1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
3. Donât knock it âtil you try it.
4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
5. Always use âweâ when referring to your home team or your government.
6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
7. Donât underestimate free throws in a game of âhorseâ.
8. Just because you can doesnât mean you should.
9. Donât dumb it down.
10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
11. If youâre staying more than one night, unpack.
12. Never park in front of a bar.
13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.
15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
17. Never lie to your doctor.
18. All guns are loaded.
19. Donât mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if itâs only once.
21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
22. Donât fill up on bread, no matter how good.
23. A handshake beats an autograph.
24. Donât linger in the doorway. In or out.
25. If you choose to go in drag, donât sell yourself short.
26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
30. When youâre with new friends, donât just talk about old friends.
31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
33. Itâs never too late for an apology.
34. Donât pose with booze.
35. If you have the right of way, take it.
36. You donât get to choose your own nickname.
37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
38. Never push someone off a dock.
39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if sheâs pregnant.
40. Itâs not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.
41. Donât make a scene.
42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
43. Know when to ignore the camera.
44. Never gloat.
45. Invest in good luggage.
46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. Itâs her special day, too.
47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
49. Give credit. Take blame.
50. Suck it up every now and again.
51. Never be the last one in the pool.
52. Donât stare.
53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
54. Stand up to bullies. Youâll only have to do it once.
55. If youâve made your point, stop talking.
56. Admit it when youâre wrong.
57. If you offer to help donât quit until the job is done.
58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
59. Thank the bus driver.
60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
62. Know at least one good joke.
63. Donât boo. Even the ref is somebodyâs son.
64. Know how to cook one good meal.
65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
67. Itâs okay to go to the movies by yourself.
68. Dance with your mother/father.
69. Donât lose your cool. Especially at work.
70. Always thank the host.
71. If you donât understand, ask before itâs too late.
72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriendâs clothes.
73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
74. Be a good listener. Donât just wait for your turn to talk.
75. Keep your word.
76. In college, always sit in the front. Youâll stand out immediately.
77. Carry your motherâs bags. She carried you for nine months.
78. Be patient with airport security. Theyâre just doing their jobs.
79. Donât be the talker in a movie.
80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
81. You are what you do, not what you say.
82. Learn to change a tire.
83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
85. Donât litter.
86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
87. You wonât always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.
88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.
89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
90. Make the little things count.
91. Always wear a bra at work.
92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
93. Youâre never too old to need your mom.
94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.
95. Know the words to your national anthem.
96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun than sitting on the bench alone.
97. Smile at strangers.
98. Make goals.
99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.
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