The ocean is pussy and the tide is high

saw someone including "Mandate of Heaven" as one of those christian terms tumblr likes to use to sound profound. which i get where you're coming from but t☝️hat one is chinese

I'd summon twin scythes

really cool

Human bodies are so weird like the upper half consists of every single vital organ and the lower half is legs

Goodbye white people no more cheeseboard

What have white people ever done to deserve this?

i guess i'll go fuck myself (skips away merrily)

In the novelizations of the original two Resident Evil games, which came out before the series left Raccoon City or Umbrella corp, the author's own justification for all this was that the puzzles were commissioned by the same paranoid rich CEO who gave bored company engineers and scientists limitless budget and creative control to protect his evil secrets as obtusely as possible. So basically a delusional billionaire gathered a bunch of amoral computer nerds and told them "while you're farming artisinal lizard demons for the army, I need you to make it as confusing and difficult as you possibly can for anyone to get in and out of my office alive" and I guess their autism lit up like a blazing star with a free ticket to design a real world lucasarts adventure game. This is implied later in the book to be exactly the reason why none of them made it out alive.

Eat strawberrys and touch yo self disease

i’m on onion rings right now

ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie

nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person

House of Leaves fans, lend me your theories. How much do you think that the Book is true? This is totally not me taking data.

Arachnophobia Mode added to hallucinations from real life

now big colorful circles with googly eyes crawl on you and walk around in the corners of your vision for no reason

A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play

my tea bag broke

Guy who is about to give birth to leafs

at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

weewee the stowaway

wevrybody loves you weewee.

Weewee slayyy 🫶