YOU SPILLING KETCHUP EVERYWHERE
THOMAS THE TRAIN IS COVERED IN BLOOD?!
YOU KILLED THOMAS THE TRAIN?!!???????
THOMAS IS DEAD?!?!
Finally, thank the Great Flame
YOU KILLED MARIA BECAUSE YOU SMELL BAD?!?!?!?
MARIA IS GOING TO DIE BRUTALLY BY THE BLACK KNIGHT AND THE PLOT DEMANDS IT?!?
THE PLOT IS GOING TO BE THROWN OUT THE WINDOW???
I AM GOING TO THROW YOU OUT A WINDOW?!
i hAVE THROWN YOU OUT OF THE WINDOW BEFORE YOU COULD EVEN BLINK?!!
YOU THREW OUT THE ENTIRE WINDOW THROUGH ANOTHER WINDOW?!
THE WINDOW BROKE BECAUSE YOU THREW IT AT SUPERMAN!!!????
SUPERMAN FLEW THREW MY HOUSE?!
SUPERMAN HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH YOUR HOUSE AND THEN APOLOGIZED BUT YOUR FACE IS STILL UGLY??
SUPERMAN MADE ME MORE HANDSOME AFYER I WAS HIT BY A TRUCK HE WAS DRIVIN?!
TEN TIMES ZERO IS STILL ZERO??
YOU TRIED TO DIVIDE BY ZERO AND CREATED A BLACK HOLE THAT IS GOING TO KILL US ALL?!?
YOU ATE A BLACK HOLE AND NOW YOU GOT TURNED INSIDE OUT
YOU ARE A AMEOBA BOW
I SHOOT AMOEBAE WITH ARROWS AND A WAR BOW!!!!
YOU ARE THE FIRST HORSEMAN WHO RIDES ON A WHITE HORSE AND HAS A CROWN AND BOW KNOWN AS CONQUEST AND IS THE FIRST OF THE FOUR HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE?!
SOMEONES HEART IS UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS BUT YOU CAN STILL HEAR IT AND THEN YOU GO A LITTLE CRAZY, NOT BECAUSE YOU RAN INTO THE WALLS BUT BECAUSE YOU CAN ALWAYS HEAR IT AND IT IS A CONSTANT REMINDER OF WHAT YOU DID??
THERE IS A RAVEN KNOCKING AT YOUR CHAMBER DOOR?
YOUR ACQUAINTANCE INSULTED YOU REALLY BADLY SO TO GET BACK AT HIM YOU LURE HIM TO THE VAULTS BY PROMISING HIM THAT THERE IS A CASK OF AMONTILLADO AND THAT IF HE DOESNT WANT TO TRY IT, NO WORRIES BECAUSE YOU CAN JUST GET HIS COMPETITOR TO TRY IT
THIS GUY IS REALLY INTO WINE SO HE GOES DOWN AND YOU KEEP INTOXICATING HIM WHILE YOU BOTH WALK TOWARDS THE SUPPOSED CASK
AND EVENTUALLY YOU CHAIN HIM TO THE STONE AND ENCLOSE HIM IN THAT TINY CRYPT SO THAT HE WILL DIE OF STARVATION AND THIRST BUT HES TOO DRUNK TO RECOGNIZE WHAT IS HAPPENING UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE
YOUR HEART FEELS SICK AND YOU CLAIM IT IS DUE TO THE DAMPNESS OF THE CATACOMBS BUT ACTUALLY HMM MAYBE IS IT GUILT?!!???
Anyways its been like fifty years so this whole thing is already unreliable because there is no proof of the insulting and if it actually deserves punishment, and it has been HALF A CENTURY
YOURE FRIEND DOCTOR JEKYLL IS BEING CORRUPTED BY A STRANGE AND EVIL FELLOW NAME MR HYDE AND MR HYDE KILLS A MAN AND TGEN JEKYLL FORSAKES HIM AND STARTS TO BE DOING A LOT BETTER UNTIL OUT OF NO WHERE HE SHUTS EVERYONE OUT AGAIN
A BUNCH OF BOYS GET STRANDED ON A TROPICAL IDLAND AND THEN THERE IS A HUGE ARGUMENT ON HOW THEY LEAD THEMSELVES AND THEN PEOPLE GET THEIR ROLES BUT ACTUALLY THERES A BEAST!!! AND THE BEAST PROMPTS THEM TO START KILLING AND RETURN TO THEIR PRIMAL STATES AND NO THIS IS NOT SOCIAL COMMENTARY ON JUST HUMAN NATURE ITS ACTUALLY SN ANTI WAR BOOK BECAUSE WAR DOES THINGS TO HUMANS THAT COULD BE COMPARED TO WHAT THE BOYS ENDED UP DOING ON THAT ISLAND??
A MAD SCEIENTIST WHO ISBT NO WHETE CLOSE TO BEIMF A DOCTOR CREATES LIFE AND TGEN ABANDONS IT RIGHT AFTER
THIS ABSOLUTE LOSER OF A MIDDLE AGED MAN DEVELOPS A REALLY WEIRD CRUSH/SOMEWHAT RECIPROCATED RELATIONSHIP(???? I didn’t understand this part) WITH A TWENTY YEAR OLD AND THEY ARE BOTH WORKING FOR THE GOVERNMENT IN A WORLD OF CONSTANT WAR AND CONSTANT SURVEILLANCE AND ACTUALLY THEY BOTH GET CAUGHT FOR WORKING FOR A RESISTANCE AND ITS OVERALL KIND OF A WEIRD STORY BUT APPARENTLY IT PARALLELS THE USSR??
THREE FRIENDS GET INVITED TO AN ANCIENT CASTLE BY AN OLD COUNT AND ONE OF THEM GETS KILLED
IN A DYSTOPIAN WORLD THERE ARE WOMEN WHO ARE BASICALLY JUST USED TO BRING CHILDREN INTO THE WORLD AND THEN THEY DO THAT BECAUSE THE WIVES OF THE HIGHER UPS ARE OLD OR SOEMTHING
ANYWAYD THE GOVERNMENT TOOK THIS ONE WOMANS CHILD SO SHE IS TRYING TO ESCAPE AND THEN SHE MEETS AN ILD FRIEND AN THEN THERES SOME UNDERGROUND RAILROAD!!? IDK I actually didntfinis this one
THERES A DETECTIVE GUY WHOS SUPER SMART AND IS IN GAY LOVE WITH HIS BEST FRIEND??
THERE IS AN UNORTHODOX YOUNG LADY WHO IS SUPPOSED TO MARRY SOME NICE MR BIBGSOMETHING BUT ACTUALLG HIS BROODING NOBLE FRIEND COMES ALONG SO THEY BOTH SQUABBLE A LITTLE AND THEN FALL IN LOVE?? BUT IT TAKES 13 CHAPTERS FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN AT ALL REGARDING THE GUY??
THERE IS TWO BROTHERS YHST TRAVEL AROUND TBE UNITED STATES PICKING FIGHTS WITH THE SUPERNATURAL, GODS, DEMONS, AND ANGELS AND ONE OF THE BROTHERS IS IN GAY LOVE WITH AN ANGEL?!?!!?!
THERE IS AN ANGEL AND A DEMON THAT ARE DEFINITELY IN LOVE BUT THEY HAVE TO WATCH OVER THE ANTICHRIST WXCEPT THE TWO CHILDREN GOT SWAPPED AT BIRTH!! SO THEY HAVE TO GO FIND THE REAL ANTICHRIST BUT ANYWAYS THE DEMON CONFESSES AND THEN THE ANGEL RUNS AWAY
TH ANGELS ARE ATTACKING HUMANITY AND THE ARCHANGEL GABRIEL IS LEADING THEM BUT THE ARCHANGEL MICHEAL IS FIGHTING ANGANIST THE ANGELS AND IS IN A DINER PROTEXTING THIS LADY
THIS ONE GUY IS BALD AND HAS AN ARROW ON GOOD HEAD AND ALSO IS A LITTLE ANNOYING BUT WHATEVER HE’S TWELVE AND HE HAS TO DEFEAT THE EVIL FIRE LORD BUT ACTUALLY HE’S TWELVE
A GREEN GUY HATES CHRISTMAS AND ENACTS REVENGE AGANIST A VERY LOUD, BRIGHT AND HAPPY TOWN BY STEALING CHRISTMAS BUT THEN EVENTUALLY JOINS THEM AND HIS HEART GROWS A SIZE WHICH SHOULD PROBABLY KILL HIM BUT IT DOESNT
THERE IS A BOY WHO IS REALLY POOR BUT HE BUYS CHOCOLATE AND FINDS A GOLDEN TICKET SO HE GETS A FREE TOUR OF THR FAMOUS CHOCOLATE FACTORY EXCEPT I GUESS OSHA DOESNT EXIST YET SO THERE ARE NO SAFETY RULES PUT IN PLACE AND ALSO THE CHOCOLATE GUY IS A BAD PERSON AND IS INFURIATING
A HIGH SCHOOLER BUYS A REALLY COOL YELLOW CAR FOR HIS FIRST CAR AND THEN METORS FALL TOWARDS EARTH AND ROBOTS COME OUT OF THEN AND THE CAR IS A ROBOT AND THEN EVIL BADS START APPEARING TO TRY AND FREE THEIR LEADER?!
THIS FOURTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL WHOS PARENTS HAVE A BAKERY LIVES IN PARIS AND IS CRUSHING OVER THIS GUY WHO IS FAMOUS BECAUSE HES A MODEL AND NEPO BABY AND HIS FACE IS EVERYWHERE!! ALSO THEY ARE BOTH SUPERHEROES AND THERES A LOVESQUARE
A BABY FALLS FROM SPACE AFTER THEIR HOME WORLD EXPLODED AND IS ADOPTED AND RAISIED BY A FAMILY IN KANSAS AND THEN FIGHTS EVIL AND THIS BALD RICH DUDE??!
THIS GUY WHO I ONCE THOUGHT WAS REALLY FINE BUT NOW I HAVE COME TO MY SENSES AND REALIZED HE IS JUST TALL IS A FIGHTER PILOT WHO IS ACTING REALLY STUPID AND BREAKS THE RULES TOO MUCH UNTIL IT GETS HOME IN TROUBLE ALSO THE AGE GAP BETWEEN HIS ROLE AND THE ACTOR IS RALLY FUNNY AND ALSO WHAT WAS I DOING THINKING THAT
A KIDS PARENTS GOT MURDED IN A DARK ALLEY INFRONT OF HIM AND NOW AFTER YEARS OF TRAINING HE COMES BACK TO HOME CITY AND IS WAGING A ONE MAN CRUSADE AGANIST CRIME
THIS BOY GOT FLATTENED BY A BULLETIN BOARD SO NOW HE COULD BE SENT IN MAIL ACROSS THE WORLD BECAUSE HE WAS AS THIN AS A PAPER
THIS GUY AND A ROBOT WHO HE TRANSLATES ARE BEST FRIENDS AND ROOMMATES AND THEY TEACH US SCIENCE AND OTHER STUFF
THESE TWO KIDS CASUALLY HAVE A MAGIC TREEHOUSE THAT ALLOWS THEM TO VISIT DIFFERENT TIME PERIODS SO THEY LEARN ABOUT HISTORY AND SAMURAI AND DINOSAURS AND TSUNAMIS ETC
THIS ECCENTRIC TEACHER HAS A MAGIC SENTIENT SCHOOL BAS YHAT CAN TIME TRAVEL ANS SHRINK ABD STUFF AND TAKE KIDS ON ETHICSLLY AMBIGOUS FIELD TRIP
THESE TWO BROTHERS AND THEIR THREE FRIENDS GO ON MISSIONS TO PROTECT THE WILDLIFE FROM THESE EVIL BILLAINS WHO REALLY JUST LOVE MAKING UNETHICAL FASHION CHOICES AS WELL AS COOKING WITH EBDANGERED SPECIES ANS I FORRGOT WHAT THE OTHER ONE DID BUT ANYWAYS THEY TRANSFORM INTO THE ANIMALS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THEM AND TO GET RID OF THE VILLAINS
A TEN YEAR OLD KID GOES OFF INTO THE WORLD HIS BEST FRIEND. WHICH IS A LIGHTENING RAT AND MEETS ALL THESE OTHER PEOPLE AND PARTICPATES IN A LEGAL ANIMAL BATTLING COMPETION?!
THIS KID CAN TRAVEL TO OTHER PLACES BY WALKING THROUGH HIS BUSHES AND HE HAS A FRIEND WHO IS A YELLOW RECTANGULAR PRISM AND ALSO A HUMAN GIRL WHO ALL GO ON ADVENTURES AND SOLVE MYSTERIES TOGETHWR
A GOVERNMENT ASSASSIN IS KILLED IN ACTION AND MAKES A DEAL WITH YHE DEVIL SO THAT HE CAN SEE HIS WIFE ONE MORE TIME AND THEN HE AWAKES IN A LIVING SUIT THAT JS ATTACHED TO HIM AND HE LOOKS LIKE A ZOMBIE AND THEN HE STARTS FIGHTING CRIME, HELL AND HEAVEN
tHIS FUNNY DETECTIVE GUY WORKS IN BROOKLYN WITH SOME OTHER INTERESTING DETECTIVE PEOPLE AND A CAPTAIN AND A SERGEANT AND THERES THIS GUY WHO STEALS PONTIACS AND IS IN A STRANGE LIMBO BETWEEN FRIEND AND ENEMY
FOUR MEDDLING KIDS AND A TALKING DOG SOLVE MYSTERIES AND ITS USUAL OLD GUYS DRESSED AS MONSTERS COMMITING FRAUD
THIS DYSLEXIC GIRL GETS BULLIED BY THESE STUPUD KIDS AND THEN SHE MEETS A GUY WHO USED TO GET MILK FROM HIS FAUCET INSTEAD OF WATER WHOS REALLY SMART AND THIS OTHER GIRL WHO IS JUST GENERALLY AMAZING AND THEN SHE BECOMES SUPER COOL AS WELL BECAUSE SHE FOUND HER PWOPLE SO NOW SHES NOT LONELY
THERE IS A FAMOUS SENTIENT CAR WHO IS THE BEST RACER IN THE WORLD AND THEN HE GETS LOST IN THIS SMALL TOWN
THIS RANDOM POLYNESIAN GIRL IS ACTUALLY NOT RANDOM AND IS THE DAUGHTER OF THE CHIEF ANS SHE WANTS TO GO INTO THE OCEAN AND EXPLORE BUT EVERYONE SAYS NO AND SHE MEETS A DEMIGOD
THIS NERD WITH GLASSES GETS BIT BY A RADIOACTIVE SPIDER AND THEN DOESNT NEED GLASSES ANYMORE AND THEN GETS BUFF and FIGHTS CRIMINAL
THIS RANDOM GUY GETS LOCKED INTO A TNG FOR AN EXPERIMENT DURING WORDL WAR TWO I THINK AND THEN GET GETS REALLY BUFF ANS CAN MAYBE FLY I FORGOT
THERES ALIENS ARE INVADINT FROM MARS AND THEY ARE KICKING OUR ASSES UNTIL SUDDEBLY THEY ALL STSRT DYING
TINY ALIEN CELL THINGS ARE EATING OUR SUN AND WE HAVE TO STOP IT SO THE SPACE PEOPLE SEND THIS RANDOM TO GO TO SPACE AND HE MEETS A ROCK
A ARTIFICAL KILLING MACHINE ALIEN THING CRASHES ON TO EARTH AND MEETS A LITTLE GIRL AND BOTH LEARN THE MEANING OF FAMILY AND THAT FAMILY DOESNT END IN BLOOD
LADY JANE GREY IS NOT BEGEADED IMMEDIATELY AND ALSO MARRIES A HORSE BUT SHE DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS A HORSE BECAUSE IN THE DAY HE IS A OKAY LOOKING MALE ANYWAYS THE NARRATOR IS REALLY FUNNY
FIVE ESTRANGED CHILDREN WHO WERE ALL APDOTED BY THIS RICH GUY COME BACK AFTER HIS DEATH AND THEY ALL HAVE SUPER POWERS AND THEY HAVE TO STOP THE END OF THE WORLD
THIS GIRL MEETS THINGUY AND THEY ARE TOTAL OPPOSITES BUT OF COURSE! OPPOSITES ATTRACT AND THEN THRY SPEND LIKE SEVEN SUMMERS BEING STUPID AND THEN THERE IS A RAIN SCENE BRCAUSE OF COURSE THERE IS AND THEN OF COURSE THEY CONFESS AND THEN I DONT REMEMBER ACTUALLY HOW IT ENDS I WATCHED THIS YESTERDAY AND DOD NOT LOCK IN
A GROUP OF SOLDIERS GO INTO THE JUNGLE TO FIND A DOWNED HELICOPTER AND THEY THINK A GUERRILLA GROUP IS RESPONSIBLE AND THERR IS A HUGE GUNFIGHT WITH TGEM AND THEN THEY ARE MOVING THROUGH THE JUNGLE AND A SPACE MONSTER PICKS THEM OFF ONE BY ONE AND IS HUNTINH THEM AND ITS INVISBLE AND then the MAIN GUY FIGHTS IT WITH A BOW AND ARROWS AND MORE AND WINS
THERE IS THIS COP GUY WHO IS LIKE FIFTY YEARS OLD AND HE WAS A CONSTRUCTUON WORKER BEFORE THIS ANYAYS HE COMES TI LOS ANGELES AND EVERYONE MAKES FUN IF HIM BUT ACTUALLY HES A GOOD POLICE OFFICER
A COP GETS STUCK IN AN OFFICE BUILDING DURING A CHRISTMAS PARTY AFTER IT GETS TAKEN OVER BY TERRORISTS AND HE FIGHTS THEM ALL OFF AND SAVES EVERYONE AND THERES EXPLOSIONS
THIS GUY PUTS AN EXPLOSIVE ON A BUS SO THAT IF IT EVER GOES BELOW 25 mPH IT EXPLODES SO KEANU REEVES HAS TO NOW DRIVE THE BUS AND LOOP THE IMAGE SO THAT THE GUY DOESNT NOTICE BUT ACTUALLY HE NOTICES SO NOW THEY ARE IN DANGER
AlSO THERE IS AN ELEVATOR FOR SOME REASON AJD THE PEOPLE GET STUCK I THINK
KEANU REEVES DOG GETS KILLED AND HIS HOUSE, CAR AND MORE GET DAMAGED AND HE GOES BACK TO HIS HITMAN WAYS AND GOES ON KILLING SPREE
a SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD ROBS PLACES TO PAY FOR HIS GRANDMOTHWRS MEDICINE BUT HE GETS CAUGHT AND PUT IN A PRISON FOR MINORS AND THEN HE RUNS AWAY A BUNCH OF TIMES AND FINALLY ESCAPES ONCE BECAUSE HE LOST HIS DOG SO HE GOES INTO THE CITY AND DOES SOME STUFF HWRE IS WHERE I TOOK A NAP AND THEN I WOKE UP AND THEY WERE TALKING TO A GUY WHILE A COW WAD EATING THE CURTAINS
A TALKING BEAR LIVING IN THE JUNGLE WITH HIS FAMILY AND HE LOVE MARMALAIDE HAS TO GO TO LONDON AFTER AN EVENT AND MUST MAKE HIS WAY THROUGH LONDON WITH NEW FAMILY AND THEN. GOES TO PRISON
THIS BEAR LIVES WITH A FOUR YEAR OLD SOMEHWERRE AND HES IN LOVE WITH A FEMALE BEAR AND THE GIRL KEEPS GETTING IN THE WAY IF HIS LOVE STORY
THREE BEARS GO ON A WALK AND A BLONDE HAIRES CHILD BREAKS INTO THEIR HOUSE, EATS THEIR FOOD, SITS IN THEIR CHAIRS AND THEN SLEEPS IN THE BEARs’ BED?!?
A BUNCH OF ANIMALS LIVE IN A SUBMARINE THING SHAPED LIKE AN OCTOPUS AND THEN THEY EXPLORE AND HELP THE ANIMALS GET OUT OF TROUBLE AND THEY ARE REALLY COOL
AN ANNOYING BALD ASS LITTLE SHIT FUCKING TODDLER IS SUCH A WINY ASS MOTHERFUCKER AND GETS EVERYTHING HE WANTS BECAUSE HIS GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING SPINELESS PARENTS CAN’T SAY NO AND HE IS SUCH AN OBNOXIOUS LITTLE BITCH AND HIS THEME SONG IS FUCKING ANNOYING AND HIS GODDAMN NAME IS SO GOD DAMN DUMB THAT NOT EVEN ONE THE FAE WOULD WANT TAKE IT
THIS BABY IS ACTUALLY A BOSS OR SOEMTHING AND THERE IS A COMPANY FULL OF BABIES THAT GO ON MISSIONS AND THIS BROTGER ISNT SUPPOSED TO KNOW BUT HE FINDS OUT AND THEN HELPS HIS BROTHER (THE BABY) BUT ALSO THE BABY IS REALLY ANNOYING AND OVERALL SHOULD MAYBE TONE IT DOWN A BIT
A LION HIPPO ZEBRA AND GIRAFFE GET ABDUCTSD AS CHILDREN AND THROWN INTO A ZOO AND THEN. THEY TRY TO ESCALE AND MAKE IT BACK TO THEIR HOMELAND
THIS GIRL IS LOCKED IN A TOWER BY A RANDOM LADY BECAUSE SHES ACTUALLY THE PRINCESS AND HAS MAGIC HAIR ANYWAYD THIS RANDOM GUY COMES TO HER TOWER AND CLIMBS IN AND SHE HITS HIM WITH A FRYING PAN
THE STEP MOTHER AND STEP SISTERS ARE REALLY MEAN TO THIS ONE GIRL AND THE FSMILY GETS IVITED TO A BALL AND THE RHE SNEAKS IN WITH THE HELP FROM AN OLD FSIRY
tHE GIRL HAS TO GO GIVE A BASKET OF STUFF TO HER GRANDMOTHER BUT THERES A WOLF DRESSED AS THE GRANDMOTHER AND SHE CANT TELL BY JUST LOOKING ST THE WOLF AND SHE HAS TO ASK HIM QUESTIONS ABOUT IT
YOU MET A HUMAN SIZED TALKING WOLF AND IT GSVE YOU PIE?????
YOUR TALKING WOLF WAS PIE SHAPED AND SOMEONE ATE IT??
THERE WAS A PARASITE IN THE PIE AND NOW IT IS MAKING THE WOLF DANCE????
YOU GOT THE DANCING PLAGUE OF 1518?????
YOU WERE HUGGING A BUNCH OF RATS AND NOW HAVE THE BLACK DEATH!!?!?!?!
YOU ARE A LITTLE RAT WHO IS HELLBENT ON GIVING PEOPLE THE BLACK DEATH???
THE ANGEL OF DEATH IS COMING FOR YOU IN THE FORM OF A RAT
THE DEATH RAT IS NOT AN ANGEL BECAUSE THEY ARE IN THE TRASH RIVER
THE TRASH LOOKS LIKE A BIBLICALLY ACCURATE ANGEL AND IT YELLING “BE NOT AFRAID”
THE TRASH ANGEL IS SCARED OF YOU BECAUSE YOU SMELL SO BAD
I SMELL BETTER THAN THE TRASH ANGEL AND IT SAID THAT YOU SMELL EVEN WORSE THAN IT?!???
YOU ARE THE TRASH THAT LIVES IN THE DUMPSTER THAT IS VERY FAR AWAY FROM ME AND THE GARBAGE TRUCK RAN AWAY FROM YOU BECAUSE YOU STANK UP THE WHOLE BLOCK
YOU ARE THE GRUMPY TRASH MONSTER FROM SEASME STREET
YOU ARE HELLMO BUT THE FIRE WENT OUT
HELL FROZE OVER AND LUCIFER IS SAD
LUCIFER FROZE THE ONLY DELI IN HELL
LUCIER IS COMING TO EARTH AND OPENING A DELI
LUCIFERS DELI IS GOING TO GET SHUT DOWN AND REPLACED BY A SMOOTHIE JOINT BECAUSE THE LANDLOED MIGHT NOT RENEW THE LEASE
THE LAND IS BEING LOANED AT TO MAKE A SMOOTHIE DELI FUSION PLACE AND THEY ARE MAKING DELI MEAT SMOOTHIES?????????????????
THE DELI MEAT SANDWICH SMOOTHIES LED TO A HEALTH CODE VIOLATION AND GAVE PEOPLE SALMONELLA????!!
THE SALMON SANDWHICH IS TRYING TO BECOME THE HEATH CODE
THE HEALTH INSPECTOR GAVE SALMON TO THE CODE
INSPECTOR GADGET ARRESTED A HUMAN SIZED SALMON
INSPECTOR GADGET TOOK HIS HAT OFF AND TURNED INTO A SALMON HATCHERY????
THE SALMON ARE ATTACKING THE WOLTD AND YAKING OVER
THE WORLD BURNT ALL OF THE SALMON ALIVE BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT SPAWNING PROPERLY
THE SALMON ARE SUMMONIG THE GREAT SALMON GOD TO BRING PEACE TO THE WORLD
THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT THE SALMON DEMON IS TO EAT ALL THE FISH IN THE FISHERIES AND MAKE SURE THEY DONT DIE
THE FISH ARE BECOMING A GIANT DEMON SO GBEY CAN EAT THE SUN
THE SUN ATE THE DEMON IN YOUR HEAD THAT IS SCREWING EVERYTHING UP BECAUSE MAGICAL VITAMIN D POWERS OR SOMETHING
THE DEMON STILL CLAWED ITS WAY BACK OUT AND IS DOING ITS USUSL STUFF
OK THATS FINE BUT ACTUALLY I TOOK THE SUN AND PUT IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD SO THAT YOUR HEAD DEMON DIED ANS ALSO NOW YOUR HEAD IS BIGGER THAN MINE
THE DEMON ATE THE SUN
OK ILL JUST MAKE A NEW SUN BECAUSE IM REALLY COOL STALKERISH ELDRITCH BEING AND WE WILL GET YOU VITAMIN D SUPPLEMENTA ALSO
VITAMEN D IS SENTIENT AND TRYING TO KILL ME
DEODORANT DOES NOT KILL ANYONE I THINK SO PEOPLE IN WARM AND CROWDED PLACES SHOULD USE IT PLEASE
YOU USE ENOUGHT COLONGE TI MAKE A DIVINE COUGH????
YOU SMELL SO BAD THAT THE GODS STARTED CHOKING
THE GODS CAME DOWN AND STEEL CHAIRED YOU FOR BEING SHORT???
THE GODS STEEL CHAIRED YOU FOR SHORT CIRCUITING
THE CIRCUITS ARE COMING ALICE AND MAKING CHAIRS
HE IS HAVING FUN WITH ALICE AT THE BAR WHILE THE CIRCUITS BECOME THE QUEEN OF HEARTS?!!
ALICE IS HITING THE QUEEN OF HEARTS WITH A STEEL CHAIR
THE QUEEN OF HEARTS IS SECRETLY A HUGE FAN OF THE WINTER SO SHE IS BLASTING ICICLES AT ALICE
THE KING OF ICE IS MARRIED TO THE QUEEN OF HEARTS AND THEY LOVE BEATING THE SUN UP???
THE SUN LOVES PUNISHING THE KINGDOM BY MAKING DROUGHTS BECAUSE THE KINGDOMS EQUIVALENT OF RASPUTIN CURSED EVERYONE???!
RASPUTINH HAD AFDAIE WITH YHE SJNS WIFE
tHE MOON WAS EATEN BY RASPUTIN AND HE SWALLOWED IT AND FULLY DIGESTED EVERYTHING
THE MOON THREW RASPUTIN INTO THE SUN AND GE SURVIVED AND IS NOW MARRIED TO THR SUN
RASPUTIN DID NOT GET MARRIED TO THE SUN AND INSTEAD GOT BEAT UP BY THE MOON DURING SOLAR ECLIPSE PF 1912
RASPUTIN GOT DIVORCED BY THE SUN BUT IS TRYING TO WIN THE SUN BACK BECAUSE HE LOVES THE SUN SO MUCH AND THE MOON IS SO JEALOUS????????
THE SUB GOT DISGUSTED BECAUSE RASPUTIN FELL ON HIS FACE AND DID NOT CHARM THE SUN AT ALL SO THE MOON CAME AND BEAT HIM UP AGAIN AND THEN THE SUN AND THE MOON BOTH LEFT
RASPUTIN STOLE A SUBMaRINE AND GOING INTO SPACE TO FIGHT THE MOON KVER THE SUN
THE SUBMARINE BLEW UP BECAUSE THE REMOTE CONTROLLER WAS XBOX OR SOMTHING I FORGOT SO BASICALLY RASPUTIN IS OHT OF THE PICTURE NOW
XBOX IS MAKING A NEW SUBMARINE VIDEO GAME FOR RASPUTIN TO
Be PUT INTO SO
He CAN LIVE OUT HOS DREAM OF MARRYING THE SUN
RIGHT BUT ITS ACTUALLY A NUCLEAR BOMB SO HE GOT NUKED AND HAD TO DIE I GUESS
BUT WHEN THE PLAYERS TRY TO RESTART THE GAME IT DOESNT REGENERATE RASPUTIN AND THEY AN NEVER PLAY AS HIM AGAIN
RASPUTIN ATE A NUKE TO PROVE TO THE SUN THAT HE IS AN EXCELLENANT LOVEER
THE MOON LOCKS RASPUTIN IN A BASEMENT WITH A NUKE AND THEN THEY RAN AWAY TOGETHER (nuke and rasputin)
THE MOON TRIES TO NUKE RASPUTIN BUT HE GRABS IT AT THROWS IT BACK THE MOON
THE MOON THROWS RASPUTIN INTO THE GROUND SO HARD HE LEAVES AN IMPACT CRATER WITH A DIAMETER OF 3892849393 kiloMETERS???
THE MOON KISSES RAPUTIN
NO THE MOON FAKE KISSES RASPUTIN BUT ACTUALLY BITES HIS TONGUE OFF SO HE BLEEDS AND HAS NO TONGUE
THRY KISS WITH TONGUE BUT RASPUTIN IS ONLY DOING IT TO GET THE MOON IN TO A POSISIOTN YO STAB IY SO HE CAN BE WITH HIS ONE TRUE LOVE, the sun
THE SUN SAW THAT THE MOON WAS STABBED BY RASPUTIN AND SWORE TO AVENGE ITS ONE TRUE LOVE BY KILLING RASPUTIN ONCE AND FOR ALL
RHE SUN IS AVENGING RASPUTIN CAUSE THE MOON STABBED HIM BUT HE CAME BACK
THE SUN GOT CLOSE TO RASPUTIN AND BURNED HIM ALIVE SO HIS BODY WAS TURNED TO ASH???
RASPUTIN KISSEF THE SUN AND GOT ASH ALL OVER HUM SINXE THE MOON GOT TURNED TO ASH
THE MOON BLASTED RASPUTIN WITH HOT SAUCE AND PEPPER SPRay SO RASPUTIN RAN AWAY AND THE MOON AND SUN COULD HAVE A HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER
RASPUTIN STE PEPPER SPRAY AMD HOT SAUXE TO PROVE HIS LOVE
RASPUTIN ATE PEPPER SPRAY AND HOT SAUCE BUT HE RUINED HIS THROAT SO HE CANT SPEAK EVER AGAIN
RASPUTIN ATE SO MUCH PEPPERS HE BURPED FIRE So HOT IT KILLED THE MOON SO NOW HIM AND THR SUN CAN. BE TOGETHER
THE FIRE WAS ACTUALLY A MUSHROOM CLOUD AND HE ENDED UP KILLING HOMES TOO SO EVERYONE EXCEPT THE SUN DIED
ok but legitimately i think the reason why kids aren’t taking internet safety seriously is because the people who are telling us not to put our personal information out seem so out of touch. no one acknowledges the possibility of meeting very real teenaged friends online, they always say that everyone you meet is a 40 year old white man in disguise. because they aren’t acknowledging things we know are true, it becomes a lot easier to dismiss the rest of what they’re saying as well. internet safety lessons absolutely must keep up with the times and acknowledge the internet’s capacity for good if you want kids to take to heart warnings about its capacity for bad.
Some actual safety tips for teenagers:
1. Have proof they're a teenager first. More than just a picture, have a video call with them.
2. If you want to meet up with them, have your parents or a trusted adult come with you. Even if they are a proven teenager, its still good to have supervision in case any issues happen.
3. If you are talking to an adult, and they start being sexual in any way, you run the fuck away. It doesn't matter if they're 40 or 20. An adult inherently has a power dynamic that teenagers do not. And its up to the adult to act responsible about it. There's exceptions of course, if you're 16 and dating an 18 year old, that's not a problem, we're not talking about that.
4. Being in a server with adults or ran by adults is not inherently bad. Talking to adults is not inherently a problem, and will likely happen in any number of Discord servers. It is only an issue when they are acting sexual and show predatory behavior.
5. Look out for grooming behavior. It can be difficult, because at first it seems like innocuous behavior, like complimenting or giving gifts. Especially if you feel lonely and have low self esteem. And groomers actively target people like that.
If they start trying to isolate you, talk sexual with you, state they depend on you for emotional needs, blame you for their own actions, try to be secretive about the relationship- Then you need to talk to people you trust, block the perpetrator, and call the police on them.
6. If this does happen to you, remember this: It is not your fault. Even if you didn't listen to a single thing listed here, it is not your fault. It is the fault of the adults who knew better, and didn't care. It's not your fault.
To my followers: if any of you guys are underaged, please be very VERY careful on here, and don’t fall for any of the tricks the groomer would use on you, just block them and report them.
Rocky truly is the character of all time. He’s been alone for so long he fully jumpscares the first living being he encounters. He is so smart. He is kinda dumb. He’s naked 24/7. His mate is on average 18 times bigger than him. He is autistic. He has adopted a squishy wet cat of a platonic boyfriend/soulmate. He is living in a romcom about a soldier coming back to his awesome partner after all the years of suffering. His platonic boyfriend is constantly in fight or flight. He makes one (1) intentional joke. He is saved by a being named mercy and patience. He unintentionally recreated five feet apart bc they can never touch. He learns how to hug anyway. He saves both planets through the power of friendship and stubbornness and a frankly alarming lack of self preservation. He hates Mark just cause. He rewrites the bro code.
New experiment!
Reblog if you platonically say I love you to ur friends, comment or like if you think that's weird!

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New experiment!
Reblog if you platonically say I love you to ur friends, comment or like if you think that's weird!
Grace and Adrian having some kind of beef is so delightful to me I need to slowburn them they will be put in situations
why do nice girls always go for the assholes i dont even like pegging
No. Just. NO. I am so sick of this bullshit stereotype being both perpetuated AND played out. No.
Saying nice girls go with the assholes is the biggest stereotype in relationships of all time
We don’t go with assholes, we go with the people who give us attention at the right time and ignore us at the right time and it just so happens to be the people who don’t care about us and it’s stupid a/f
This post represents tumblr
Okay but like that’s the most true stereotype ever… so many dumb nice girls date douchebags lmao
ARE YOU SERIOUS
The problem is not that nice girls date assholes, it’s that nice girls *knowingly* date assholes and then have the nerve to complain and ask “why can’t I find a nice guy?”
And I will now stop before this becomes a rant.
You dont get this post do you? Lol
The comments are priceless.
So many people being clueless.
Douchebags always date douchebags. The kicker is douchebags have 0 self-awareness that they are douchebags so in turn they complain that “they can never find a nice guy/sane girl.”
Holy fuck man not you too
So many non-comprehending mother fuckers
Pure comedy gold.
Oh. My. Fucking. God.
This post is a perfect example of what people mean when we talk about how nobody on this godforsaken website has any fucking reading comprehension skills
after a long string of reblogs, deactivated users, and probably over 13 years on this site, I can say for certain, so that no user makes the mistake again:
THIS POST IS ABOUT GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS. thank you, and have a great night.
Imo the only cringe things in existence are AI and bigotry. Go read/write/draw that x reader fanfiction!!!!!! Go yumeshipping!!!!! Go be a furry!!!!! Have xenogenders and neopronouns!!!!!! Do whatever you want!!!!!! Nobody gives any shits unless they’re positive shits <3
If you’re a Non-Muslim and you see a Muslim praying in public, could you please not pass in front of them?
Go behind them, but not in front. 👍
Oh, signal boost! I didn’t know this.
Okay, but also: if you see a Muslim praying in public and they have something in front of them, like a purse or a bag or something like that, you can pass in front of them, but pass in front of that object.
it’s called a sutrah, and it’s meant to act as a physical barrier between the person praying and someone who might happen to pass in front.
Also, if you did this and didn’t know, please don’t beat yourself up over it. Now you know! Muslims aren’t supposed to pass in front of Muslims praying, either, because prayer is communication with God and you don’t want to break that connection.
Spread culture, respect customs, be good people. Simple as that.
Didn’t know this.
Reblogging again
THE AMOUNTS OF REBLOGS THIS HAS JUST MAKES ME SO HAPPY
S I G N A L B O O S T
Reblog forever !
Similarly, if a Jew is saying the Shemonah Esrei prayer (whispered, moving only the mouth, standing facing east with legs together) don’t go in front unless there’s a barrier.

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every second trans post i see on here is trying to pit trans people against each other were supposed to be better than this queer as in were all in this together not queer as in sell out each other to the cops
The real Themis.