Real Jamaican Gal

embarrassing moments in the past. things you should have phrased differently. people you wish you still knew. those tiny mistakes that keep you up at night - we are all made up of them. all we can do is move forward.

jealousy of others for already having the success you’re striving towards. as a writing tutor once said, “don’t piss on other people’s chips. because one day when you’re eating chips, you really won’t want them to have piss on.”

the phrase “i’ll be happy when ….” you won’t. the thing you think you’re after won’t satisfy you the way you expect. learn to stop striving and start appreciating.

the feeling that every minute not spent doing the creative activity you love (writing knitting art jogging journalling reading), or every minute not crammed with a form of media or entertainment (music tv youtube audiobook podcast), is “unproductive” or a waste. sometimes u can just sit and listen and experience what the world has given you in that moment.

the idea that someone has an intrinsically better life because they have the clothes or body or holiday or house or partner you crave.

the guilt of not being there for everyone all the time. it’s only our phones that have made us feel we have a duty to be 24/7 in touch. it’s ok to take breaks.

the need to photograph every meal or coffee cup or sunset or outing with friends. not because there’s anything wrong with keeping a record but because the pressure to get the “right” and “perfect” shot decreases the joy of living and experiencing the thing itself.

The idea of a perfect person or a perfect self, we’re gonna have bad days, people are gonna have flaws - it’s what makes us human

Challenge Yourself: know that anything you want to achieve, you’re worth the time and effort that goes into it. Challenging yourself and setting new goals builds self confidence

Be in competition w/ you and no one else: don’t compare yourself to others, for you do not know their path or their desired destination. You’re unique because you’re you and no one else has your lives experiences or exact perspective.

Do what you say you’re going to do: not just for other but for yourself. If you promise yourself something, if you tell yourself you’re going to do something, do it. Not only will you be more productive, but you won’t feel the need to wallow in self loathing over something you said you were going to do and never got to

Value your time: for this is indeed valuing yourself. It’s okay to relax and lay around and do absolutely nothing sometimes, but dedicating your time to nothing is dedicating yourself to nothing. Value yourself enough to put your tile to good use

Anticipate the future: try your best to look out for your future self, even in the smallest ways. From picking something up off the floor so that you don’t trip on it tomorrow to keeping a pack of makeup wipes beside your bed for those lazy days

It’s okay to be reserved, but you should still work on your social skills.

Your facial expressions are important. When people say to smile more often, they don’t mean to stay like 😁😊 but more like 🙂. Think of nice or funny things to keep a sweet expression on your face. Smile from your eyes. “Smile”

Body language is everything. If you cross your arms often for instance, it can be seen as you being closed off and cold. Have open body language. Avoid being a wall flower and hiding in corners.

How are you with small talk? Brush up on social scripts, that’s all it is really is. Say hi to strangers when you pass by (use discernment)

Use eye contact and good posture. Don’t hang your head.

Try to get rid of your paranoia. Being self conscious is what tends to kill charisma.

💳 I have a goddess energy

💳 I attract money wherever I go

💳 I have 3 generous long term discrete SDs

💳 I have my dream apartment

💳 I paid for my dream car in full

My man is enamoured by my very presence.

My man is so generous and spoils me with no complaint, simply because seeing my happy brings him joy.

My man and I both work towards becoming our best selves in order to cater to each other mind, body, and soul.

My man and I have excellent communication - we are able to work out our disagreements in healthy ways.

My man and I have a love so beautiful, pure, and real, that it inspires others.

Our home is filled with warmth, laughter, joy, and lots of love.

My man treats me like an absolute princess.

My man protects and defends me.

My man is a masculine man.

The spoiled gf route can get you a lot more over time. I think the most important thing is to remember that when it comes to dating, most older men that prefer a “spoiled gf” don’t want to be seen as a SD. They want the fantasy that you need to create for them. They don’t want the relationship to seem transactional but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for what you deserve.

Keep your femininity. If you’d like for him to pay for your upkeep, (and you should) pose yourself as a woman who likes to be kept. If he’s not into giving a formal monthly allowance, you can still pose it as such in a less harsh way. For example if he wants to take you out to dinner. You can tell him “I always love going out and being shown off on your arms. You know I like to keep myself looking my best. Can you send me $xxxx to prepare for our date? Lookin forward to it 😘” Try and make him excited about the date. Tease, talk about how you can’t wait to see him, etc.

It’s also important to “show don’t tell” when dealing with men that prefer a spoiled gf. You don’t need to state that you’re a kept woman. You need to hint at it in mysterious ways. “I love when a man makes things happen ☺️” something along those lines of stroking his ego when asking for something you want. He will see you’re a certain type of prized and high value woman by your actions. So look and dress the part when on dates. Keep the fantasy going and he will find you irresistible.

Since this isn’t an arrangement and there’s nothing agreed upon for what you will be receiving from him, you need to make sure that you are getting what you want once you have established a relationship with him. The key into the spoiled gf route is to make him think you’re very much interested and into him first and foremost and his money second.

During the first few dates, feel him out and take notice. Where did he suggest to take you? Order a bottle of wine. Did he cringe or suggest something cheaper? Did he complain about the bill after your date?

Do not have sex with him. You really want to hold off for as long as you can. You should definitely tease him with kisses, sexual talk, and even a little groping but only as a reward. After he’s spent some money on you, you need to acknowledge and reward him somehow so that he keeps doing it. In the beginning (3-4 dates) is when you vet and prime him. If he’s cheap move on to someone else.

Phone or video sex is a great way to ask and get what you want immediately. I would start off describing a dream I had about him. Then go into detail about what I was wearing. When you feel you’ve been seductive enough (just a few short minutes usually does the trick) to get him started, break the fantasy. Say that you can’t get into it right now because now you’re thinking about how you don’t own that dress. You’d really like to own it and you saw something like it online. If he doesn’t ask how much, just keep saying how it would hug your curves and you’d love something new to wear for him for the next date. When he asks how much, tell him with confidence. I usually don’t say an amount less than $1k but you can say whatever makes sense in your world. If he complains about the price or acts astonished, don’t be rattled. You need to keep confident. Play dumb and say “I don’t understand, is that a lot for you?” He won’t want to look cheap and will fix his tone immediately if he’s worth your time. If he doesn’t or keeps complaining, make an excuse to get off the phone and end the call. If he agrees to sending the money, then great. You can resume phone/video sex if you’d like. If you don’t want to then you can steer the convo in another direction but do make sure to stroke his ego a few times before getting off the phone. This has always always worked for me. It’s important to note not to try this until a relationship has been established already. At least after 2-3 dates. Don’t be afraid to ask. Closed mouths don’t get fed!

These are a few pointers I have found to be successful when going the spoiled gf route. If you’d like a more in depth and detailed step by step breakdown, subscribe to my website! 😉

Good luck, with love 💕

1. All successful relationships require some work. They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves. They exist and thrive when the parties involved take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts. Open communication and honesty is the key.

2. Most of the time you get what you put in. If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding. It’s a simple practice that works.

3. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. Never force someone to make a space in their life for you. If they know your worth, they will create time and space for you.

4. There is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you; some will teach you; some will threaten you; some will use you. Others will heal you, and help you see your strengths, and help you to discover your authentic self.

5. We all change, and that’s okay. Our needs change with time. When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it just means you stopped living your life their way. Don’t apologize for it. Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.

6. Forgiving others helps YOU. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

7. You can’t change people; they can only change themselves. Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example. If there’s a specific behavior someone you love has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows what you need them to do.

8. Heated arguments are a waste of time. The less time you spend arguing with the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you. And if you happen to find yourself arguing with someone you love, don’t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.

9. You are better off without some people. When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. If someone continuously mistreats you or pushes you in the wrong direction, have enough respect for yourself to walk away from them. It may hurt for a little while, but it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok, and far better off in the long run.

10. Small gestures of kindness go a long way. Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get.

1. All successful relationships require some work. They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves. They exist and thrive when the parties involved take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts. Open communication and honesty is the key.

2. Most of the time you get what you put in. If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding. It’s a simple practice that works.

3. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. Never force someone to make a space in their life for you. If they know your worth, they will create time and space for you.

4. There is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you; some will teach you; some will threaten you; some will use you. Others will heal you, and help you see your strengths, and help you to discover your authentic self.

5. We all change, and that’s okay. Our needs change with time. When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it just means you stopped living your life their way. Don’t apologize for it. Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.

6. Forgiving others helps YOU. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

7. You can’t change people; they can only change themselves. Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example. If there’s a specific behavior someone you love has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows what you need them to do.

8. Heated arguments are a waste of time. The less time you spend arguing with the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you. And if you happen to find yourself arguing with someone you love, don’t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.

9. You are better off without some people. When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. If someone continuously mistreats you or pushes you in the wrong direction, have enough respect for yourself to walk away from them. It may hurt for a little while, but it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok, and far better off in the long run.

10. Small gestures of kindness go a long way. Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get.

• Dress modestly: if you want to stand out from the rest, you must go against the social norms of the time, ironically, this aligns with modestly perfectly. While our society focuses on praising the displaying of skin and provocative outfits, in order to be truly elegant you must learn to see the beauty in embellishing yourself in more conservative, yet tasteful and of great quality clothing. Opt for pieces that will flatter your silhouette, depict delicate embroidery, and enhance your feminity in a charming manner, modest doesn't have to mean bland or unflattering, quite the opposite actually:

• Choose the right color scheme: elegance isn't boastful, when choosing the type of hues for your particular look, pay close attention to the way that such colors compliment your complexion, how they combine with each other, and whether the colors enhance your dainty and elegant image, or not. Safe bets are usually nudes, monochromatic outfits & all black/white looks. When going for an all white outfit, for example, choose a shade that is more sophisticated such as ivory, steam, or white dove, as examples:

• Avoid exaggerated accessories: these include extra high heels, extravagant glasses or jewelry. You should instead opt for tasteful yet striking pieces. Heels should be of moderate length, and your entire choice of accessories should serve as complimentary for your outfit, not be the main focus of your outfit:

• Do not be overbearing with perfume: much like the previous point, perfume should enhance your overall presence and it's an essential part of a high class lady's grooming, but too much of a good thing can turn sour. With your perfumes be mindful of the places you are visiting and choose the type of scent that not only fits that environment better, but also spray just enough for it to be pleasantly felt, without giving a headache to those around you.

• Maintain your nails and overall body properly kept: a woman that is seen with her nails properly styled with smooth skin that is moisturized will let others know immediately that she is high maintenance and her sense of self worth is high because she ensures her body is properly polished and groomed. Similar to the color for your clothing, make sure your nail polish is consistent with the color pattern of the outfit you are wearing. Avoid overly long nails, nails that are falling off or showing signs of major wear, colors and patterns that are extravagant, etc. Colors like white are safe bets, but depending on your skin tone more hold colors like yellow or pink can suit you better as well:

The spoiled gf route can get you a lot more over time. I think the most important thing is to remember that when it comes to dating, most older men that prefer a “spoiled gf” don’t want to be seen as a SD. They want the fantasy that you need to create for them. They don’t want the relationship to seem transactional but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for what you deserve.

Keep your femininity. If you’d like for him to pay for your upkeep, (and you should) pose yourself as a woman who likes to be kept. If he’s not into giving a formal monthly allowance, you can still pose it as such in a less harsh way. For example if he wants to take you out to dinner. You can tell him “I always love going out and being shown off on your arms. You know I like to keep myself looking my best. Can you send me $xxxx to prepare for our date? Lookin forward to it 😘” Try and make him excited about the date. Tease, talk about how you can’t wait to see him, etc.

It’s also important to “show don’t tell” when dealing with men that prefer a spoiled gf. You don’t need to state that you’re a kept woman. You need to hint at it in mysterious ways. “I love when a man makes things happen ☺️” something along those lines of stroking his ego when asking for something you want. He will see you’re a certain type of prized and high value woman by your actions. So look and dress the part when on dates. Keep the fantasy going and he will find you irresistible.

Since this isn’t an arrangement and there’s nothing agreed upon for what you will be receiving from him, you need to make sure that you are getting what you want once you have established a relationship with him. The key into the spoiled gf route is to make him think you’re very much interested and into him first and foremost and his money second.

During the first few dates, feel him out and take notice. Where did he suggest to take you? Order a bottle of wine. Did he cringe or suggest something cheaper? Did he complain about the bill after your date?

Do not have sex with him. You really want to hold off for as long as you can. You should definitely tease him with kisses, sexual talk, and even a little groping but only as a reward. After he’s spent some money on you, you need to acknowledge and reward him somehow so that he keeps doing it. In the beginning (3-4 dates) is when you vet and prime him. If he’s cheap move on to someone else.

Phone or video sex is a great way to ask and get what you want immediately. I would start off describing a dream I had about him. Then go into detail about what I was wearing. When you feel you’ve been seductive enough (just a few short minutes usually does the trick) to get him started, break the fantasy. Say that you can’t get into it right now because now you’re thinking about how you don’t own that dress. You’d really like to own it and you saw something like it online. If he doesn’t ask how much, just keep saying how it would hug your curves and you’d love something new to wear for him for the next date. When he asks how much, tell him with confidence. I usually don’t say an amount less than $1k but you can say whatever makes sense in your world. If he complains about the price or acts astonished, don’t be rattled. You need to keep confident. Play dumb and say “I don’t understand, is that a lot for you?” He won’t want to look cheap and will fix his tone immediately if he’s worth your time. If he doesn’t or keeps complaining, make an excuse to get off the phone and end the call. If he agrees to sending the money, then great. You can resume phone/video sex if you’d like. If you don’t want to then you can steer the convo in another direction but do make sure to stroke his ego a few times before getting off the phone. This has always always worked for me. It’s important to note not to try this until a relationship has been established already. At least after 2-3 dates. Don’t be afraid to ask. Closed mouths don’t get fed!

These are a few pointers I have found to be successful when going the spoiled gf route. If you’d like a more in depth and detailed step by step breakdown, subscribe to my website! 😉

Good luck, with love 💕

• "You deserve better"

• "I'm busy with X thing"

• "There's no need for titles"

• "Let's hangout'

Things highly interested men say:

• "I will put the work and improve myself to deserve you"

• "I will find a way to make time and fit you into my busy schedule" (you're a priority)

• "I want to be serious in exploring a relationship exclusively with you"