Onionitis

Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

i know ur from the uk(?) but reading this as an american is really really funny

why 😭 it’s about twenty one pilots???? Their new album is out sep 12th????

there’s a joke to be made about pilots here but i can’t think of one rn

HOW I AM SO CONFUSED

It’s so infuriating that teen smoking rates were at an all time low in the US and we were on track to basically eradicate smoking and nicotine addiction in teens like it was flat out uncool to smoke and then They came out with nicotine injector flash drives that light up and taste like cotton candy. And have lead in them.

so much of life is needing to pee. enough already

There is sooooo little sex in my sexual fantasies and a lot of people do not get that

I should draw rouge the bat. But in what circumstance

anyone who says “the bible is clear” about an issue, is 100% of the time wrong. the bible wasnt clear once. the bible couldnt be clear about how to make a table if it came in an ikea box

Exodus 25:23-30

actually there’s significant academic and rabbinical disagreement regarding the length of a cubit so unfortunately it is still not clear.

nothing brings me more joy than critically engaging with media that was clearly not designed with critical engagement in mind. it’s the media studies equivalent of like, idk, trying to skateboard up a flight of stairs.

We should all be more vulgar, I think. All of us should say words in the vein of "fuck" and "shit" and "goddamn" more often than we do.

whys combat and military gear always got to look so fucking cool when the people wearing them just objectively arent. thats unfair

this goes for like, all of time. knights are serving the KING? the fucking KING?

you cant serve cunt and the government at the same time come on now pick the right side i know you have it in you

Jesus said this. Matthew 6:24