Overheard Conversations In Chicago

I take smiles from the business men too!

Well if you hadn't chewed a hole in yours, you would still have a glove!

She's not weird looking like ugly, she's weird looking like her face..... Her nose was like so weird, she was almost like voldemort.

They look at my facebook page and they be like dayymmnnn.

Did you ever work with Jim? Jim the tall white man with the breasts.

I can't believe I took the stairs.. what was I thinking??

@nootherday

"It was amazing with fresh home made bread!" "You baked bread?!" "No!! I got it from the store!"

So grandma takes a five iron and chases the cows off the golf course...

Did she die when she fell off?" "No, she got run over.

I mean what am I going to do, NOT wear my high heels?! Pshhh!!

"You are going to be so drunk at church on Sunday!" "I know, I've basically just accepted that." "What kind of church do you go to?" "It's called agnostic, it means there are blacks, and puerto ricans, and mexicans. It's great!" "Oh my god. That is not what that means."

"Yea... I basically only vote green party."

"I can't see anything!!" "I love hats"

I smoke a pack a day, but I eat organic apples.

If I saw an apartment owned by Willie Wonka, fuck, I don't care how much it was, I would buy it.

Get a fucking job, asshole.