It's interesting how certain songs can trigger certain moods. I just listened to a song about. . . a girl committing suicide. . . And it was kind of triggering. It gave me goose bumps. I mean, I've heard the song before. The first time I heard it, I started sobbing. I saw myself within the lyrics. But now, I see someone else along with me. And fear has taken over me. I know i'm overreacting as I always do. I don't want my life to end up like that song. . . Yes, I have no one to sit with at school, no one seems to really pay attention to me there, I'm letting myself be around toxic people. . . it's not my parent's fault. It's no one's fault that I feel this way. It's my own. It's my self hatred, my anxiety, everything. I'm afraid for what will happen to me. I don't want to fall that far into my depression. I don't want people to constantly worry about me like I do with everyone else. . . I'll be fine. I just. . . I need to get out of this hell hole known as high school. I hate it. It's horrible. I wish parents and teachers and the administration would realize how harmful school is to some people. I wish there was a way to fix things. . . But I guess you can't save the world. This is just a rant. I'm not going to commit suicide. I'm not in any self-harming danger. I just wanted to voice my mind right now. I'm trying to not listen to such sad music. I'm just trying to venture out and find more songs i like. I don't know. YouTube browsing I guess.
