THIS IS THE BEST!! ( ᵃᵘᵗᵒᵖˡᵃʸ )

“I mean, I’m sorry love but this is really hard for me to relate to because I make enough of an ass of myself on the daily to know I exist. But, uh - have you tried streaking? Apparently that’s worked for me. I ‘unno. I’ve been drunk most of the time. Real talk though, um... Texting usually works for me! It helps give you time to think about what you wanna say and topics but getting your foot in the door! Cheers.”

“Smashed, smash, smosh. I’d smash again, I see no reason not to.”

straight white boy: *talks about dicks with guy friends*

straight white boy: *compares dick size with other guys*

❛  you look like the kinda guy who tryn’a  WHIP  every party he go to,  no lie. ❜   he looks concerned  (  possibly for whoever had to witness it  ).  head tilts slightly,  almost trying to see it  …  it’s almost too difficult.  those vines.  how they clap into it  …  the horror.   ❛  tell me you don’t actually do tha’  …               DO YOU ?  ❜

@oncpercent

            “JESUS. fuck, man, i get it. i’m white. lay off already.         i don’t even go on vine. i just watch to compilations on youtube... ”                                                and he sure as hell doesn’t WHIP or DAB                                                 ( hell, he barely knows what that means... )

                                         SHIT... maybe he is that white.                    He does think Eminem is one of the greatest rappers of all time...