one-sheermixer

Thank fucking god for plumbers who are willing to go behind their corporate bosses’ backs and be like “yeah don’t pay the 150 dollar emergency fee just gimme 40 bucks under the table, also, don’t buy a water heater from us, my boss will charge u like 800 bucks. go to Lowe’s and ask for a Scratch n’ Dent, they’ll give you for like 200 bucks. Call me tomorrow and I can install it for you in like an hour” wow… solidarity

I cannot express how much I would rather slip one workperson 40 bucks directly into their pocket for doing me a solid by not making me get ripped off by his bosses, like…….. thanks bro

That Pizza Hut among other things is why Egyptologists laugh their asses off when we see another piece of media where the protagonists get "lost in the desert near the pyramids", because it's like... just turn around my dudes you're only a seven min walk away from the nearest fastfood shop

Yall don't know how much I adore all of this

i was gonna say it Does have a tail thats what the cord is thats why its called a mouse!!!! and then i remembered most mouses are cordless now and got fucked up bc IT IS A HAMSTER and now immfucked up bc like. technology has advanced so must thay mice have changed species

it matters to me that you all know i was wizard high when i wrote that

"the writer's strike could stop the MCU from making new movies for months!" fuck dont dirtytalk me like that. it's only 9:34 am

Food banks are getting cuts to fund this coronation. Like, literally, non-theoretical money that regularly goes to food banks and stuff like that and is planned for by everyone is being withheld so it can pay for a guy who wants you to voice an oath to your TV