Lumi ✨

when burnt out, i say: “i’m stomach tired” (because it feels like my soul and energy is being ripped out of my gut)

fun fact about this scene! in the anime at least, the verb that they both use to say “I promise” or “I swear it” is not 約束する, which is a common verb for “to promise;” instead, they use the verb 誓う, which is less common, has a more serious tone, and is most frequently used in WEDDING VOWS.

I have an intense combination of Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) , ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder. However, for years, I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and over medicated. This caused my hallucinations to get worse, and doctors couldn't understand why. After years of therapy, correct diagnosis, and proper medication I've discovered my hallucinations stem from an entirely different mental pathway.

PMDD is caused by the brains over sensitivity to Estrogen and Progesterone. The fluctuations in these levels causes a severe depression the week leading up to menstruation (bleeding). The depression is debilitating and often leads to suicidal ideation. If you have OCD (like me), it will also make these symptoms worse. Once bleeding begins, both of these hormones sharply drop off in the body. For me this causes what I call "the flip"

"The flip" is when my depression disappears and my ADHD/sensory issues quickly and sharply spike. My brain will start to run in overdrive. I will become hyper sensitive to visual, auditory, and tactile sensory stimuli. This is where the hallucinations come in.

When my visual sensory stimuli hits me too hard I start to see "shadow people" in my peripheral vision. Black foggy shapes that seem to run around behind me like people stalking me. I'm not seeing things that aren't there, my eyes are just picking up on extra details and when it can't sense the details it makes up stories about why it can't see the details 😅

When my auditory sensory stimuli hits me too hard I hear things that other people don't. Turns out I'm just hearing the whine of electricity or sounds from higher pitch or lower pitch frequencies that most people can't hear. According to the audiologist i went to for testing, I an able to hear a higher range of frequencies than most humans can at volumes lower than most humans. So the voices and sounds I was hearing were real sounds, but only I could hear them 😅

When my tactile sensory stimuli hits me too hard, I think I have bugs crawling all over me. I will start slapping and swatting away bugs that aren't there. Turns out it is just the hair on my legs and arms that I'm feeling 🤣 when I shave the hard off my entire body the feeling of bugs goes away.

Because I was misdiagnosed and over-medicated, my brain chemistry is permanently messed up. The medication made my hallucinations WORSE, and they really never got better even after stopping medication. This is similar to hallucinations induced by the abuse of hallucinogenic drugs.

Seems easy right? They've done it once already.

WRONG.

Because, when Binghe finds Shen Qingqiu, he's heartbroken to find that his Shizun's personality is almost the same as before his qi deviation in their previous life, and has absolutely no interest in him.

He also finds out that for some reason in this life Shen Qingqiu has a younger brother, Shen Yuan.

Shen Yuan is sweet and kind and pretty and gentle and funny and pretty. He's also closer in age to Binghe. Slowly Binghe starts to feel a devastating guilt every time he looks at him. He doesn't know where this man was in their previous life, but in this one. In this one Binghe is pretty sure he's falling in love with him.

He feels guilty because it feels like betraying his Shizun, his husband. He feels like the only reason he's in love with Shen Yuan is because he reminds him of his husband, but that's not fair to Shen Yuan either. It's like he's just replacing one brother for the other.

But no matter how much he tries he can't get Shen Yuan out of his mind.

Then his Shizun, Shen Qingqiu, starts dating Yue Qingyuan and Binghe's confused more than anything. He doesn't understand why he doesn't feel heartbroken. But when the System doesn't take away any points for this, he finally asks it "Hey, System." "Yes?" "Do you know why Shizun is acting as such?" "What do you mean? We've detected no abnormal behaviour from Shen Yuan." "No, not Shen Yuan, Shen Jiu— WAIT, WAIT, SHEN YUAN?????"

Then he finds out, this whole time, he's been going after the WRONG. GUY.

Shen Yuan, on the other hand is heartbroken.

Despite acting like he's straight his whole life (and very much believing it himself), there was just something that stabbed him in the chest every time he looked at Luo Binghe playfully flirting with his ge (while getting rejected every. Fucking. Time. Shen Yuan really doesn't know if his ge doesn't know the hottest guy on the planet is flirting with him, or if he's being an idiot and rejecting him).

He's gotten to know the guy quite well, and they have become quick friends. They talk, they text and they hang out, all the time. He finds that Binghe is an amazing cook (seriously, HOW can food be so good?). He also loves to read, and they proceed to rant about the books they've both read. He's also a huge cry baby. (Shen Yuan thinks it's cute)

And sometimes.

Sometimes he'll just look at Shen Yuan with so much, well, fondness. It's in those moments that Shen Yuan let's himself dream that maybe, maybe, this boy could be his.

Sometimes he'll say something that cannot be categorized as anything but shameless flirting.

Like the first time he made Shen Yuan congee. "This is the best thing I've ever had. Holy shit." "Ah, you like it that much? Alright then. I'll make it for you all the time, with variations." Then he proceeded to wink. WINK. (Shen Yuan did not blush. He did not. He's straight. It's just the halo-like light that surrounds Luo Binghe is enough to charm sven a straight man. Like him. Cause he's straight. Definitely.)

When his ge starts dating Yue Qingyuan. He expects Binghe to look heartbroken, but. He doesn't. He acts like nothing is wrong. Absolutely nothing is out of place.

Except he smiles at Shen Yuan with that fond look way more often. He flirts way more often. He cooks for him way more often.

Shen Yuan doesn't know how to feel about that.

Has this guy been some kind of playboy this whole fucking time? And when one target is no longer available, he just moves on? To his BROTHER? Yeah, no, scratch that, he knows exactly how he feels.

He's furious.

(Binghe has no idea why Shen Yuan seems so angry with him. He just wants to kiss his husband. Why must this always happen when they reunite?)

Mobei Jun on the other hand is having a, uhh, sorta better time. He's found Shang Qinghua. Shang Qinghua is the Shang Qinghua he knows, flighty, cowardly and cute. But, the thing is. Qinghua's absolutely terrified of him.

Every time he pops up next to him, he squeals and jolts so bad that one time he slammed into a door.

But he still blushes at their proximity. Still has the same taste in trashy novels. Still writes. Still loves having his hair ruffled.

1. They actually talk after the noodles and become the world's worst PDA couple and Shang Qinghua is well aware he has a fiancé/husband

2. They take another decade before Shang Qinghua realises Mobei has been courting him this entire time and then they finally become the world's worst PDA couple and Shang Qinghua is well aware he has a fiancé/husband

congratulations to moshang for being the most popular pairing of my mxtx charms! 💙 🧡

annabeth, piper, alex fierro: my mom is an absent goddess who’s kind of a bitch to me and my loved ones

jason, thalia, hazel: my mom was a messed up person when she was alive

nico, leo, frank, magnus chase: my mom died years ago but she was a wonderful person and i miss her every day

🐝  *  ―  𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐃 𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝟎𝟐𝟒: 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐙𝐄. ( not gonna lie, this originally wasn't supposed to turn into a whole new template. i was kinda just playing around with another of my templates to make something for myself and then i was making another new thing for myself and i kinda combined these two and came up with this whole thing. anyway, i guess you're not here to listen to my ramblings but to know more about the template. you can find the preview here. it's a single muse template that turned out a little more extensive than usually, including a landing and a navigation page, rules, a dossier with a separate section for skills and abilities, a biography page, verses and another page for mains. as i said, it's got a lot of things to work with, so due to the number of elements used, this template requires at least a pro lite account. if you want to upgrade feel free to use my referral code KB4W13V3. )

―  HOW TO USE

please don’t claim this as your own, and don’t delete the credit.  you can change it’s size or color but it should stay where it is.

of course, you can edit all the colors, sizes, fonts, etc. however you like.

to get this template please click here.  it’s on a pay what you want basis so it is possible to get it for free if you set the amount to 0.  ( if you’d like to leave a little tip i’d very much appreciate it, though. )

when you first open this template, it might look a little weird because carrd deletes the images i’ve used so there will only be empty spacers of sorts that may look a little out of place.  just upload images and this will fix itself.

actual image sizes don’t matter since carrd scales them to fit but you can see examples of the image sizes i’ve used in the demo to get an idea for the dimensions.  or just try your own and play around with the settings to get the desired outcome.

A new free carrd template(NO CARRD PRO)<33

The link: https://2d8819328d094c62.demo.carrd.co

You should be able to use it but if it's not working just dm me and I'll send it to you!😄

If you're interested in custom carrds, please dm me. My prices are in my previous posts.

Amity and Luz would have to pull each-other from work

Amity and Luz are on of the most affectionate couples on the boiling isles (fight me)

Amity would try to cook with Luz but then would royally screw. And Luz will be like "I love you sweet potato but I think I should take over" while slowly inching her out of the kitchen.

They would slow dance a lot just to be sappy and it would with them bursting into giggle fits.

Luz would try to learn something from Amity's dad but everytime he would start a sentence explaining something, he would stop talking. She kinda gave up after multiple repeats of that incident.

They would try to share a college dorm with each-other.

If they ever got married they probably would find a way to sneak multiple Azura references in there-but I'm getting to far ahead of myself

Luz and Amity love the beach for no real reason. They just do.