Am I A Hero?

                                      “ With his prodigious s t r e n g t h,                      he stands ever ready to keep his companions from harm.” 

*Accidentally spills [[SPECIFY HERE]] on you*

*Slaps you*

*Kisses you on the lips*

*Bites your lip*

*Rubs your shoulders*

*Dumps ice water over your head*

*Winks at you*

*Flips hair at you*

*Throws a ball of paper towards you*

*Hands you a note, inside it says [[SPECIFY HERE]]*

*Slams the door shut behind you*

*Storms out of the room*

*Wraps my arms around you from behind*

*Kisses your neck*

*Nibbles on your earlobe*

*Tucks a strand of hair behind your ear*

*Strokes your hair*

*Caresses your cheek*

*Holds you in my arms*

QUOTES - PICK UP LINES EDITION

“You’re cute and I’m horny. You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I see you like cardio… wanna go back to my place and do it together?”

“I’m sorry, but I just received a call for you. From heaven? I think they’re missing an angel.”

“Hold my hand? I’m afraid I’m getting lost in your eyes.”

“Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

“Are you a pokemon? Because I’d like to peek-at-chu.”

“If I had a dollar for every beautiful girl/guy I saw tonight, I’d have one dollar. Because the only beautiful girl/guy in here is you.”

“Maybe I could show you my [[SPECIFY ITEM]] collection. It’s back at my house, so we’d have to go there but…”

*Spills a drink on your shirt* “I’m so sorry! But if it’s any reassurance, I think that top would look better on my bedroom floor anyways.”

QUOTES - STRANGERS EDITION

“I’m sorry, have we met before?”

“I don’t know you, but thanks.”

“You’re a very nice guy/girl, you know that?”

“We only just met… but I’d really like to see you again.”

“Do you think you could move your ass out of my friend’s seat?”

“It’s none of your business. We just met.”

“Hey I’m [[NAME HERE]] and my crazy ex-girlfriend/boyfriend is here and I was wondering if you’d pretend to date me so I can get them off my back?”

"I’m so sorry about that! Let me buy you a new sandwich.”

“Oh shit. I didn’t mean to trip you I swear, I’m sorry.”

QUOTES - WORKPLACE EDITION

“Did you get that email I sent you last night?”

“No, I’m serious. She/he brought a flask to work.”

"I overheard the boss and I think you’re about to be put up for a promotion!”

“I know what you’ve got in that top drawer.”

“I can’t believe you’re drunk at work.”

“You know, most people watch porn at home.”

“Your Netflix binge is using up all the broadband.”

“Stop torrenting, asshole! I have a report to send off to Japan in an hour and I can’t even open Gmail!”

“If you spent half as much time on doing your job as you do on World on Warcraft, maybe you’d have a chance at a promotion too.”

“You’ve been working here for 6 years and you don’t know where the break room is?”

QUOTES - SCHOOL EDITION

“Didn’t you hear? [[NAME HERE]] and [[NAME HERE]] hooked up last night!”

"We lost the playoffs.”

“The girls team beat the boys!”

“I heard he/she got called into the principal’s office.”

“Apparently the swim team had an orgy after hours.”

“I heard they were fucking in the bathroom.”

“She/he’s been paying people to do their homework!”

“She/he fell running in the hallway and knocked out a few teeth.”

“I can’t believe we’re graduating this year.”

“Being a freshman sucks.”

“I slept with a sophomore last weekend.”

“She/he told me they were a junior!”

“Why are those freshmen staring at you?”

“Is there a reason everyone suddenly knows your name overnight?”

“How come everyone suddenly knows who I am?”

“Did you tell them about my [[INSERT SECRET HERE]]?!”

"I can’t believe you hooked up with my boyfriend/girlfriend.”

“I definitely failed that test.”

“I got an A on my essay!”

QUOTES - SASS EDITION

“Wow, there’s a stick wedged so far up your ass I don’t think I can even pull it out.”

“I’m sorry, but my number of fucks to give has officially reached a negative number.”

“Uranus called and said I’m huge and in the way.”

"I’m searching… searching… oh. Well would you look at that. I couldn’t find any fucks to give.”

“What’s the difference between a dolphin and you? Dolphins have brains.”

“Just because that’s mistletoe hanging above us doesn’t mean I’m going to kiss you.”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“At this point you might as well ask for my autograph.”

QUOTES - ARGUMENTS/ROWS/QUARRELS EDITION

“You know I’m right! I’m always right!”

"Shut up. Just shut up!”

“I don’t need to listen to this.”

“You’re lying.”

“I can’t believe you’d say that. Even in an argument, that was low of you.”

“I can’t look at you.”

“Don’t fucking touch me.”

“If you say one more word, I swear…”

“Pipe down, you’re making a scene.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Now I know why people think you’re neurotic.”

“You must be crazy.”

“I’m not backing down.”

"You can’t hide the truth forever, you know.”

“What’s your issue?”

"You make me so angry.”

"This has nothing to do with you.”

QUOTES - LOVERS EDITION

"And… and I love you! It’s what I’ve been trying to tell you all along.”

“I don’t know how to say it. But you know what I’m trying to say, right?”

“I’ve never been good at this. I don’t do relationships. But I… I want to try with you.”

"You’re the one that I want.”

“I don’t care. I don’t give a shit, don’t you get it? I don’t give a flying fuck unless it has to do with you. I love you.”

"Please don’t say that. You know you’re the only one for me. Fuck everyone else.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you. Every minute of every day. I could be standing in the shower or cooking breakfast, but you’re still the only thought on my mind.”

“I want to wake up next to you, everyday for the rest of my life.”

“I’ve always been afraid of commitment, okay? That’s why I sleep around.”

"I’ve never wanted to give love a try until now.”

“Please, don’t leave me.”

“I need you more than you will ever know.”

“I love you more than I could ever express in words.”

QUOTES - DRUNK AND KNOCKING AT YOUR DOOR EDITION

*Starts singing [[SPECIFY SONG NAME]] outside your door/window*

“I didn’t fuck him/her, I swear!”

“I brought vodka and ice cream.”

“You left your anal beads at my house. Wait… no, they’re just normal mardi gras beads.”

“I can’t believe you went without me!”

“I love you, I love you so much and you just don’t see it. What am I supposed to do?”

“I know you’re sad and upset. Let me be your distraction! I want to be your distraction!”

“I can’t find my apartment and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Let me in! I think I’m gonna throw up.”

TEXTS - DRUNK EDITION

[TEXT] You dumped me for HIM/HER?

[TEXT] I can’t stop listening to our song.

[TEXT] My pillow still smells like you.

[TEXT] You left your cologne when you moved out. I used it up.

[TEXT] Do you even love me?

[TEXT] What happened to us?

[TEXT] I just want to eat bacon and see you naked. And then eat bacon off of you naked.

[TEXT] IM26C4U.

[TEXT] You never gave a shit about me.

[TEXT] I couldn’t care less.

[TEXT] Now you know how it feels.

[TEXT] I still love you.

[TEXT] I can’t stop thinking about all the times you told me you loved me… and wondering if they were lies.

TEXTS - EMERGENCY EDITION

[TEXT] I fell down the stairs and… well, I’m in the ER.

[TEXT] ______ got injured during their game and I’m waiting with them at the hospital but I can’t do this alone.

[TEXT] Did you know your mother/father is at the hospital right now??

[TEXT] I was cleaning out the garage and I’m stuck under some boxes!! Please help before the spiders get me.

A flower.

Rare, precious, a symbol of life that was not lost on Elena. Her face lit up seeing it, the beautiful, delicate living thing in his hands. Heat flushed her, red crawling across cheeks as she glanced down at the floor and smiled. Oh, she felt like a teenager, giddy and nervous, like her stomach was doing little flips inside her, what was she meant to say?

“Thank…thanks,” she stumbled over her words for a moment, how was this happening to her? Elena was a Turk, at least that was what she kept telling herself. She took on the most dangerous missions that ShinRa had. She had killed entire encampments of enemies by herself, walked through a house duel pistols taking out everything in her path without blinking.

A boy with a flower.

That was what made her stumble.

“ be true, be brave, stand. all the rest is darkness. ”

“ you have been my friend, that in itself is a tremendous thing. ”

“ learn your way around loneliness, make a map of it. ”

“ i am no bird; and no net ensnares me. ”

“ i cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all the things we didn’t say until it was too late. ”

“ i bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass i love, if you want me again look for me under your boot-soles. ”

“ you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. ”

“ only the sky above us do we hold in common. ”

“ sometimes i can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives i’m not living. ”

“ i’ve just been afraid for too long. ”

“ the first time i saw her everything in my head went quiet. ”

“ kisses are a better fate than wisdom. ” 

“ and death i think is no parenthesis. ”

“ thought my soul may set in darkness it will rise in perfect light. ”

“ i have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. ”

“ it is strange the pearly planet should look red as fiery mars. ”

i’m always tired of seeing the cringiest sentence starters for smut so i’m back at it again kids. feel free to adjust sentences or specify who does the action. 

ACTIONS: 1. for one muse to give the other oral 2. to skinny dip with my muse 3. to shower with my muse 4. to take a hot bath with my muse 5. for sex in public 6. for sex in the car 7. to catch my muse naked 8. to undress my muse 9. for sparring to turn into sex 10. for an argument to turn into sex 11. for make up sex 12. for friends with benefits sex 13. to tie up my muse 14. to blindfold my muse 16. to make one muse watch the other masturbate 17. for a threesome (specify muses) 18. for one muse to wake the other by fingering them/giving a handjob 19. for one muse to deny the other orgasm 20. for angry sex  21. for break up sex 22. for sex after a near death experience  23. for after battle sex 24. for sex to get revenge on an ex 25. for one muse to give the other a lap dance or strip tease  26. to make my muse whimper 27. for one muse to take the other from behind 28. for sex against the wall 29. for sex on a table/counter/desk 30. for sex in a pool/hot tub 31. for one muse to choke the other 32. for rough sex  33. for our muses to try a new position 34. for our muses to try a new kink together 35. for one muse to use a toy on the other 36. for one muse to sit on the other’s face

Instant Meme, just add character traits! Fill in with your muse’s answers!

Preference for top or bottom?

Favorite type, looks and personality wise?

Get up and shower after or bask in the afterglow all sticky and wet?

Monogamous? Open relationship? Polyamorous?

Deep and slow? Hard and fast? What’s your character’s preference?

Favorite sex position?

What’s your character’s favorite kink?

How active in bed is your character? Do they like to lie there and take it or do they like to get the most bang for their buck?

Kissing during sex, yes or no?

Clothes off or on during sex?

Lingerie? Yes or no?

Would your character join a threesome if given a chance?

Your character’s Penis size? 

Preference for penis size?

Does your character like to roleplay? If so, what?

Does your character prefer condoms or bareback?

Your character’s most private sexual fantasy?

How sexually active is your character?

When did your character lose their virginity?

Kinks your character would participate in?

Kinks your character would not participate in?

By hollowed reason I have swallowed whole; the sharp unkindness of humanity.