MarveyAngstQueen

first time harvey visits mike's place, mike starts talking about what kind of father harvey would be, oh lord, do they not understand how gay that was lol

This last chapter really hit me. I rarely see realistic depictions of depression in books or films, but you managed to hit the nail on the head. The way you described it, the way Mike felt so heavy all the time, like he wanted to sink into the bed and never leave, the way he only got up because of Gigi and his external obligations, even when they felt bigger and more difficult than climbing a mountain—that part when he mentally recalled that he needed to pay the electrical bills and take Maple to the groomer and go to work and get Gigi to daycare, and do a million things more made me feel so overwhelmed and emotional because I related to that feeling so acutely it felt like you had opened my brain and seen it for yourself before writing it—. But most importantly how he kept telling himself he was okay, because he was functional. He was functional. He wanted nothing more than to close his eyes for a second and forget about the outside world, and yet, he was going through the motions and keeping up with his responsibilities; acting like a functional member of society. It said, I’m TRYING! Everyday I’m trying my hardest! I just don’t know for how long I can keep it up

Anyways I had to stop reading for a sec there to gather myself, but it was worth it. I can’t wait to see the call to Harvey. Thank you for you work 🩷

Thank you so much.

Obviously depression looks different for everyone, even day to day, but I was able to draw on a lot of my own experiences for Mike and to know it resonated with people is amazing- whether it made someone feel seen or whether it gave someone insight into how it can feel.

My circumstances are different to Mike's for so many reasons, but it was cathartic for me as a writer to be able to give Mike a support network for this moment.

getting together/first times

three simple rules by learnedfoot that specter smile by too_salty good morning new york by selinawrites walk the line by laughter_now the intamacy of knowing by butdaddyilovehim before you go by torched22 unforgettable by aprilinparis92 i care (i need you to know) by brokeperception

holidays

when in boston by turnyourankle finding the way by smartalli magic touch by hellbellfirera i just want you for my own, more than you could ever know by redtrospect comfort and joy by eadunne2 midnight fireworks by specterross to not be phased, to just be fine by asphodelon a wonderful, wonderful life by rose_sk

prison era

counting on by smartalli until the morning comes by specter_ross beautiful boy by fangirlflailings end of the line by pace37 bleeding through by blackashbluephoenix fresh out of the slammer by vanderloo ring ring by mindy_hektus things with feathers by KCKenobi

fluffy stuff

59th street chronicles (series) by liketwotiedships family man by novemberhush little notes by sal_si_puedes you can call me honey if you want by crimescenesandcoffee the shape of this longing by bluegoldflames moving day by purple_pansies warm hands on my heart by flamyshine gloves and a cap by cowandcalf safe in my arms by air_conditioner813

sick/injured fics

a sick puppy by alexanderxbetsey feel better by blaked untouchable by marveys the angel and the fool by thekindworthreading constant knot by mockturtletale little black dots by aspiringauthor29 if you have to die, don't let it be in my arms by mossylogs all that's left of yesterday by Iikaa15 fracture point by liketwotiedships

major character death

the empty corner office by aspirateurkilleuse I say to him once; I say to him one last time by acxsmist_inc and my name was on you by veritas_st but a whimper by beelove shutting down by skyenapped better not look him too closely in the eye (orphaned)

hurt/comfort

So obviously he uses it even if its only for that sweet one month trial period.

Three months pass atleast before he even has time to think about cancelling the stupid subscription. When he checks his account and realises it hasn't been charging him at all. He chalks it up to a glitch he's happy to exploit.

What he doesn't know is that Harvey has been footing the bill for this particular pleasure of Mike's.

mike can convince harvey to do almost everything if he finishes the sentence with please, sir? harvey folds immediately.

I'm sure Harvey would want to be the ultimate tease and spend hours pulling Mike apart, but realistically the minute Mike started begging it would be over for him. He cannot say no to Mike.

rene brings out a bunch of new suits to get tailored. mike asks questions, rene gives him flippant answers. harvey’s paid for it, clearly. and mike will feel a rush of heat that he has to bite down. whatever, maybe harvey just didn’t like the suits he currently had in his rotation, not completely unheard of.

the more time passes, the more clear it becomes that each piece of these new suits have small embroideries etched in the fabric. all in seemingly obscure/odd locations. they’re in silver or gold thread depending on what goes best with the color of the suit.

H.S.

that’s already enough to make mike run warm again. but then mike starts really starts looking. every piece has one.

one inside the collar of his shirt, positioned so it brushes up against the back of mike’s neck every time he moves. another inside wrist of his shirt sleeve. inside of elbow on a jacket sleeve. a different jacket has one on the inner pocket of the suit, left side. underside of a tie. inner ankle of left sock. soles of both shoes. engraved into the buckle of a belt. because of course this staking of claim is going to extend to the non-negotiable accessories. the multitude of pants are what does him in. straw and the camel. or something. who gives a shit, his head is fuzzy.

initials on the inner side of his pant leg, next to the knee. as in, if mike sits with his legs apart at all, harvey’s initials are in plain view. another on the back of the waistband. right where harvey sets his hand at the small of mike’s back. every pair of pants has it engraved on the button.

harvey’s whole ass signature embroidered on the inside fabric of the zipper. in every pair of pants.

it’s not common, but often enough that mike has his own personal defcon system to deal with it

mike likes defcon five, he doesn’t have to do shit. defcon four entails a pointed look at harvey. a silent dude, chill out usually works. defcon three is calling out his name sternly in conversation. sometimes more than once. by the third time mike has to call his name, defcon two. physically reminding harvey to pump the breaks. gently swatting at his arm, tugging him by the elbow, clamping his shoulder, a hand on the spine. it varies.

harvey’s acting like the client personally shit on his silk bedsheets. loud, and hot headed. mike doesn’t even care that harvey’s right, it’s fucking annoying to hear him yell like this.

defcon one, mike holds his hand up in-front of harvey. this maneuver stops his tirade immediately. harvey then closes his mouth. he straightens out. takes a breath. and looks over to mike. blue points harvey into the seat across the room.

mike makes a point to rain check with the client for later this week, escorting him to the elevator. when he comes back, harvey is still seated in the chair and silent. like a well trained dog. mike is the only one who can reduce him to this state. reign him in.

sometimes he’s wants to take the leather and pull, just to what lengths harvey would go to satisfy him—

“let it go, i’ll find a loophole in the briefs.” even and composed.

“don’t tell me what to do.” it lacks venom.

his exact words: “i have never once thought about firing you [until now]”

also his exact words: “what did you do? come clean, or i’ll let you go right now without a minute’s thought.”

his exact words, exhibit C: “you and i work because i know i can trust you. never go behind my back again.”

that no-nonsense delivery, donna’s quite limited role in s1, and the pre-existing fact of gabriel/sarah’s longstanding friendship, reeeeeally makes you (me) think about how in s1/s2, harvey/donna were almost certainly intended to go in a specific, Not Romantic direction butttttt the master plan ended up changing along the way, as mike and harvey kept behaving like an endgame couple, and donna became a fan favorite, and the Hetero Agenda started feeling the heat.

i compare the spirit, feel, tenor of dialogue, and narrative weight given to donna as The Only One Who Understands Harvey™️ from season 1 to season 3 to seasons 4-7, and…… it’s pretty jarring!!

and like. of course tv shows always have to evolve past their pilots and first seasons; of course showrunners and writers react to fans, rethink outlines, get each other on the same page as a creative ensemble; of course the whole joy of a long form procedural is to witness the characters change with age and experience and insight.

all i’m saying is— i get more than a whiff of top-down Gay Panic (derogatory) from how dramatically and specifically donna’s characterization changed over the seasons.

especially as, for both mike/rachel and harvey/donna, very persuasive and compelling arguments can be made for those ships succeeding as they did in canon only because mike/harvey mysteriously found themselves in situations where they couldn’t Be Together themselves.

and all the evidence is in plain text, not subtext, btw. see: mike getting together with rachel in the s2 finale because he thought he was all alone, had lost harvey forever, didn’t know where to turn. see also: harvey only making serious moves towards donna as a romantic option after mike left for seattle in s8. (remember that in s7, donna was the one making moves.) see finally: mike returning briefly in s9, and that being the trigger for harvey to decide he’d had enough of living without mike, marry donna at someone else’s wedding ceremony as a weird convenient afterthought, and then drag her with him to seattle in order to get the stink of queer yearning off the proceedings live happily ever after.

suits is. such a weird fucking show i swear to god.

me @ aaron korsch:

Mike: It’s not smoke.

Harvey : What is it then?

Mike: ....

Mike: An attempt.

Harvey: At what?

Mike: Cooking.

Harvey: You set something on fire, didn’t you?

Mike: Only briefly.

Harvey: ONLY-

Mike: Look, the pan shouldn’t have caught fire.

Harvey: What did you put in it??

Mike: ....

Mike: Cereal.

Mike: Yesterday you called opposing counsel “that smug raccoon looking guy” because he laughed at my joke.