Heh...

Nahhh, can’t risk it.

✨sorry y’all

im sorry yall

I work in insurance yall, I ain’t risking shit

I’m cool with superstitions, but now I don’t trust any of you fucks behind the wheel…

I think it is brave and also very sexy of me to continue living

shout out to all the brave and very sexy individuals who are still here with us despite life being tough. that’s extremely voluptuous and your meat is huge

Im tired of masturbating, i wanna fuck 😩

Honestly her hair in here is one of if not the sole reason I love dying my hair blonde now.

you’re not selfish for wanting to be treated well

🥺 #Brown Kimberly✊🏽 ✊🏾✊🏿

can you imagine being 26 years old and in marketing and you want to settle down with a rich stupid man who’s crazy about you and you FIND a divorcee who hasn’t talked to his ex in over a decade and has a very forgiving custody arrangement that would easily enable boarding school and is willing to MARRY you after a SIX TO EIGHT WEEK SUMMER ROMANCE with NO PRENUP and then his brat kid comes back from summer camp and it turns out his ESTRANGED OTHER TWIN DAUGHTER came back from camp and they hijack your entire life and put a lizard on you and then your hot old man ditches you for his hot mess of an ex WHO DESIGNED… THE CUSTOM WEDDING DRESS YOU HAD ALREADY PAID FOR. truly. a roller coaster summer…. all that scheming WASTED

Either this is the plot to a movie I haven’t seen or Tumblr user spikenards has some very specific fears

Would’ve been fine if she had at least FAKED being nice so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Like no offense to my friends and family but if I had the chance to abandon this timeline for a medieval fantasy land I would absolutely do it, goodbye student loans and depression hello cool magic shit and most likely an early death by the sword (as it should be)

Have fun shitting in outhouses and losing loved ones to the plague™

medieval fantasy, not actual medieval times you impudent fool

Have fun crapping in outhouses and losing loved ones to the Goblin Raiders™

That’s more the fuck like it

Holy shit

WHAT THE FUCK?!