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" i wish i could say i am a light that never goes out,  but i flicker from time to time. "  oh,  little one,  you have burned for so quietly for so long,  haven't you ?   burnt yourself out trying to give others light ?   wishing,  desperately,  that they would notice the way your hands shake or the wildflower bruises under your tired eyes.   but they never have,  have they ?   and so,  it obviously wasn't bad ?   right ?   you had more to give,  didn't you ?   how much could you pour yourself out before they noticed ?   it is all you've ever known,  after all.   help,  help,  help,  help.   ( are you providing it,  or begging for it ? )  but you've given too much,  spread yourself too thin.

you are so heavy,  so tired.   you have spent your life carrying for others the way you wished someone would care for you.   but you're worried,  aren't you ?   that if you can't be what they need,  if you can't be the pillar for others to lean on,  they'll leave you.   what you seek is home,  a safe place to rest and be taken care of.   and little light,  you deserve it.   you have earned it.   you are worth more than what you can provide for others:   you deserve the same care you so freely give out.   they will love you all the same,  honey.   set down the world,  and rest that weary heart of yours.

repost do not reblog

NAME:   min lu,  minlu,  or just min for short

PRONOUNS:   he / him,  she / her

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:   tba

NAME OF MUSE(S):   otakemaru,  as well as kidomaru at @kidoryanse​,  belphegor of katekyo hitman reborn at @belacedia,  and my two extremely low activity muses,  mostima of arknights at @chronoma and kogil of fate at @goldknboy

RP EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG:   no fucking clue.  its been at least five years but I haven’t been keeping track at all to be honest,  and it also depends on what you consider roleplaying ?   does passing notes in class count ?

PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:   discord,  tumblr,  and others

BEST EXPERIENCE:   when I get to chat ooc with my mutuals a lot !!

RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:   to be honest I’ve never really had any major issues with the rpc on tumblr !!   but I used to have problems with oc related drama.   in general I’m pretty laid back and forgiving,  but as soon as it’s a personal issue then I have a problem.   basically an excess of ooc drama puts me in a sour mood.

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:   I am honestly really not that great with fluff but I do enjoy it in small doses.   like once a month you’ll see minlu reblog a soft / shippy meme and that’s my quota for fluff filled before I go back to writing nonstop angst and gratuitous violence.

PLOTS OR MEMES:   definitely memes !!   I enjoy myself more when I can kinda make stuff up as I go rather than stick to a specific plot.   If we ever do plot,  then it’ll be more about the *vague hand wave* general direction / premise of our thread.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:   the length of replies that I’m comfortable with tends to fluctuate between being tempted to answer a meme with a one liner  ( in which case I usually try to produce at least two paragraphs,  but it takes longer to finish )  and writing like four chunks of text in one sitting.   it really just depends on what I’m replying to  ( I can only squeeze so much out of a yes or no question with some of my less talkative muses )  and my mood that day,  sometimes I’ll go to bed with absolutely no inspiration for an ask reply then wake up with a lot to say about it.

TIME TO WRITE:   shouldn't take long !!   between an hour and,  um,  11 months

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):   considering that a frightening majority of my muses are serial killers I’d like to say that I’m not like my muses at all.   but honestly I think I have more in common with kidomaru or belphegor than I do with otakemaru,  just like,  except for the serial killing. 

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐃   |   oc emojis. @sunwield   :     ❪  ash  ❫

𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎     -     𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫 ?   𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐨𝐢𝐥, 𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ?

Otakemaru’s temper is actually quite sedate,  his personality is more like a mountain  ( stubborn and inflexible,  but self - controlled ),  an anti - thesis to his elder sister with a personality like the sea  ( fickle and unpredictable,  but much more open - minded ).   Otakemaru’s has a pretty level - headed outlook on most things and tends to give people the benefit of the doubt before jumping to unfavorable conclusions about them.   Its most definitely a slow boil   ──   he may snap or get irritable after a frustrating day,  but for the most part his temper is very low - key.

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍     -     𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐜'𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 ?   𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 ?

Otakemaru’s greatest wish is for the prosperity of Mount Suzuka.   He wants his home to become legendary,  and powerful enough to heal all suffering in the world.   Although his wish itself is beautiful,  the lengths he is willing to go for it is not.   On principle,  he doesn’t enjoy senseless massacres or fighting,  but he canonically resorted to riding a warpath against the rest of the world in order to save Mount Suzuka from disease.   To him,  nothing is more important than his home,  so he’d faster let the rest of the world burn before he allowed any harm to Mount Suzuka.

𝐏𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐇     -     𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 ?

Yes and no.   As an ayakashi,  violence is a part of his daily life  ( in onmyoji,  ayakashi tend to communicate with their fists ).   But compared to say,  Ibaraki Doji or the Mount Oe spirits,  Otakemaru’s is comparably peaceful   ──   violence is a method,  not a past time for him.   He’d prefer to settle things without bloodshed if possible,  and he’s taken up a very human way of living,  much to other ayakashi’s chagrin.   So he won’t hesitate to fight anyone who wishes serious harm upon his home or family,  but compared to other ayakashi in onmyoji he is relatively subdued.

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑     -     𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 ?

@sgczen