Short lil angsty marvey thing I wrote with eyes half closed. Inspired by The Thrill Of Loneliness by Hana Stretton!
Ps. itâs all over the place and kinda bad but alas I needed it out.
Mike has evolved from tolerable to annoying in an endearing way. He convincesâno, forces Harvey to leave long voice messages when heâs out and about, when theyre apart.
Some voice messages are 30 second or less, others are a full on minute because Mike demands it, it can be something as simple as just Harvey replaying what heâs doing at the moment, what his plans are in the next five minutes, or how some client dinner went, sometimes Harveyâs eye roll can be heard through the voice message and he stalls as the message is rolling.
Mikes reason for this new demand? He loves Harveyâs voice. Thatâs all. He likes hearing him speak about his day, as rare as it is, because Mike is always the one with the mouth, heâs always the one rambling. And now for once he managed to semi-convince and semi-force Harvey to do the same, even if itâs through voice messages.
Mike of course, does the same. He leaves long voice messages, way more enthusiastic than Harvey, he rambles about his day, talking about even the most mundane things. It warms Harveyâs heart, even if he doesnât admit it, or smiles in a way that Mike just knows without needing to hear it out loud.
Everything was perfect. It really was, until Harvey had been reminded brutally that itâs never for long.
Mike had gotten into an accident on that cursed bike, eventually. Harvey had been there, by that hospital bed, holding Mikes hand like if he gave his warmth to the rapidly cooling body then Mike would wake up and tell him he was simply playing dead. He wasnât. It was never that simple. And Harvey couldnât deny that he couldnât let go for hours, he couldnât. It hurt, so bad. He was so sure hours earlier, he and Mike, when he could barely even whisper, heâd told him then, âIâll be fine, Harvey.â
Harvey wanted to believe him. But even he couldnât ignore the way the doctors were almost bracing to even approach Harvey with their solemn looks. Harvey couldnât look away from Mike, not when his eyes were so glossy, not when his smile was failing to be reassuring, not when heâd finally fluttered his eyes half closed, and finallyâ âyouâre the best thing thatâs ever happened to me, Harvey.â
âDonât forget that, okay?â
With that now wobbly smile that Harvey would learn to engrave in his mind, Mikes last. He squeezed his handâ âdonât forget.â
Harvey couldnât even say anything, he wanted to, to say that he knew the bike should have been the first thing gone. But godâhe couldnât when Mike first awoke, he couldnât now, not when he could faintly hear the flatline sound. Not when Mikes hand slipped from his.
Not when he felt his heart die alongside Mikes.
He felt dazed, tunnel vision coming, he could faintly hear voices behind him, around, everywhere. He could faintly feel a hand in his shoulder nudging him back. He stood his ground, he stared at Mike, the whole time, he stared at the way his eyes were closed as if he was simply sleeping. He stared at the way his usually pink lips were drained of color and slightly parted, no huffs of breath, nothing.
Mike Ross was truly, utterly, gone.
Harvey had been forced eventually. He had been taken home by Donna, he couldnât hear anything but the life around him collapsing, mentally or physically. Harvey couldnât know.
He fished his phone out eventually. He clicked mikes contact, he stared at the profile picture heâd chosen for him, one Harvey had taken of him on a winter night, a week before Christmas, mikes brilliant blue eyes staring up in awe at the decorations, as if heâd never seen them before years prior. Harvey adored him. He stayed staring at the picture for what seemed like hours. But what he really came here for, was the voice messages.
Harvey hesitated, not because he didnât want to hear Mikes voice again. But because he knows, that if he does, godâheâll break. But damn it all, heâll gladly break to hear Mike again. Even if it kills him. Especially if it kills him.
He starts with the most recent one. The one Mike had sent a day before the accident, he soundedâŚanimated, happy, as he always seemed to be after their relationship went public. Harvey felt himself smile despite it all. He felt himself relax slowly as the message went on, hearing Mikes voice carry energy, about how he almost thought of buying Louis a coffeeâfollowed by a laugh of disbelief, one that had Harveyâs heart clenching, in pain, in delight, everything all at once.
The voice message ended. The silence that followed felt suffocating, enough to have Harvey gasping for air, he could feel fresh warm tears prickle the corners of his eyes, he pressed play on another message before he could think.
âOkay, okay! I know what you say all the time, Harveyâbut listen, we could totally get a puppy, even tho yesâI can see it now, that stupid look you give me, I know Iâm the puppy, okay? But like, it gets lonely being the only scruffy one, wouldnât you like a fuzzy little guy running around your apartment?? Wait donât answer that, i think youâve definitely had nightmares about this exact scenario, actuallyââ
Harvey doesnât feel the tears cascading down his cheeks as the message keeps rolling, he just feels the tug of his lips in a warm smile as he stares off. Mikes voice echoing through the cold condo. Harvey had rejected the idea that day, but heâd told Mike heâd consider it, and even nowâhe could see the sparkle in those eyes, a challenge.
He wishes heâd fulfilled that want now.
Thatâs how Harvey spends the night, every night, with mikes voice swallowing the cold and empty feeling that is now Harveyâs life. He sees the sun rise, every time, and stillâhe plays another message. Exhaustion is a dull ache compared to the peace he feels the moment he hears that voice, even if temporary. Even if the messages will eventually end, even if heâll need to replay them all over again for the rest of his life. A life that isnât worth much, he thinks.
titsay
jacobvanloon
yousharknotpass
gummygunk
izzy806
turnnoffyourmind
areudirty
