fandom dumping ground

grits teeth. none of you are playing tuoys correctly. here, give me the princess doll. since apparently none of you can be trusted with her. i'm going to make her do something truly nauseating.

As much as I love Howl, it humbles me to remember that every time someone came up to Dianna Wynn Jones telling her how much they loved How she'd be like, "Girl he's trash."

often i imagine a more book-accurate howls moving castle adaptation like to be clear i love the movie. i love the introduction of howl’s bird monster form i think being a fucked up bird for your hubris is incredibly symbolically rich that said. i wanna see Fucked Up Uni Student PhD Dropout Howl. i wanna see the weedkiller.

obsessed with the fact that howl movingcastle is, like, the ideal portal fantasy protagonist. he's a welsh rugby-playing grad student who enters a magical world where he discovers he's a wildly powerful wizard. there's an evil witch out to get him and the king needs his help and there's a curse catching up with him. he has a magical creature sidekick and an orphan apprentice and a mentor who gets killed by the evil witch halfway through and a love interest under a terrible curse. the story is BEGGING for him to be the main character. and he's just like. no <3.

book!howl is such a pathetic man. he’s a wizard. he dyes his hair. he has a tantrum when he turns ginger. he’s in his early 20s. he gets bullied by an elderly 18 year old. he’s from wales.

One of my favorite parts about the writing of Howl's Moving Castle is how easy it is to write off all the things from our world at first as him just being a weird wizard™ (also thanks to bestie @jutenium for spotting this I wouldn't put it like that without you!!/pos). Sure, Sophie uses weird descriptions, but readers have every reason to believe them because of the way Howl is presented as a character. When Sophie says he wrote with a quill that doesn't need an ink, you wouldn't think it was actually a ballpoint pen, you would think Howl had just enchanted his quill so that it wouldn't need ink! When she adds that she can't make out a single word, you think he has matchingly terrible handwriting, but in fact Sophie has simply never seen a pen writing. When she sees the mysterious labels on his books, you think he's keeping a lot of obscure magical literature, but it's really just an encyclopedia and a guide like "Top 10 Rugby Tips." When Sophie notices the bottles in Howl's bathtub, you think they're some kind of magical jars where he keeps girl's hearts, but I'm almost certain that they're just 'Dove' and 'Head and Shoulders' that he's enhanced with his spells and put silly labels on. When you read Calicifer singing a song in a language Sophie doesn't understand, you think it's some kind of ancient cipher or code, but it's actually just a rugby song in Welsh that Howl sings when he's drunk. And finally, when you see the terrifying black door, which is completely shrouded in darkness, you imagine a passage to an eerie, mythical place, similar to what Miyazaki showed us - but it's just fucking Wales.

"Howl Jenkins is swarming in girls falling head over heels for him" factoid is actually a statistical error. Average girl is tired of his existence. Sophie Hatter, who falls head over heels for his stupid overdramatic face at least once a day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted