the void of absurdity

it's established in the beginning dialogue between them:

n: "been there before? the mill?" have you ever indulged in your queerness like this?

r: "no, first time...you?" not until you.

n: "yeah, first time." me too.

r: "don't tell anyone about it--the mill." no one can know about us.

and thinking about it, it's the only place where they can unapologetically and comfortable be themselves--not just as two boys in love but as people.

they don't just share loving kisses in there, naim shares more about his father's passing and his mom's absurd obsession with God and her faith.

and i think it makes the naim & entity-ryan scene all the more important. at the very beginning when ryan and naim shared their first kiss at the mill, naim shoved him off at the sight of their reflection, afraid of what he was doing. at the end, he has to come face to face with that desire, with his queerness in the place where it all started. the place that represents him and ryan's love, relationship, their secret--and overcome that fear.

because it was that fear that brought the entity into their lives in the first place when he outed ryan. it was that fear that didn't let him fully embrace ryan when he first leaned in to kiss him and more. it was that fear that led izzie to lure ryan and naim to get beat up. it was that fear that killed hunter. it was that fear that drove ryan and naim apart at the ice rink and again when they fought.

and even though naim is scared fucking shitless, confused as fuck, and missing ryan so god damn much, he sets the mill on fire. he burns the place their secrecy belonged to, essentially burning his shame and guilt with it, making a decision to not live with fear anymore. to not let his mother get to him, to forget the way the pastor glared at him during service, the confusing emotions that led him to harm ryan and hunter by outing them.

and instead of shrinking back in fear and screaming when entity-ryan chokes him in the mill (before he gets a hold of the lighter again & starts the fire), he touches its cheek. accepting his desire--no, his love for ryan. accepting himself. and we see the entity pause, and it's at this moment that he takes advantage to end things once and for all.

he will no longer run from this. he will not let his mother's choices in faith and fear control who he is.

so he closes the window where entity-ryan tries to get to him one last time, going home instead, where his mother's car is parked in their driveway.

given his epiphany and everything he's been through, when he hears his mom's last attempts at justifying the ritual and her intentions, plus "we all need fear in our lives," naim decides he's done.

the mill is gone. naim finally stands tall. and after talking about how much he wanted to leave the shitty town his mother had dragged him to, he finally does.

and the saddest part, at least about that moment, is that it's reminiscent of the conversation naim & ryan had had in the mill at the beginning.

"there's nothing you like about this place?"

"nothing."

the family that kept him there, his mother, now meant nothing to naim. and the boy, ryan, the one thing he did like about the place, in his mind, was gone. nowhere to be found.

which makes the ending all the more perfect.

ryan isn't gone. and they now see each other in a new light.

so don't get too comfortable.

where WHERE

I saw someone say something along the lines of “Ekko is the character y’all think Vi is” and I think that hit the nail right on the head.

Ekko has been fighting for his home for years. He has a strong sense of justice and ideals for a better Zaun. I’m actually really excited to see him interacting more with Heimerdinger because I think their conversations will be interesting.

Vi on the other hand is a horribly broken character. She went from having a home and a family - a place of belonging - to experiencing a huge trauma and loss. Then right as the loss happened he was kidnapped and sent to a prison where she was isolated. By the time she is freed she no longer recognizes her home, her friends, or her own sister. And as she tries to re-find her place in her old life she realizes that that place doesn’t exist anymore. So of course she is going to follow the path of the person that cared about her (Caitlyn healing her) and made space for her (Caitlyn standing up for her to her family and to the council).

And the thing about Vi is that she isn’t idealistic in the way Ekko and even Caitlyn is. She has never indicated she wants things to be different for the better - only that she wants things to go back to how they were. She doesn’t want Jinx, she wants Powder. She doesn’t want the Zaun Silco has made, but she talks about how it was better under Vander (which still wasn’t ideal). She doesn’t have an idea for the future because she’s still stuck trying to regain the past - that is the broken aspect of her character and at the end of S1 she fully realizes there is no going back. That it is all truly gone. The one thing she has left to fall back on is her role of protector, which Caitlyn now needs.