all my love and terror

ok note to self i gotta leave the house regularly so that i dont feel like im slowly transforming into an evil fucking shadow clone of myself

So as it turns out your sense of self doesnt exist in a vacuum. You gotta actually use it and bounce it off of other people like echolocation to see where you are as a person and shit. So if you dont regularly interact with other people the echoes just get weaker and weaker and before you know it your personality is a blurry fucked up fog clone of its former self. which it sucks because this makes it really hard to interact with people again but yknow

“Now, bear in mind,” *I pause, allowing time for you to visualize the bear*

SOMEWHERE THERE IS SOMETHING WAITING FOR YOU, AND YOU CAN SMILE A LITTLE PERHAPS NOW WHEN YOU ARE SO UNHAPPY, BECAUSE HOW WELL WE BOTH KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE HAPPY VERY VERY VERY VERY SOON. SOMEWHERE SOMEONE IS WAITING FOR YOU, AND LOVES YOU, AND THINKS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND IT WILL BE SO WONDERFUL AND SO FINE, AND IF YOU CAN BE PATIENT AND WAIT AND NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER DESPAIR, BECAUSE DESPAIR MIGHT SPOIL IT, YOU WILL COME THERE, SOMEDAY, AND THE GATES WILL OPEN AND YOU WILL PASS THROUGH, AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO COME IN UNLESS YOU LET THEM, AND NO ONE CAN EVEN SEE YOU. SOMEDAY, SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE.