contract lizard (seeking hire)

"they've had intercourse" "i know that i'm asking if they've kissed"

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.

Working a job will have you thinking shit like "in two hours I will only have four more hours to go which is 240 minutes or 16 segments of 15 minutes which is like two two hourses"

some intimacy and access to a skeleton army would go like crazy right now

thinking about experiencing my first sensation soon

going up to a gay couple and asking "so which one of you is the big pointy chinned yaoi and which one of you is the little blue eyed yaoi"

It is up for you to decide when you draw them I thonk

going up to a gay couple and showing them the drawing I did of them as the big pointy chinned yaoi and the little blue eyed yaoi, setting their respective roles in stone for the rest of their lives

they got married btw

idk if this is an usamerican thing or not but it always blows my mind as a small european country resident that yall have many names and types of apples???? what do you mean its not just red yellow or green??? why is it so complicated??? who is granny smith????

'whats your favorite apple' 'red' 'no i mean like what type' '??????' actual conversatiom i've had with a mutual from usa

the world is so big and beautiful

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

the bus is never going to come because im a bad person

fascinated by jeff the killer tbh. everyone in that creepypasta has generic white usamerican names (jeff, keith, barbara, billy, etc.) except for jeff the killer's doe eyed little brother liu. why is he liu. is liu chinese? it's okay if he's chinese. is jeff also chinese? has jeff the killer been chinese this whole time? am I a bad person?