*incoherent screaming*

Navigating gender dysphoria? Be heard and be counted in the science.

[pt: DO NOT TAKE THIS SURVEY]

But Leon is a valuable asset and the BSAA is insistent so the exotics vet finally gets on the plane to Alaska, then they get there and the poor guy's living in an enclosure way too small (base dormitory) with an inappropriate heat source that could cause burns (space heater turned all the way up) and insufficient humidity (humidifier turned all the way up) and inappropriate lighting (way too bright fluorescent bulbs) and inappropriate substrate (linoleum makes his claws slip) and an ectoparasite infestation (FUCKING MITES WON'T STOP CRAWLING ON HIM) that is being managed with toxic chemicals (smoking bummed cigarettes while huddling under a wool blanket makes the mites fall out from between his plates but also he gets kinda numb and loopy for a bit) and the vet is like. NONE OF THIS IS AN APPROPRIATE ENVIRONMENT FOR A EUSOCIAL CAVE-DWELLING ARTHROPOD FROM THE TRIASSIC PERIOD.

Commander's like, So you'll treat him?

Vet's like, I DON'T KNOW. I CHOSE NOT TO GO INTO EQUINE MEDICINE BECAUSE I PREFER MY PATIENTS TO BE SMALLER THAN ME.

Former Police Lieutenant Marvin Branagh: Please, when he shed his skin last week there's a bit on the tail that didn't come off and the kid won't admit it but it's bothering him and we don't know if it's safe to peel it off---

Vet: HE HAS A RETAINED SHED????!!!! Get me some warm water and a whole pack of cotton swabs before he loses circulation.

But Leon is a valuable asset and the BSAA is insistent so the exotics vet finally gets on the plane to Alaska, then they get there and the poor guy's living in an enclosure way too small (base dormitory) with an inappropriate heat source that could cause burns (space heater turned all the way up) and insufficient humidity (humidifier turned all the way up) and inappropriate lighting (way too bright fluorescent bulbs) and inappropriate substrate (linoleum makes his claws slip) and an ectoparasite infestation (FUCKING MITES WON'T STOP CRAWLING ON HIM) that is being managed with toxic chemicals (smoking bummed cigarettes while huddling under a wool blanket makes the mites fall out from between his plates but also he gets kinda numb and loopy for a bit) and the vet is like. NONE OF THIS IS AN APPROPRIATE ENVIRONMENT FOR A EUSOCIAL CAVE-DWELLING ARTHROPOD FROM THE TRIASSIC PERIOD.

Commander's like, So you'll treat him?

Vet's like, I DON'T KNOW. I CHOSE NOT TO GO INTO EQUINE MEDICINE BECAUSE I PREFER MY PATIENTS TO BE SMALLER THAN ME.

Former Police Lieutenant Marvin Branagh: Please, when he shed his skin last week there's a bit on the tail that didn't come off and the kid won't admit it but it's bothering him and we don't know if it's safe to peel it off---

Vet: HE HAS A RETAINED SHED????!!!! Get me some warm water and a whole pack of cotton swabs before he loses circulation.

But Leon is a valuable asset and the BSAA is insistent so the exotics vet finally gets on the plane to Alaska, then they get there and the poor guy's living in an enclosure way too small (base dormitory) with an inappropriate heat source that could cause burns (space heater turned all the way up) and insufficient humidity (humidifier turned all the way up) and inappropriate lighting (way too bright fluorescent bulbs) and inappropriate substrate (linoleum makes his claws slip) and an ectoparasite infestation (FUCKING MITES WON'T STOP CRAWLING ON HIM) that is being managed with toxic chemicals (smoking bummed cigarettes while huddling under a wool blanket makes the mites fall out from between his plates but also he gets kinda numb and loopy for a bit) and the vet is like. NONE OF THIS IS AN APPROPRIATE ENVIRONMENT FOR A EUSOCIAL CAVE-DWELLING ARTHROPOD FROM THE TRIASSIC PERIOD.

Commander's like, So you'll treat him?

Vet's like, I DON'T KNOW. I CHOSE NOT TO GO INTO EQUINE MEDICINE BECAUSE I PREFER MY PATIENTS TO BE SMALLER THAN ME.

Former Police Lieutenant Marvin Branagh: Please, when he shed his skin last week there's a bit on the tail that didn't come off and the kid won't admit it but it's bothering him and we don't know if it's safe to peel it off---

Vet: HE HAS A RETAINED SHED????!!!! Get me some warm water and a whole pack of cotton swabs before he loses circulation.