There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

Jeff found a genie in a bottle Who said, “I can give you anything you ask” “You can have your wishes three And a million more for free It’s unlimited, just set me to the task.”

Well, Jeff thought a while, Said, “I want houses, “I want boats, I want fancy modern art, I want tickets to the Met, I want my own private jet, And a rocket into space just for a start.”

Well, the genie waved her arms and made it happen His every wish bolted from the blue And folks all over town grew enamored, gathered ‘round To admire the man whose wishes had come true

They said, “Let’s hear it for the man who has everything! By good fortune he’s been set so far apart.” “Yeah, let’s hear it for Jeff who has everything! ‘Cause his wishes are only at the start.”

Well, Jeff heard their shouts and he grew worried He said, “Everybody’s getting in my way.” The genie smiled as before, “You’ve got a million wishes more. You can even give a bunch of them away.”

Well, Jeff got confused and sorta quiet ‘Til he finally said, “I have just one wish more.” “I am satisfied, so I wish that you would die So you cannot grant wishes anymore.”

Well, the genie’s eyes got big and sad and shiny ‘Til she finally said, “Your wish is my command.” And with an effervescent sigh, she disappeared before his eyes And no wishes were ever granted there again

But these are hecking expensive and we needed to rush

So i set up a twitter/fb/insta/furaffinity/etc account and advertised my furry art EVERYWHERE. Im not that good but i said id draw basically anything no matter how weird (not cub art or anything illegal). I got a lot of weird coms (vore, scat, inflation and some i dont even understand) and for two weeks i did nothing but draw weird shit all day. My hand hurt so bad, but i got the money.

We spent a week afraid we'd been scammed and afraid we'd get caught, then a weekend afraid my friend might die once we did the procedure in my house. But it worked

I never told her how i got the money and i never will. Id rather die than tell her i funded her illegal abortion by drawing the wolf from robin hood swallowing robin through his belly button. Im pretty sure she thinks i was a prostitute for those two weeks and id rather her think that

To this day i gift her condoms on her bd as a joke bc im never doing that again

Goblins do not have a concept of personal property or privacy. They're often labelled simply as thieves, but they genuinely do not understand why a group of travellers would be upset by waking up to someone rummaging through their camp to see what they'll find, pocketing whatever looks cool, and eating their rations. A goblin feels perfectly fine walking into another goblin's house to do so.

They will also tell you everything about themselves to introduce themselves. Not only their name and where they live, but also what they do for a living, how many spouses and children they have, their parents and siblings' names, what they have done with their lives and who their best friends are. A particularly accomplished goblin can and will take 20-30 minutes to fully introduce themselves.

Travellers who manage to start a polite conversation with a goblin instead of immediately resorting to violence to defend their property will soon - to their great confusion - be invited to the goblin's home to meet their family and be welcome to stay as long as they need. This might feel strange to them, but deep down it's a cultural misunderstanding.

The goblin list of things to include in one's long introductions isn't a standardised list, but goblins have a general idea of what they expect to hear in them. They don't have a concept of private information any more than they have genuinely private property, and if someone's list doesn't involve spouses and children, that can only mean that they don't have any. If a goblin won't say where they live, that means they don't have a home. If they don't list who their friends are, that can only mean they don't have any friends.