Hi Sammie

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

project hail mary is like i'll make you believe that friendship will save the world. i'll make you remember that our society rests on the backs of teachers and scientists. i'll make you see that even the most cowardly can be brave. i'll make you horny for sandra huller. thank you greatest scifi film of the last 10 years

whenever I go to the restroom and can’t piss immediately I get so mad because all I can think about is that weird sexist John Updike passage where he’s like “the pee got lost inside her mysterious Woman Body”

This very post (and IDGAF if it was all the way back in 2017) is stalking me because this is the truest thing for me ever.

hearing a beloved friend say the words 'can i be mean for a sec' is like watching an angel descend from the heavens and kiss you on the forehead

uh oh! the villainous Dr. Frown has stolen all of the smiles from Happy City! we need the aid of Gigglegirl to put a stop to his reign of terror! :(

okay, so, we were expecting Gigglegirl to just, like, cheer up the citizens of Happy City to return our smiles. we did not expect her to do that to Dr. Frown. our deep and sincere condolences to the Frown family

your muscles being pleasantly sore after exercise is such a nice incentive I can see why they patched that in. the forced regular logins to avoid losing progress however are a predatory practice and deserve nothing but scorn.

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Star trek episodes where a character gets introduced and one of the main ones falls in love with them are very funny because at the end its like. Uh oh the love of my life just got blasted exploded in space!!! Ah well anyways. Space, the final frontier, these are the

he's built like an unsecured ikea bookshelf and brother, am i a toddler

it is SO FUNNY when you’re watching a show with horses in it and within the plot of the show the horses are “”””upset””” but the way they communicate this is by placing a nervous nickering sound bite over what is clearly a calm horse placidly performing a practiced trick

like clearly this is the correct and humane way to pretend a horse is upset and unhappy but it’s soooo funny like this guys ears aren’t even pinned back!!! he’s just vibing!!! dude did the least amount of rearing to get his apple treats and he can see his handler right behind the camera already reaching into the treat bag!! he’s getting a good grade in being a good little boy and his mommy is going to be so proud

See also: every “scummy sewer rat” used as set dressing in modern tv and film is a healthy, chubby lil boi with a nice shiny coat bc he lives a blessed little rat life full of fruits and nuts and tummy scritches

Or the big dogs in movies and TV that are growling and look angry except for the good boy tail wagging happy as a lark ready for treats for getting s good grade in being a big bad angy show doggy.