Came For The Pie, Stayed For The Gay

two fics in two weeks who AM I

“Daddy?”

Engrossed as he is in editing a couple of photos for the bakery’s Instagram, the sound of his daughter’s tiny voice makes Bitty jump about a foot in the air. Sophie’s standing in the doorway to their bedroom when he looks, blanket trailing behind her, rubbing at one sleepy eye.

“Hi, sugar,” he says, a little faintly, resisting the urge to clutch at his metaphorical pearls. Every day that passes lately makes him understand his mama better and better. He gives Sophie a cursory once-over—no blood, no broken bones, no tears—and feels his heartbeat subside in his throat. The worst he can say is that her pajamas are getting to be a little too small. “What’s the matter?”

She scuffs one foot nervously on the carpet. “Are you still taking me to Papa’s game on Saturday?”

Lardo notices his small frown, the pinch in his eyebrows.

She waits until there's a moment with just them and looks at him and goes "It's a pop culture reference. From (Insert pop culture show/movie/book)."

Tango's lip wibbles, but he doesn't cry, and his eyes stay dry, but his voice cracks when he quietly says "Thank you."

Lardo shrugs, says no problem, but asks him why he didn't ask.

He admits he didn't get a reference to Captain America, of all things, in middle school, and got bullied until he moved to go to Samwell.

Lardo tells him to not ever worry about that: of the boys' chirping makes him feel bad, she'll handle it. He just needs to ask.

Tango asks Lardo things he genuinely doesn't get but knows is probably "common knowledge" for the rest of the year.

She answers everything, and if she somehow also doesn't know, she tells him, and they ask Ransom, who usually always knows.

But she also notices that Tango is smart, and is a pretty decent artist himself, and what is that very detailed bug you drew holy shit??

And Tango proceeds to infodump on her about this bug because he's been obsessed with not just that one, but all bugs, since he was 4.

And that's how Lardo learns her frog is a Biology Major and wants to study bugs.

And then whenever Tango asks her something, a bit worried he's being dumb about whatever he's asking, Lardo asks a question about a bug. Any bug. She asked about caterpillars and Tango got so excited and talked to her about it for almost an hour before Holster came downstairs, heard, and went "what the fuck, gross."

Lardo shouted "You're gross, asshole! This is fucking cool!"

Because it was.

She tells Foxtrot there's a mandatory "ask Tango about a bug at least twice a week" clause to her new job, and Foxtrot goes "weird but ok".

😭😭💕💕✨✨

tango: hahaha, who pranked jack and switched his pic into that ugly baby?

bitty, barely containing his excitement: oh?? want me to book the appointment

jack: please

*several days and one piercing appointment later*

bitty: i found you earrings that are little hockey pucks

He gives the dog a human name like Zack because he thinks it’s funny and he absolutely loves and adores his dog. The Falcs pick up on the fact that Jack really cares about someone named Zack but they’re also curious about who this person is because sometimes Jack says kind of odd or vague things about him.

Then on a roadie early in the season, Snowy overhears Jack say “I love you” at the end of a phone call. Later, Snowy asks who Jack was talking to and he answers Zack. (He was mostly talking to Shitty who was dog sitting for a few days, but because Jack is an obsessed dog dad he insisted on talking to his dog too). Finally Snowy gets it: Zack is his boyfriend but he’s been worried about coming out to the team.

It turns out Snowy is not the only person to come to this conclusion. They all decide to start being more openly supportive of having gay players in the locker room, and asking about Zack more because they want Jack to feel comfortable. Jack is just excited that his new teammates keep wanting to hear about all the runs he’s been on with his dog :)

And then Thanksgiving break happens.

Bitty isn’t going home for the break and it happens to coincide with Jack being on the road for a few days, so Bitty offers to dog sit. He obviously refuses to let Jack pay him for dog sitting, so Jack tries to come up with something nice to do for Bitty. He eventually decides to take Bitty to a fancy restaurant that supposedly has some special, secret pie recipe.

Dinner is great, and Bitty seems happy which makes Jack happy, and he deconstructs the secret pie recipe with great delight which is exactly what Jack was hoping would happen.

Unbeknownst to them, Snowy saw them at the restaurant, all dressed up and laughing about something and comes to the obvious conclusion– Bitty is Zack. He tells the other guys and they decide that since this relationship is obviously serious they should up their support game. So Thirdy catches Jack after practice one day, invites him to dinner, and says he should bring Zack because they’d love to meet him.

Jack of course, shows up to dinner with a dog.

When Marty and Thirdy finally stop laughing they explain that they really thought that Zack was Jack’s human boyfriend. Jack is kind of horrified to find out that like half the team thinks he has a boyfriend, but when he gets home that night and stops panicking about it, he realizes that means a lot of his teammates have been totally cool with the idea of him having a boyfriend. For the first time, Jack thinks that maybe, possibly, he might actually want to come out someday. 

When Snowy finds out that Zack is a dog he laughs and then asks the obvious question, “So who was that guy you were at dinner with?” Jack tells him he was a friend who was dog sitting.

The story ends there for the Falcs, meanwhile Jack can’t stop thinking about Snowy assuming he and Bitty were together, and the Falcs being fine with Jack having a boyfriend.