puppy blog

this whole time, misa has been privately doing deep dives into how to safely do a blood choke and how to check for nerve damage during rope stuff. for all of his sex having life, misa had kinda just been going along with stuff. he liked sex, sure, and it seemed like he got a lot of opportunties to get his dick wet. he didn't think about it too hard. but this is different, like a whole new world of stuff mis didn't know people could do with their bodies and feel good after. it's interesting. he thinks about it a lot and maybe spends too much time on reddit about it. most embarrassing shit of his life.

on the flip, sam has just kinda doing what feels right. when misa seems like he wants to try something new, he kinda drip feeds info about it to sam, hints. he'll be all cute about it too, swimming in sam's hoodie, all cozy in bed like "dickie, i'm really sleepy... but you can still..." and then maybe, if it's something where he could accidentally hurt mis, sam'll watch a tiktok about it or do a little googling, but not always. it's mostly just vibes based. he's been pushing misa around forever anyway, this isn't a new desire to him.

later, sam is like "mis, what's a dom?" and mis gets all peevish and shy, he's like "oh, it's like when you're in control and stuff, like during sex"

sam's super excited by this because he kinda just want to be misa's anything. "so i'm your dom?"

"i think so"

"sick, i thought i was just your boyfriend'

misa's surprised because like, after the first time, nothing really changed. sam would still rub his legs with amica cream after an especially rough game and pay for his lunches, just with the added benefit of getting fucked really good.

"my boyfriend???"

sam kinda spirals about this, like a small one. tries to keep it small at least. "any other guys fucking you into the mattress talking about 'i'm gonna put some babies in you?''

and obviously no, there's nobody else. misa shakes his head.

"yeah, bet these other guys don't even know about the mating press."

I think he first got into podcasts through hockey. He listens to hockey podcasts to stay up to date with any kind of news that's going on, because he can't be bothered to read articles and he doesn't always have time to doomscroll on tiktok and get his information there.

So one day, instead of putting on music, he put hockey podcast into the search bar and clicked on the most popular one. He tried out a bunch of different ones until he found his favorite, and while he won't admit it, he now actively waits for the newest episode every week and listens to it as soon as he can. In the car, in the gym, on a run, in the shower, when he's doing chores. Just whenever.

He then stumbles upon a new podcast and only like halfway through does he notice that they haven't talked about hockey once. Huh. He listens to it and, even though he finds their voices obnoxious, he doesn't hate it, so he goes on a search for non-hockey podcasts. History podcasts? boring. Cooking podcasts? shouldn't that have video? What about– does every single celebrity have their own podcast these days?

Overall, it turns out to be a good alternative to music for him, and sure, he'll occasionally zone out because he saw a cute dog on the street and he can't stop thinking about how he should have taken a picture and sent it to every person he knows. And okay, maybe sometimes the hosts have such a bad take that he starts an argument with them in his head and then misses the next 20 minutes of the episode. But he does pay attention most of the time. Half of the time.

Of course he also listens to every episode of Never Offside, and him and Cat have weekly conversations about it and podcasts in general, because Misa thinks it's so cool that she has a podcast and that he can listen to it and debrief with her afterwards.

When he wonders if he could have a podcast of his own, he quickly decides that he would either not know what to say or just ramble in a way that would only make sense to himself. He thinks he would need someone like Sam as his partner. They would be so good at it, bouncing ideas off of each other, giggling and talking for three hours straight (not that their yapping sessions would make much sense to anyone else either.)

it’s just so beautiful. i don’t know how much more i have to say on the matter without repeating the words of other samisa circlejerk members but i have been thinking about it in the context of their accidental vegas marriage

sam thinks it’s funny to roll over and say do you want to have married sex every time they hook up, which misa reasons isn’t actually hooking up now because they’re actually married. sam thinks adding the word married to everything they do is funny (let’s married kiss, we should watch married tv, im ready for married dinner, we’re gonna be late for married practice), misa finds this only a little funny but that’s not the point.

sam is already inside him when he leans over misa panting on the bed and for the first time says, wanna get you pregnant. the words settle heavy under misa’s skin, he can just barely feel sam thrusting into him under his hands on his stomach. holy fuck. misa’s nodding erratically, like he can’t tell if his whole body is moving on its own accord or if it’s just because sam is almost hitting him against the headboard.

above him, sam’s mirroring the way misa feels. desperate and earnest, and he can’t stop running his mouth, gonna fill you up and and, fuck, mis. gotta put a baby in you, wanna knock you up so bad. we gotta— you look so good, fuck— we gotta keep trying. misa feels insane, feels like he might be floating out of his body, but sam is coming in him and wow, he needs to throw out all their condoms.

after the fact, with misa flopped over sam’s chest now, he feels marginally embarrassed about it but sam is grinning, not an ounce of insecurity. a baby would totally be the next step. misa frowns, we’re not adopting a kid. sam pets his hands through misa’s sweaty hair. i didn’t say anything about adoption, mis.

misa’s not even sure if he wants kids ever but CERTAINLY not now and yet when sam says shit like, wanna knock you up, with the most earnest sounding voice, misa uh.. likes it. he really likes whenever sam gets any amount of earnest but especially about the nonsensical bullshit about fucking him stupid. yet, sam, you can’t actually get me pregnant. sam pets the hair back from his eyes again, maybe but we should probably just make sure, you know?

michael misa’s guide to doing nothing and still getting laid

explicit, non-explicit descriptions of underage sex, 6.2k words

Mike has always been pretty good at letting other people make the next move. Sam takes that seriously.

He likes when it’s not a big deal that he doesn’t know what to do next.

He also likes Sam, who's good at stuff that Mike just isn’t. He’s good at getting the room to lighten up, good at interpreting a chirp, good at keeping a bit going. Mike usually watches while Sam does his thing, feeling kind of how he did watching Connor McDavid highlights as a kid. Like, I wanna be that way too, but also, it’s kind of hot that he’s that way and I’m not.

toff goes back to the hotel early one time, he thinks misa and sam are not stupid enough to do anything but maybe lose some money in slots, and there’s so many teammates around that nothing bad could happen. then he wakes up and sees misa’s stupid origami five dollar ring. his first thought isn’t even vegas marriage, because that would be insane, he’s worried about how much money he may have lost. but no, toff starts digging and then sam leans over with an arm around misa to say, hey, that’s my husband you’re talking to. it’s a nightmare. toff is living a nightmare.

post accidental marriage, sam thinks it’s so goddamn funny and misa is caught between yeah, it is really funny he’s married to sam, versus the world feels off center and he’s very concerned about next steps. sam’s initial reaction was actually to freak out but he took one look at misa’s scared face and reigned that shit in. misa needs him to be normal and calm about this, sam can do that, pretending to be that may actually be making him feel normal and calm. and it is a little funny, so many husband and ball and chain jokes to make.

sam reasons that they’ll just get it annulled when they get back to san jose, all good. unfortunately samisa are actual dumbasses and by the time the roadie ends, and they get back home, both of them have forgot they’re legally married. toff once again assumes that they are not that stupid and they did get annulled like they fucking said.

sam remembers the little flimsy marriage license burning a whole in his still not unpacked suitcase a week later when he wakes up in a cold sweat. it takes one google search and a lot of clicking around on state websites for them to figure out they’re sort of fucked. well not entirely fucked, just that they don’t really have legal precedent for an annulment. sam says okay, it’s chill, we can get divorced, and then sits there and watches as misa’s eyes water and he starts freaking out again, i don’t want a divorce! he doesn’t like the idea of going on with his life and having to explain to people that he’s divorced, has an ex-husband, that his ex-husband is sam. staying married is probably not a solution but misa would feel a lot better telling people he’s married to sam than divorced.

sam maybe agrees too quickly to staying married indefinitely. this way he gets to keep making married jokes. and if they make out, and hook up sometimes, and sam pets misa’s hair back while they watch tv, that’s fine, they’re married. it’s not even gay because it’s marriage, they cancel each other out or something. the first time they actually have sex is post marriage (handies don’t count), and sam sticks his hand up misa’s shirt and says, do you want to have married sex?

it turns out that married sex is really good, or that sex with misa is really good, two things can be true. sam does like having misa as his husband, it’s like a fun bit he gets to run but is also real because sam gets to hold misa against his chest and ask, do you want a real ring? before kissing the back of his neck. they’re married! and misa wants them to stay married, still wants them to move in together next season and now sam gets to say, and we won’t even be living in sin. it’s sort of perfect.

i'm your man