A bit of everything

THE THING

You’ll never forget it

(there is A LOT more, this man is INSANE)

Bonus:

Per the Jan 11th announcement, you can now see posts tagged with banned** tags and view flagged blogs on the iOS app.

To do this, open tumblr in a browser (this setting is not accessible on the iOS app itself) and go to your account settings. Then, click the “Hide Sensitive Content” toggle in the “Filtering” section. This setting is automatically turned on for everyone by default. Here’s what the toggle looks like when it has been turned OFF (it will be highlighted blue when on):

But wait, you’re not done! For this setting to take effect, you must also make sure you’ve updated the tumblr app to version 22.5.2 (or higher). To update the app, go to the app store, click your profile icon in the top right corner, and scroll down until to reach the updates section. If tumblr displays an “Update” button, click it. You can check the version number by clicking “more” in the update description.

That’s it, you’re done!

**This has no effect on anyone using tumblr via any other browser or app. All toggling this setting does is remove the recent iOS-only hardbanned tags and give iOS app users the same tumblr experience as everyone else. The soft ban on certain “NSFW” tags that’s been in effect since the Great Purge of 2018 is still in effect, at least as of right now. To understand the difference between softbanned and hardbanned tags check out my post about it HERE.

Also, a quick note to content creators: Even with this toggle, I would avoid using any of the hardbanned tags whenever possible because posts with those tags will still be completely hidden (in searches and on dashboards) on the iOS app for anyone who doesn’t know about this workaround. Fortunately, it seems tumblr is currently reviewing the list and walking back some of the tags that were originally banned, seemingly for no reason as they had nothing to do with sensitive content. Most have not been reversed yet. Keep an eye on the banned tags list and continue to check tags yourself since @bannedtags​ doesn’t have all of them.

hi i've been trying to keep myself entertained so i made this

Please go on this journey with me. The doctor said it wasn’t cancer. It was another spleen.

So the guy leaves the elevator and I’m just, you know, my day just didn’t recover. And I kept thinking about it and thinking about it. And on my last day at that job, I was in the elevator riding down at the end of my workday with my little box of office supplies, and HE GETS ON THE ELEVATOR AGAIN WITH ME. He looks much less crazed. We were again alone. I may have dreamed the whole thing.

Because, look. I worked in a skyscraper in downtown San Francisco. There were hundreds of people in my building, spread across twenty floors. The odds of me seeing him again after that first time were nuts. And I hadn’t stopped playing that conversation over in my mind. So I thought, fuck it.

Me: “Hi, uh, so listen. A couple months ago you were on this elevator? And you made a phone call?”

Him, slightly wary: “Okay?”

Me: “So I didn’t mean to listen in but you know, this is close quarters.”

Him, flat: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “So I heard you telling someone that the doctor said it wasn’t cancer, it was another spleen. And like, it’s none of my business, but today’s my last day in this building and I will never have another chance, so I have to ask. WHO in your life has a second spleen?”

The guy looked at me for a second, and then he burst out laughing, and he said, “Oh, yeah, that was my dog.”

Glup shittos: a fake name used online to refer to returning characters from the Star Wars extended universe in newer mainstream Star Wars media, which are known and praised by hardcore fans but unknown to the more general audience.

Blorbo: (from my show) is a slang term for a person's favorite fictional character and is used similarly to terms such as Glup Shitto and Scrimblo Bimblo. Though initially intended as a mocking way to describe Tumblr fandoms, it began seeing more use among fandoms as it became popularized in early 2022.

Scrimblo Bimblo: fictional video game character used in a viral tweet to exaggeratedly describe how angry some Super Smash Bros. Ultimate players get when their favorite characters from nostalgic games aren't added to the game, particularly when JRPG characters are added in favor of them. The name is also used broadly to refer to frequently requested Smash characters, and as a sort of insult towards people who demand them.

Scrunkly: (Awww The Scrunkly, continued 🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Double Tap Now if You'd Scrunkly the When😆) is a nonsense phrase and copypasta featured in a series of image macros, often attached to random images and images of animals that have an indefinable "scrunkly" quality to them. The first example of the meme features a low-res image of a fox and was posted to Instagram in May 2021.

Eeby Deeby refers to an impersonation of robot speak and has since been used in a series of edited comics whose speech bubbles have been edited to have one character say "Your dick cold" and the other say "Eeby Deeby." Often, the two characters will be situated such that it can look like they're having sex. The trend started with an edit of a still from a Buck Rogers comic strip of the robot character Twiki before it was adapted to fit multiple images online.

Eeby Deeby elevator meme on Feb. 1, from Tumblr user @theweirdwideweb, uploaded an image of an elevator with the caption, "Where the f*ck is this thing taking me?" The elevator floor on the screen isn't a number; instead it reads, “eeby deeby,” original the elevator had a UwU face

Horse Plinko refers to a viral animated GIF of a horse falling through a Plinko board as it bounces off pegs. Originating from a demonstration video for a computer science paper,

Throckmorton, also known as John Thomas sign, refers to when the penis points in the direction of unilateral disease, typically of the pelvis or hip. Throckmorton sign is a slang term used humorously by medical students

Cousin Throckmorton, aka Throcky, refers to a fictional character who appeared in a physics textbook word problem. In the problem, "Cousin Throckmorton" is a skateboarder, and the student is tasked with discovering the speed at which he descends a ramp and the force acting on him at the bottom of his descent. Once a Twitter user posted a screenshot of the question, it spread on social media, with people making jokes about Cousin Throckmorton, the skateboarder.

when fantasy books describe the cloth of Quant Farmpeople’s clothing as “homespun” or “rough homespun”

“homespun” as opposed to what??? EVERYTHING WAS SPUN AT HOME

they didn’t have fucking spinning factories, your pseudo-medieval farmwife is lucky if she has a fucking spinning wheel, otherwise she’s spinning every single thread her family wears on a drop spindle NO ONE ELSE WAS DOING THE SPINNING unless you go out of your way to establish a certain baseline of industrialization in your fake medieval fantasy land.

and “rough”??? lol just because it’s farm clothes? bitch cloth was valuable as fuck because of the labor involved ain’t no self-respecting woman gonna waste fiber and ALL THAT FUCKING TIME spinning shitty yarn to weave into shitty cloth she’s gonna make GOOD QUALITY SHIT for her family, and considering that women were doing fiber prep/spinning/weaving for like 80% of their waking time up until very recently in world history, literally every woman has the skills necessary to produce some TERRIFYINGLY GOOD QUALITY THREADS

 In Ye Olde Medieval Fantasy Dayes, everybody’s layer against skin (shirt tunic or shift) is gonna be linen. it’s almost never wool except stockings or hose (like pant legs). Say “undyed cloth” if you wanna make them sound simple and peasanty. Comment on how you can tell it wasn’t made for them (the fit is off) and has had probably eight owners before. 

Outer clothing is gonna be either wool, or a blend called Linsey-woolsey, and again you could say Undyed, but dyes are not only common they are CHEAP and relatively easy. (innerwear is often left undyed or bleached to white because it gets washed to heck- like beaten by a wooden stick on a stone by the river- and dye would just fade out a lot so why bother. Ths is also why innerwear has ties, rarely buttons, unless you are so rich you have people doing your washing delicately because they’re hired to do only that. Buttons would get broken in the washing)

Example medieval dye colors. Lots of yellows and orangey-browns. Woad gave a range of blues that are basically what we think of as “denim colors.” There were purples - royal purple was a specific color from a specific source - but if you mix wine-dye and woad-dye, you get purpleish dye. (Getting the color to stay that way may be more difficult. Everything worn by peasants fades; they couldn’t afford the really good fixatives.)

More examples and explanations here: 

Plum, dusty purple, lavender, burgundy, chestnut, blood red

Walnut, chocolate, tan, linen, pale apricot, spice, dark spice

Peasant clothes were often more colorful than the nobility. Nobles could afford bright, clear colors that peasants couldn’t - but one mark of wealth was being able to buy all 4-8 yards of fabric for an outfit at the same time. So nobles would have a full outfit, including hat, stockings, even shoes, of one type of fabric (with ornamentation of a contrasting type, and as many buttons or bits of silver as they could get away with wearing), while peasants would often have a shirt, bodice or jerkin, skirt or pants, stockings, and hat of all different colors.

The tl:dr; version of my usual complaint: I love Terry Jones’s work, but he (and MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL) have a lot to answer for in the “Medieval Life Was Irredeemably Mucky / Everything Was Drab” department. In the wake of that film, practically all the everyday color of Non-Royal medieval life got washed out of public perception. And it makes me cranky.

i sure hope not

who's to say

that's between me and God

i'll tell you for $100

i don't think so, why?

not to my knowledge

sometimes

No I just work here.

I'm an Artist!

I'm sorry we're out of those, may I interest you in an Amish Paste Tomato instead?

Not until 5:30