those in favor of the motion to go back to bed and not do today say fuck
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Not today Justin
i don't do bad sauce passes
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Kiana Khansmith

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@operative-arrow
those in favor of the motion to go back to bed and not do today say fuck

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a man goes to his proctologist. says he's depressed, says the world seems harsh and cruel, says he feels all alone in a threatening world. the proctologist says i have just the solution, the great clown pagliacci is in town, go see him he'll cheer you right up. the man says "butt doctor,
i don't know what older adults were on about when they said being a teenager was good <3
oh for sure
This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.
Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something
there's art now
Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.
I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.
This is my new favourite post in the world
everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension
And, predictably, it's because it was about gay sex

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sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and i'm losing sense of time
The "B" is *not* for "buses"
Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)
it's so fun for me every time this appears on my dash because not only did i walk past it irl several times, it's on what is widely considered the busiest bus route in europe
I welcome all my bussexual and trainsgender friends.
(Sorry--couldn't resist.)
home cooked meal
Siberian Tiger
fuck 4chan
fuck twitter
fuck reddit
fuck tumblr
and fuck you

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"I think I hauve covid" is sort of the modern man's anime nosebleed
KICK THE CAN!
Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.
To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.
the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now
And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!
knowing the truth about solas being a spirit and regretting it, and being responsible for the tranquility of the titans and loss of connection to the Stone makes. me. insane when looking back on his conversations with varric. and just their relationship on the whole.
"why do the dwarves not know? why have they forgotten? did someone make them forget? how can they not care what i did to them?"
"do you miss the stone? do you know what i took from you?"
"look at what i did to you. your people are mutilated, forever forced to change from what they once were. and i did this to you."
"you don't even know what i did to you. the horrific crime i comitted against you and your people. you have no idea what you lost or what i did. you're not even angry at me. why aren't you angry at me?"
"you should be angry at me and trying to restore what i took. how can you continue on the way that you are? how are you even whole?"
and then we have harding's comment in da:tv
this comment from harding, after all of the conversations with varric, in hindsight, really does highlight something about solas. for all his guilt and regret, being practically one of if not THE only person who knows what truly happened to the titans. being one RESPONSIBLE-
at no point does he make attempts to fix that until he is convinced to potentially at the end of da:tv.
his conversations with varric are clearly some self projections, and wondering how varric can't be like HIM- he DOES know what the elves lost and what was done, and so he DOES want the old world to be restored. it's to absolve himself of his own guilt, along with trying to fix his mistake. how can he NOT fight? how can his own people not see what they lost and not try to put it back? he has to undo what he did.
but he never does this for the dwarves.
he often will say how he doesnt relate to the elves, and how when asking him 'who are your people', he avoids the topic. because the elves are NOT his people. he is a spirit! and his priorities always align with one simple thing:
that he regrets being made flesh. if he could go back to being a spirit, if all the elves could, if it could all just go back to the way it was before, everything would be fine!
it takes at least four people at the end of da:tv to make him see that this is ultimately selfish and unrealistic. that no amount of regret or attempts to put things back the way they were will undo what he did. in his obsession with self absolution, he completely forgets about the titans, and the blight, all being because of HIM.
he talks to varric, he talks to harding, all the while knowing what he did and being oh so sad about it but never stops to think. wow i actually may have the power to help with this!
he is so, SO focused on his own crusade for himself while also convincing himself that it's for the greater good. telling himself that oh! this time his great plans for the 'right thing' will go well, surely! the last few times, with the titans, and the blight, getting mythal killed, the sealing away the evanuris and changing the world because he messed up the ritual, then trying to awaken his orb only to give it to an immortal blighted magister that explodes the veil- those were all just! flukes! this one will go right FOR SURE!
and is that not just very similar to varric? how varric repeatedly also makes mistakes, and then doesn't face them? he brought hawke into the deep roads and put them in danger, possibly got their sibling blighted, brought back the red lyrium which led to (gestures) all THAT, introduced hawke to anders which led to (gestures) BOOM, led hawke to corypheus, told bianca about the deep roads which led to corypheus getting his hands on red lyrium.
but their key difference? varric simply accepts his mistakes and attempts to do better the next time. varric accepts that the past cannot be changed, no matter how badly he regrets it. he has to move on, he has to do better, he is still here, people are still here, and theyre worth trying for.
"That's the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you've got, it takes. And it's gone forever."
"The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That's as close to beating the world as anyone gets."
like of course. of course solas couldnt keep rook inside a prison of regret by using varric as the catalyst! because that's just not who varric is! that's who solas is. solas saw parts of himself in varric, but didn't listen enough to what varric has always been saying. he never does! he doesn't self reflect, he doesn't consider, truly consider that he's wrong until he is being held at knifepoint and confronted with the literal specters of his past telling him to stop fucking self flagellating and convincing himself that he knows best or that this isn't just out of self pity. 'it's for the elves', he says every morning when he wakes up.
for all solas' wisdom, he truly is poisoned by pride and regret. it's just so. (clenches fist)
he spent all this time using varric's memory, surely he is familiar enough with how varric thinks and feels at this point? surely he undersands now?
you have to stand with him at the edge of the world, teetering on the edge of the abyss and decide if he's worth putting in the effort to make him truly take everything varric said and did to heart. to take what we have now and make it better, instead of dragging a corpse of guilt around for eternity.
"The elven people of today do not deserve to see the world they love be torn apart to salve your conscience."
he HOLDS mythal in his arms as she dies BECAUSE HE KILLED HER and he still DOES. NOT. LISTEN. his self pity is dressed up as some kind of martyrdom.
and you contrast it with varric, in dai, saying 'i dont deal with things! i know its a problem and im sorry!' but he still tries. he still says why sit and wallow in regrets of the past when we can keep trying?
THIS is why varric as the key to rooks prison can NEVER work. varric would always think of others, and not want people to doom themselves for something they cannot possibly even fix now.
varric and solas are truly such good reflections of each other that i want to eat my hands.
It's left ambiguous enough whether the "Varric" you talk to is being fed his lines by Solas or simply by your memory of him, but I like to think it's the latter. Solas reinforced your refusal to remember/believe that Varric died, encouraged your mind to keep seeing Varric, but he couldn't put words in Varric's mouth. Not the way Varric sometimes talks about Solas. I can't see Solas not occasionally injecting his own pride into what Varric says.
And I think that extends to Varric's memory in the Regret Prison as well. That's still your memory of the man talking, not Solas's.
Which still connects to the Regret Prison, because absolutely, Varric could never remain the key to Rook's prison. The man is too good at working through things even when he talks about not dealing with them. As the focal point of Rook's regrets, even if Rook is the type who wants to run and hide and dwell on things instead of working through them, Varric is going to point a finger at them and tell them to stop it. They don't get to wallow in Varric's choices. They don't get to doom themselves for something that can't be fixed. They just have to move past it, and keep going.
All this to say I love this analysis of Solas and Varric.
How it feels to be mutuals with someone for over a year
[two tumblr soldiers bleeding out on the internet frontlines]
“heh… remember strawbebby…. And ranibow spramkle… always made me laugh”
“Don’t talk like that man. We’re gonna get out of here i prommy.” [mortar fire sails overhead and land nearby] “christ its like a childrens hospital out there”
[through shallow breaths] “I always loved…… the color of the sky…………”
End scene

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behold my ugly
I painted your ugly
kittycreature with sword ⚔️ PDX