(III) THE EMPRESS.

carries it around like a treasure

mainly angst/fluff/themes surrounding love !

PLAINSONG

I think it’s dark and it looks like it’s rain.

The wind is blowing like it’s the end of the world.

It’s so cold, it’s like the cold if you were dead.

And then you smiled for a second.

I think I’m old and I’m feeling pain.

It’s all running out like it’s the end of the world.

Sometimes you make me feel like I’m living at the edge of the world.

It’s just the way I smile.

PICTURES OF YOU

I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they’re real.

I’ve been living so long with my pictures of you that I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel.

You were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow.

You finally found all your courage to let it all go.

You were stone white, so delicate, lost in the cold.

You were always so lost in the dark.

Remembering you how you used to be.

Hold for the last time, then slip away quietly.

I open my eyes, but I never see anything.

If only I’d thought of the right words, I could have held on to your heart.

If only I’d thought of the right words.

There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more than to feel you deep in my heart.

There was nothing in the world that I ever wanted more.

I’ve been looking so long for the words to be true.

CLOSEDOWN

I’m running out of time.

I’m out of step and closing down.

And uselessly always the need to feel again the real belief of something more than mockery.

If only I could fill my heart with love.

LOVESONG

You make me feel like I am home again.

You make me feel like I am whole again.

You make me feel like I am young again.

You make me feel like I am fun again.

However far away, I will always love you.

However long I stay, I will always love you.

Whatever words I say, I will always love you.

I will always love you.

Fly me to the moon.

You make me feel like I am free again.

You make me feel like I am clean again.

LAST DANCE

I’m so glad you came, I’m so glad you remembered.

Expectantly, too punctual, but prettier than ever.

I really believe that this time it’s forever.

A woman now standing where once there was only a girl.

The blindness, the happiness, falling down laughing.

But I really believed that this time was forever.

But Christmas falls late now, flatter and colder.

All this in an instant before I can kiss you.

And even if we drink, I don’t think we will kiss (in the way that we did).

LULLABY

I spy something beginning with ’S’.

And suddenly a movement in the corner of the room.

And there is nothing I can do.

It’s much too late to get away or turn on the light.

I know that in the morning I will wake up in the shivering cold.

Come into my parlour.

I have a little something here.

FASCINATION STREET

Let’s cut the conversation and get out for a bit

I feel it all fading and paling. 

I’m begging to drag you down with me to kick the last nail in.

Yeah, I like you in that.

I like you to scream.

But if you open your mouth then I can’t be responsible for quite what goes in or to care what comes out.

Just pull on your pout.

Let’s move to the beat like we know that it’s over.

If you slip going under, slip over my shoulder.

PRAYERS FOR RAIN

You shatter me.

Your grip on me - a hold on me so dull it kills.

You stifle me.

I suffocate, I breathe in dirt.

You fracture me.

Your hands on me - a touch so plain, so stale it kills.

You strangle me.

(You) entangle me in hopelessness.

I deteriorate, I live in dirt.

THE SAME DEEP WATER AS YOU

Kiss me goodbye, pushing out before I sleep.

Can’t you see I try?

Swimming the same deep water as you is hard.

And we shall be together.

Kiss me goodbye.

Bow your head and join with me.

So we shall be together.

The very last thing before I go.

I will kiss you.

I will kiss you forever on nights like this.

I will kiss you, and we shall be together.

DISINTEGRATION

Oh, I miss the kiss of treachery, the shameless kiss of vanity.

And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed.

Oh, I miss the kiss of treachery, the aching kiss before I feed.

But I never said I would stay to the end.

So I leave you with babies and hoping for frequency.

I leave you with photographs, pictures of trickery.

Both of us knew how the ending would be.

So it’s all come back round to breaking apart again.

I’m breaking apart like I’m made up of glass again.

I’m aking it up behind my back again.

I’m holding my breath for the fear of sleep again.

It’s coming apart again, over and over and over.

And now that I know that I’m breaking to pieces, I’ll pull out my heart and I’ll feed it to anyone.

I’m crying for sympathy. 

Crocodiles cry for the love of the crowd and the three cheers from everyone.

It’s easier for me to get closer to heaven than ever feel whole again.

Both of us knew how the end always is.

HOMESICK

Just one more and I’ll walk away.

All the everything you win turns to nothing today.

I forget how to move when my mouth is this dry.

And my eyes are bursting hearts in a blood-stained sky.

Oh it was sweet, it was wild.

Honey, cling to me…

So just one more, just one more go.

Inspire in me the desire in me to never go home.

UNTITLED

I’m down on my knees and my hands in the air again.

I’m pushing my face in the memory of you again.

But I never know if it’s real.

I never know how I wanted to feel.

I never quite said what I wanted to say to you.

I never quite managed the words to explain to you, never quite knew how to make them believable.

And now the time has gone, another time undone.

I’m feeling the monster climb deeper inside of me, feeling him gnawing my heart away hungrily.

 THE WITCHER SAGA SENTENCE STARTERS: the last wish edition

‘ And do you have a name? Any name will do, it’s simply to make conversation easier. ’

‘ Let it go. It’s a serious matter. Many have tried and failed already. ’

‘ This, my friend, is not the same as roughing up a couple of scoundrels. ’

‘ ______, you know our code of practice forbids us to speak of our work. ’

‘ Answer me unofficially, briefly and clearly: will it work or not? ’

‘ You inspire trust, although I know what a rogue you are. ’

‘ Oh, what’s the point of explaining, you wouldn’t understand anyway. ’

‘ Am I supposed to give you advice and teach you how to live? Am I your mother or something? ’

‘ It is customary, when faced with people who greet their guests with a roar and the cry that they’re going to tear you to pieces. ’

‘ If it wasn’t for that you’d have been out of this gate a long time ago, with my bootprint on your arse. ’

‘ One has to admit you can answer questions without using many words. ’

‘ I’m not in the habit of lying. ’

‘ So what am I? Cranberry pudding? ’

‘ You didn’t answer my question. Although… you probably did. ’

‘ So you are interested after all? You said things were fine as they are. ’

‘It’s my problem, my life and my punishment. I’ve learnt to put up with it. I’ve got used to it. If it gets worse, I’ll get used to that too. ’

‘ Scream your guts out. Lose your strength. And then I’ll slash your pretty little head off! ’

‘ You consider that an honor? I don’t. I consider it an insult. ’

‘ Quiet. Lower your voice. Have a care who you speak to like that. ’

‘ I’ve no time to waste. Winter’s coming. ’

‘ Women don’t have a say in my house. But, just between us, don’t do what you did during supper last time in front of her again. ’

‘ Destiny has many faces. Mine is beautiful on the outside and hideous on the inside. ’

‘ You’re talking nonsense while making wise and meaningful faces. Can’t you speak normally? ’

‘ I made it all the way here, hiding and running from a monstrous being that wants to murder me. ’

‘ Don’t get all puffed up like a frog – tell me what’s threatening you. We’ll see what can be done. ’

‘ To think the likes of you walk the earth. Who spawns you freaks? ’

‘ True Evil is something you can barely imagine, even if you believe nothing can still surprise you. And sometimes True Evil seizes you by the throat and demands that you choose between it and another, slightly lesser, Evil. ’

‘ I’m looking for general truths. And I’ve found one: lesser evils exist, but we can’t choose them. ’

‘ You’re standing on a flagstone running with blood, alone and so very lonely because you can’t choose, but you had to. ’

‘ Why are you looking at me like that? Yes, I deceived you. I’ll deceive anyone if I have to, why should you be special? ’

‘ They say silence is golden. Maybe it is, although I’m not sure it’s worth that much. It has its price certainly; you have to pay for it.  ’

‘I know my fate whirls about me like water in a weir. It’s hard on my heels, following my tracks, but I never look back. ’

‘ The world is changing. Something’s coming to an end.  ’

‘ The world is changing, the sun sets, and the vodka is coming to an end. What else, in your opinion, is coming to an end? ’

‘ I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m stating the facts. ’

‘ Something is coming to an end. Whether you like it or not, something’s coming to an end. ’

‘ I don’t like you mouthing banal platitudes. I don’t like your expression when you do it. What’s happening to you?  ’

‘ For someone who has lived such a short time, you show an astounding disdain for death. ’

‘An aftertaste in my mouth, dishevelled hair, sticky eyes and other morning inconveniences strongly affect my perceptive faculties. ’

‘ Don’t be embarrassed. I don’t faint at the sight of a naked (wo)man. One of my friends says if you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all. ’

‘ You’re wont to describe it using words which I greatly dislike, lapsing into pompous sarcasm with it, something I dislike even more. ’

‘ They’re not too crazy about me here. They might insult me and throw stones - or do something worse. ’

‘ Hold me. Tighter. I’m not made of china. ’

‘ It’s almost as though you thought a scorpion were prettier than a spider, because it’s got such a lovely tail. ’

‘ What’s this all about, ____? If it’s a game, I don’t know the rules. ’

‘ How should I answer your question? Let’s try this: it’s none of your damned business. Does that satisfy you? ’

‘ Don’t reproach yourself for it – I’m not easily satisfied. Only those who are above average have managed so far. ’

‘ Don’t pull that face, it doesn’t suit either your good looks or your complexion. ’

‘ I didn’t see the scorpion amidst the flowers. I’m prepared to pay for my inattention. ’

‘ A pretty speech. Touching and pompous. Pity it’s in vain. ’

‘ I’ve promised several people here something, and I always keep my promises. Since I won’t have time to do so myself, you’ll keep those promises for me. ’

‘ Don’t act out a farce for me, don’t try to charm me with your hard and insolent masculinity. You are the only one to think you’re insolent and hard. ’

‘ You’d pay any price. You’d lick my boots. And maybe something else, too, if I unexpectedly wished to amuse myself. ’

‘ You have to pay. For your insolence, for the cold way you look at me, for the eyes which fish for every detail, for your stony face and sarcastic tone of voice. ’

‘ To put it simply, you stated that a self-respecting man shouldn’t ever call a professional harlot a whore because it’s base and repugnant, while using the word whore to describe a woman one has never knocked off or paid any money for doing so, is childish and punishable. ’

‘ I don’t like grand words. I’m greatly, shall we say, fascinated by her/him. ’

‘ I’d have expected anything but to… What made you do it, ___ ? Why… Why me?’

‘ You’ve condemned yourself. Condemned yourself to me. ’

“when the enemy is committed to a mistake, we must not interrupt him too soon.”

“kiss me.”

“i could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if i did not keep a saving sense of humour.”

“my greatest happiess is to serve my gracious king and country.”

“i am envious only of glory.”

“firstly, you must always implicitly obey orders.”

“let me alone.”

“i have yet my legs and one arm.”

“tell the surgeon to make haste and his instruments.”

“i know i must lose my right arm, so the sooner it’s off, the better.”

“duty is the great business of a sea officer.”

“time is everything.”

“five minutes make the difference between victory and defeat.”

“desperate affairs require desperate measures.”

“in honour i gained them, and in honour i will die with them.”

“now i can do no more.”

“i have a right to be blind sometimes.”

“i really do not see the signal!”

as translated by me. trigger warning: some swearing, suicidal thoughts, but mostly completely sfw ! 

❝ Fall beside me, my fallen angel. ❞

❝ Don’t look into the sky, look into my eyes. ❞

❝ Let’s hide our tears from the strangers. ❞

❝ No one gets our sorrows. ❞

❝ Let’s forgive each other and never remember the past hurts. ❞

❝ My heart is in your hands. ❞

❝ No, I won’t be able to quietly make peace with this truth and surrender to my fate. ❞

❝ I won’t be able to live like I did before you, never being able to see the sky. ❞

❝ You’re in every window, in every passer-by, always somewhere around. ❞

❝ Here your time is flying beside mine. ❞

❝ Hold my heart in your hands, don’t ever let go. ❞

❝ Everything will pass, but be the shining white light on my way. ❞

❝ Let it be like it is supposed to be in this world. ❞

❝ Follow the winds. ❞

❝ Do believe: they will never be able to break the wings of your soul. ❞

❝ Be with me, even as a fleeting shadow, even as the last breath. ❞

❝ Be whatever you wish, I won’t be without you. ❞

❝ On the first day of spring, at the edge of the world, we met by accident. ❞

❝ White snow was falling, the roses were not blooming, but it was a spring love we fell in. ❞

❝ You were desperately beautiful. ❞

❝ On the first day of winter, at the edge of the world, by accident, we parted our ways. ❞

❝ Beautifully, you entered my (wrongful) life, and beautifully, you were gone. ❞

❝ You were playing, and you broke my soul. ❞

❝ It’s not a toy at all, it’s my heart. ❞

❝ Our love ended when the winter came. ❞

❝ But all was desperately beautiful. ❞

❝ Where is the best of times? It seems like it’s anywhere but here. ❞

❝ It’s hard for me to utter the best of names. ❞

❝ It’s hard but I desperately need it. ❞

❝ I can’t take this fate of mine if it’s not aligned with yours. ❞

❝ I don’t want to take your heart from those who can’t be without you anymore. ❞

❝ I only know the best about you. ❞

❝ I’m not scared of suffocating of love. ❞

❝ We live in the waking world, not in a dream, but I can’t seem to wake up. ❞

❝ I’ll say, ‘I love, and this is forever.' ❞

❝ Let it be ridiculous, let them laugh at me. ❞

❝ Constellations and cities are scattered across the world, but our planes in the sky will miss each other entirely. ❞

❝ Let the hundreds of random eyes look for random dramas. ❞

❝ Who of us will be the first to be split at the seams by sadness? ❞

❝ Know that we can’t stop the time, or hop off around the bend. ❞

❝ Each will have their own heaven. ❞

❝ I’ll take our tender days with me. ❞

❝ Everything that happened, will be revealed after time. ❞

❝ It’s not an end, not even a means. ❞

❝ Not a new, but anew. ❞

❝ The road is my home and it is not a place for love. ❞

❝ All the words will spill like rain. ❞

❝ There, where you are not waiting for me, may the night winds bring you coolness. ❞

❝ Only the dawn is reflected on our faces, answerless. The dawn where you are not waiting for me. ❞

❝ It’s as if the wind has blown away everyone else. ❞

❝ One more sip and we are burning: one, two, three, go! ❞

❝ Don’t wait or long for me. ❞

❝ Catch my rhythm; dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance! ❞

❝ We’ve strangely found ourselves beside each other. ❞

❝ Now we’re taking whiskey, and in our heads, all thoughts are tangled. ❞

❝ I want to fall asleep and never wake up. ❞

❝ I want to go to the seas and never come back. ❞

❝ If I ever want to come back, it’s with you. ❞

❝  The one that used to be with me, where are you now? ❞

❝ I’m arguing with myself, ‘ let’s be friends, silly. ‘ ❞

❝ You have to live somehow, chew on bread, drink water, catch flu, swallow the pills, keep your spirits as high as the eighth floor. ❞

❝ If only I could know where you are and who with. ❞

❝ Is it warm there, on your planet? ❞

❝ If only I could know who you are with and how. ❞

❝ I honestly feed the cat and water the cactus. ❞

❝ I’d visit you, treading on the ledge, not believing the nonsense that you are gone. ❞

❝ Wanna know how I live? ❞

❝ No, I’m not asking to be back. ❞

❝ Who are you greeting the spring with? Who visits you in your dreams? ❞

❝ I’m sorry, but no. There’s no way back. ❞

❝ Why the fuck else would we need our voyage? ❞

❝ Don’t be afraid, I’m with you. ❞

❝ We can only exist at a distance and in zero-gravity. ❞

❝ If you want to fall I won’t hold you back. If you want to fly then fly! ❞